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But then in a low voice he continued, ‘It was hard to take in. It still is.’
‘I’m sure.’ Cautiously Kate felt for his hand, which had come to rest outside the covers, and softly laid her own over it. ‘Did you have any idea that Philippos...that he was suffering from mental health problems?’
‘Not really. I hadn’t been back to Crete for some time. After we sold the software patent our business relationship was dissolved. We went our separate ways.’
‘And what about Sofia? Did she know?’
‘She was away at some fancy boarding school. Philippos obviously decided he had to do something with all that money he’d made.’ Nikos’s throat moved on a swallow. ‘I thought I was doing the right thing, Kate. I thought that making Philippos rich and successful would make him happy. Instead I ruined his life.’
‘Why would you say that?’ Kate edged closer to him, squeezing his hand under hers.
‘Because it’s true.’
‘No.’ Suddenly she felt an overwhelming need to comfort him, to take away the hurt in his eyes. ‘You can’t blame yourself for Philippos’s death.’
‘Can’t I?’ Shrugging off her hand, Nikos roughly pulled back the sheet and got out of bed. ‘You just watch me. If I hadn’t gone back to Agia Loukia that summer, seen what Philippos was working on and persuaded him to let me market it commercially, his genius idea would have stayed on the drawing board. He would never have had to try and cope with the pressures of such unexpected wealth. He would still be alive. And Sofia would still have a brother.’
‘You don’t know that, Nikos.’ Scooting across the bed, Kate jumped out too, the urge to rush and put her arms around him propelling her forward to where his proud figure was silhouetted against the window. ‘Mental health problems are far more complicated to deal with than that.’
Nikos stilled, then turned to look at her, spearing her with his gaze. ‘You sound like you speak from experience.’
She certainly did. Kate hesitated. In this moment of quiet she would have liked to tell him about her mother, but that would mean breaking her promise. So instead she sidestepped his remark. ‘I know it’s something a lot of people suffer from.’
‘And there are all kinds of very effective treatments. If I had made time to see Philippos more often, found him some professional help, been the friend to him that I should have been, I know I could have saved him. But instead of that I was too busy making money, turning my own millions into billions. Scarcely giving a thought to how he was coping.’
‘Punishing yourself now is not going to bring Philippos back, Nikos.’ Kate pressed a hand to his chest, feeling the heartbeat beneath.
‘I know that.’ Nikos turned his head. ‘Trust me, if it could I would willingly accept the harshest punishment going.’
Kate gazed at his noble profile, at his jaw held tight with grief. Very gently she turned him to face her again. ‘It’s far better to channel that negative energy into something positive.’ She gave him a tender smile. ‘Taking care of Sofia, for example.’
‘You are right.’
Nikos let out a pent-up breath. Gathering Kate’s hand in his, he moved it down to her side, then ran his fingers the length of her arms. Kate’s senses skittered with pleasure.
‘Which is why I am determined to be there for Sofia in a way I never was for Philippos. I know I can never replace her brother, but I’m going to try my hardest to be the next best thing. I will do everything within my power to make sure she has the best life possible.’
‘Even get married to a woman you despise?’ The words escaped Kate’s lips before she could stop them.
Nikos gave a soft huff. ‘I have never despised you, Kate. Don’t ever think that.’ He laced his fingers through hers, drawing her against his naked chest and holding her close. ‘I’ll admit that my feelings for you over the years have been harsh. Our bitter break-up saw to that. But despise you? No—never. How could I when we can share something so special?’
Sex. He was talking about sex, that was all. But nuzzled against his muscled chest, breathing in his warm scent, Kate allowed herself to dream, just for this moment.
