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“That’s right,” Dean said, nodding. “I moved us into this little house, not far from your place now. We were crammed in there. The babies cried all the time. Mandy complained that the island was too small, that she couldn’t get along with anyone because she was a city girl at heart. And I fell into my job. That movie was exciting for me. Seeing Christopher Reeve up close? That was wild to me. He also had a kindness to him that I hadn’t anticipated.
“Me and the other stagehand boys were always goofing off, running around, trying to get away with anything we could during our downtime. When I was with them, I felt like the twenty-five-year-old nobody I really was. Heck, I look at Michael and I remember exactly how that felt. No wonder he took off this island. He was doing exactly what I was doing when I hooked up with Allison. Hell. Maybe it’s the same as Elise coming out here to Mackinac to find her family.
“God, but it was romantic,” Dean continued, heaving a sigh. “When she first gave me that look—I knew she had me. There was no turning back. I fell for her, hard and fast. I did all I could to get out of the house. Mandy noticed, of course, and commented about it. She was depressed and up to her ears in the chaos with the kids. I just told her I was doing my best to keep food on the table; what could she say to that? That was such a low blow and I do regret it.”
Wayne had lost his appetite. Hearing these long-lost regrets from a man he had respected for years was a difficult thing to swallow, but it also gave him the sense that nothing in this life was for sure. Not even for men like Dean Swartz.
“Of course, I noticed that Alex wasn’t doing so good,” Dean said. “But I insisted it was Mandy’s fault. I wanted everything to be Mandy’s fault because I was trying my best to dig myself out of that marriage. I told her that she didn’t feed him the right foods. I told her she didn’t dress him warm enough. I told her all sorts of things that made her cry. When we finally got the news that Alex had cancer, I completely broke apart. It destroyed me and I knew that I had to say goodbye to Allison, that I had to say goodbye to being a stagehand, and that I had to become the kind of man who took care of his family. I turned my back on the film and theater industry—focused only on making money and now...”
He gestured out at the big house around them, the glorious table at which they sat, and the beautiful view of the Straits of Mackinac outside.
“I can’t say I regret it,” he said with a sneaky smile. “But I certainly never expected someone called Elise Darby to darken my door and remind me of all I had once lost.”
**
WAYNE’S MIND STIRREDwith heavy thoughts that night. He sat at the edge of his bed, closed his eyes, and tried to remember exactly what it had felt like to have Tara in the room beside him. She had previously undressed near the wardrobe, donned her nightgown or flannel shirt, and cozied up to him, only to fall asleep moments later. She’d never had trouble with insomnia, not the way he had, both before her death and since.
Dean’s story had dealt Wayne the full brevity of the situation.
It told him that it was never bad to search for what you needed.
Elise, Michael, Dean—even Mandy, in her own way, we're all searching for something.
And Wayne had been complacent, allowing life to happen as it came to him over the years—allowing women to come and go, allowing Mackinac season to rise and fall.
Late that night, he texted Michael.
WAYNE: I might head off the island for a few weeks. I need space to think. Do you think you can manage The Grind?
Michael texted back after only a few seconds. All twenty-somethings had a phone addiction, Wayne thought.
MICHAEL: Are you suggesting that I can tell my mother I’m one of the partners? Are you suggesting I can give her the greatest gift of her life?
WAYNE: If you think your employment is the greatest gift of her life, then the bar is on the floor as far as expectations go.
MICHAEL: Just give me this one thrill.
WAYNE: Fine. You’re a partner. You’re in charge. I’m getting out of here.
MICHAEL: Okay, employee. Have a good vacation.
WAYNE: I should have never given you a single bit of power.
