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He left without another word. Alone in the witch’s home, I turned to Bryony. I hardly had to reach for her before she had her arms around me. I rested my brow against her shoulder, breathing her in.Real, I thought.This much, at least, is real.
My memories, unlocked, lay like the cold blade of a knife in my palm. “I planned this, Bryony,” I told her.
It had been difficult. My mind was not, by nature, orderly. “I knew that if I came up with a complicated plan, Iris and Calebwould spot it and stop me,” I explained as Bryony stared. “So I put the pieces in place and made myself forget. So that I would act on instinct and buried memories. So that I would seem helpless.”
“What did you do?” Bryony asked, searching my eyes.
“What day is it?” I asked instead of answering.
“It’s been one year since you came to Harrow,” Bryony said gently. “When the sun rises, it will be one year exactly. But we can get you away from here.”
“No,” I said. I swallowed. “You were right, Bryony. I can’t cut myself free of the dark soul. I can’t leave part of myself behind. I have to face this.”
“It’s too dangerous,” Bryony said.
“You’re the Harrow Witch. Don’t tell me you’re afraid,” I said lightly.
“Of course I’m afraid,” she said, angry and sorrowful. “I could lose you, Rabbit. I could lose the stars, and then where would I be?”
“You’ll be with me,” I said. I took her hands and looked into her eyes. “Even if I shatter into a thousand broken skies, I will be yours. But I have a chance to be whole. I have a chance to be free. If I go back. Trust me, Bryony. Trust that I know what I’m doing. I have all along, even if I didn’t remember. Come with me.”
“Always,” she whispered. “Always.”
In the distance, the sun broke over the horizon.
35
I WENT ALONEto the steps of Harrowstone Hall and walked right in through the front door. This was my house, after all. I didn’t need to knock.
Caleb was in the foyer, lacing up his boots with a rifle slung over his back. About to come looking for me, no doubt.
The surprise on Caleb’s face was almost comical. “Helen,” he said warily.
“Caleb,” I replied.
“What are you doing here?” he asked, clearly suspicious.
“Turning myself in,” I said. I stepped forward, wrists out as if for handcuffs. “There’s no point running. Do what you’re going to do. I’m done.”
Caleb crossed the distance between us in two long strides and lunged at me. I flinched back. He caught my face in his hand, cupping my chin with his fingers digging into my jaw, forcing me to look at him. “Get that smirk off your face. Rachel almost died because—”
“Because you tried to shoot me,” I said icily. I shoved him back. “I didn’t fire that bullet, you did. And I didn’t kill Jessamine—that was you, too.”
Fury blazed in Caleb’s eyes. He swung his fist, punching me quick and hard in the gut. I doubled over, retching and gasping. He grabbed me by the back of the neck and hauled me up the stairs to Iris’s study. He shoved me inside, and Iris turned from the window, brows shooting up in surprise.
“Look what came back,” Caleb said.
I straightened up, panting a bit. “Good morning, Grandmother,” I said.
Her lips pursed. “That simplifies things.”
“I’d like to get this over with. Before anything else can go wrong,” Caleb said. His hand was painfully tight around the back of my neck. I gritted my teeth.
“You don’t have to drag me around. I won’t run again,” I said. His grip didn’t relent.
“Then let us gather everyone and begin. There have been entirely too many of these occasions in my tenure here, Caleb. I do not wish to see another in my lifetime. At least we don’t have to do it in the dead of night this time, now that everyone knows.”
“It’s just as sordid in daylight, Mother,” Caleb said, but he steered me back out of the room. I twisted free of him and rubbed my neck, glaring.
