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“Sure,” Elizabeth said before tossing off what was left in her glass.
“Why didn’t you make me go to college? You let me stay home and do nothing, not get a job, not try to work on having a career.”
“You didn’t need a career,” Bob snapped. “We made sure you’d have enough so you could just be you and not have to deal with the rat race. I did enough of that for all of us.”
“Thank you for that, Dad, but still, I wonder if I could have accomplished more with my life.”
“It’s not too late to do something, especially if you’re going to blame us for being a dud.”
“Dad, you always make me feel like a piece of shit, did you realize that?”
Elizabeth whimpered, shocked at the words, waving her hands around. “Oh, Lila, what a thing to say. Everything Daddy did, he did for you.”
Lila looked over at Bob, and his looked petrified her, eyebrows down, threatening. Don’t tell. Reaching for a paper napkin, Lila blew her nose. “I’m getting cold,” she said. “Can we go inside?”
No one answered, but they gathered up the glasses and the tray of snacks, Bob holding the door so Lila could walk through.
The atmosphere was awkward, as it always was when the three of them were together. How’d they manage to live together under one roof for all those years? As soon as Bob retired, they’d moved to the over-fifty-five community and let Lila have the house, never to return.
“So what do you know about the Saints?” Lila asked.
“They’re freeloaders, for one thing,” Bob retorted.
“They’re firefighters, Dad, how does that make them freeloaders?”
“They live off the system. Take your mother’s former paramour, Fat Mike.”
“What? It’s Big Mike, and why is he mother’s former, what did you call him? Paramour.”
“She had an affair with Mike Saint,” Bob spat out.
Lila looked at Elizabeth, whose head was in her hands, a soft, painful mewing sound coming from her.
“Instead of retiring at fifty-five like he should have, he’s still collecting a paycheck. I’ve heard he can’t climb the ladders anymore, yet he’s still going out on runs with the team. Why? To collect his paycheck.”
The impulse to get up and leave struck Lila, but she didn’t think she should leave Elizabeth alone with Bob. Memories fought to get to the surface, and one punched through the tough membrane of her subconscious. Bob had hit Elizabeth in front of Lila when she was a child. No wonder she’d found solace with gentle Big Mike Saint. Longing to know more about that affair, it wasn’t going to happen with Bob Conner hanging around. She’d have to finagle an invitation out for Elizabeth. Maybe fake wedding dress shopping would be a good enough excuse.
“Well, it might go somewhere with Charlie, so I wanted you both to be prepared.”
Wiping her eyes with a tissue, Elizabeth moaned, needing another drink but willing to wait until this story was told. How could Lila get Elizabeth out of the house?
“Did you want to take a trip down to La Jolla Bridal, Mom? It’s right in Bird Rock. Now, mind you, he hasn’t asked and we’re nowhere near it, but I want to see what the styles are now. I have no idea, to tell you the truth.”
“Oh, Lila, you can’t marry Charlie,” she said, “but I can look with you.”
Bob didn’t object, but he still had that look, that resting-bitch-face look she’d grown up with.
They left with little fanfare. If Bob was jealous they didn’t include him, he didn’t let on.
“Let’s walk,” Elizabeth said. “It’s been days since I’ve been out of the house. This feels so good.”
“Mother, all you have to do is pick up your phone and dial and I’ll be here in half an hour. I’m not sure why you insist on playing this game.”
“I’m just trying to keep the peace,” she replied. “You saw how he acted over your news! I’m sorry he brought that business with Mike up.”
So Elizabeth opened the door to the topic. “When did you have the affair?”
“Lila, it was long before Mike and Roberta were even married. Bob and I were just dating; we weren’t even engaged. I should never have told him I’d been with Mike, but I was opting for openness and truth. You know the lie, right? Everything must be out on the table or you can’t move forward. And he hated the Saints anyway, so I felt it doubly important to tell him.”
