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But now he’d gone and hurt her. This was why he avoided relationships. His chosen lifestyle didn’t give him a chance to be good at them.
She turned to face him. “How does it look?”
He stared into the eyes that terrified him with their ability to make him envision a different future for himself, a different path. “It looks like it belongs right there.”
But where did he belong?
That holiday season, he wasn’t quite as sure.
And he refused to believe that his ringing cell phone at that moment was a sign of anything other than bad timing. Maria’s name was lighting up his call display when he took the phone out of his pocket, and he hesitated.
Jessica glanced at it. “You can go ahead. I’ll keep decorating,” she said.
“You sure? It’s…a colleague.” It was true, so why did he feel guilty? Probably because there were times overseas that Maria was more than just a colleague. Though he knew that wouldn’t be happening on this upcoming mission.
“Absolutely,” she said.
“Okay. I’ll just be a minute.” He walked away from the crowd and the tree and found some quiet in the den. “Hey, Maria,” he said as he answered.
The distinct sound of sobbing on the other end of the line simultaneously made him wish he’d sent the call to voicemail and that he was where she was to comfort her. “Hey…you okay?” Dumb question. Obviously, she was spiraling. The way he probably should and would be if Jess hadn’t saved him from himself that month.
“I…don’t…think…I…can…go…back.” The words came out on short, raspy breaths as though she were struggling to breathe.
He hated hearing her this way. Maria was one of the most positive and upbeat nurses he’d ever traveled with. She was mild-mannered and soft-spoken, but tough and resilient when she needed to be. She was a damn good nurse—compassionate, smart, quick thinking. They’d become fast friends during their first mission together overseas and then over the years, they’d gotten really comfortable with each other. They weren’t in love. They were friends who relied on each other in a lot of different ways.
“It’s okay,” he said steadily. “Take a breath. Start counting…one, two…”
“Three…four…”
They counted up to ten and he rubbed a hand over his face, feeling her anxiety being transferred through the phone. It was almost another full two minutes before she was able to speak. “I’m not sure going back is the right thing.”
“I understand.” He’d had similar thoughts when he’d first left the country.
“But I think if I don’t, the last mission…what happened will continue to plague me.”
“I agree.” It was definitely one of the driving forces behind him wanting that placement, too.
“You’re coming, too, right?” she asked, sounding relieved by that at least. “I saw your name added to the team list online.”
Mitch stared out through the den doorway toward the tree. His gaze landed on Jessica and his heart had never felt so conflicted. It wasn’t that he was considering not going and staying in Blue Moon Bay, it was that he knew leaving wasn’t going to be easy.
“Mitch? You were assigned to Cambodia on the 25th, weren’t you?” Maria asked again in his silence. “You did accept, right?” She sounded slightly panicked again.
“Yes, I did. Don’t worry, I’ll be there,” he said reassuringly, even though his own feelings on it had gotten so much more complicated.
“Promise,” she asked softly, and the hair on the back of his neck stood up. She no longer sounded like she was asking as a colleague and someone who needed his support professionally…but something more personal. His gut twisted, but he was going to go and he would be there for her. Not in every way she might need, though.
“I promise.”
Jessica turned and glanced his way as she selected a shiny, plastic gold ball to hang on the tree, and her smile was unsure when she caught his stare.
“See you soon,” Maria said.
He disconnected the call and took a breath as he returned to the tree.
“Everything okay?” Jess asked, concern in her voice and expression.
Glitter and sparkles from the decorations covered her beautiful, soft cheeks and he didn’t need to force a smile as he took her hand in his. “Yeah…everything is great.”
