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“I don’t know. Should have said something earlier I guess.”
“You think?” R.J.’s eyes strayed to the sleeping girl, “I had a right to know.”
“Yes,” I agreed, “and I’m sorry. I was more focused on her.”
“Don’t think for a second that I couldn’t throw you to the wolves, bro. I didn’t have to tell her the truth tonight.”
“So why did you then,” my voice was strained. “You could have?”
R.J. banged his head back lightly against the wall in frustration, “Because of her. I’d like to say that because we’re so close I couldn’t sabotage you, but the truth is, I could if I thought I had any chance with her.”
“I know,” I sighed as I watched Rae roll over in her sleep. “And I couldn’t be angry with you for it.”
Silence stretched between us, the same quiet that lingered whenever we talked about her. Maybe we didn’t know what to say to each other, or maybe we were afraid this would ruin our friendship.
“How long have we both loved her? Too long Pete.” R.J.’s eyes revealed a quick flash of pain, but he didn’t let me see it for long.
“Yeah.”
“She loves you, not me.”
I nodded, “Yeah, I know.”
“Always has been you. I can’t change that.”
“You ever going to tell her?” I met his gaze for the first time.
“Nah, no point. I told her I loved her tonight, but it meant nothing more than friendship. You should have seen her eyes when she realized you were telling her the truth. She’s got it as bad as you do. You both love each other, and I’m not such a jerk that I would interfere.”
“Maybe she needs to know. Maybe I should let her choose,” I leaned back and closed my eyes. “God that would kill me.”
“As much as it did to see her ride away with me tonight?”
I laughed without humor, “Something like that.”
“I saw your face, I’m not willing to do that to a friend.”
“I’m grateful.”
“We’ve always been more than friends or even brothers.”
I knew what he meant. It was something like the connection that Rae and I shared, although not sexual in any way, we were close. Our bond was intense and incredibly strong. I could sense R.J. and Jake easily. I knew their thoughts and feelings as well as my own.
I guess to anyone else it would be weird, but to us it was normal.
R.J. nudged me, “What are we going to do about Step-Vader?”
“Nothing yet. He’s not revealed his true purpose or nature so until he does, we protect her like we always have.”
“Good. I’m tired. You get first watch,” he joked, but he knew I would insist on being the first.
“Sure.”
R.J. was lightly snoring within five minutes. I stood and stretched and checked the lock on the door as I walked around the room in an effort to wake up. Last night I managed about three hours of sleep. Tonight I would be lucky to get another three.
I paused when I heard footsteps outside Rae’s door. The doorknob rattled once and stilled, the noise quiet enough to keep the two in the room sleeping. I pulled the gun from behind my back and checked it, before returning the pistol to my waistband, and grasped my hunting knife. The same clicking sounds and rattling continued for a minute and then the knob unlocked.
So slowly I thought I might have imagined it, the knob began to turn.
