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Growling, he increases the pressure on my throat, fucking me harder, like he’s actively trying to split me in half. “I was trying to be mature and respectful about our situation.”
“You didn’t even come find me after I left you at the theater,” I cry, release pounding through me, dragging all the hurt along with it. My orgasm crests, looking over the hill as my vision scatters, the ability to speak becoming more difficult. “How can you say you missed me when you didn’t come after me?”
“Oh, fuck, Elena.” He squeezes harder still, pistoning into me so roughly I can feel the bruises forming. “I came after you. I wanted to barge into your grandmother’s apartment and throw you over my shoulder, take you back home with me where you belong. I stood outside for hours, trying to decide how much you’d hate me if I took that choice from you. If I didn’t let you come to terms with things on your own.”
I start to spasm around him, my climax erupting before he’s even finished his sentence as black spots flood my eyesight, that familiar sense of floating suspending me in time as I fall over the cliff.
“That’s it, my sweet wife. You come on your husband’s cock. Make him regret not spending the last two weeks buried inside of you.”
“God, Kallum,” I moan, the orgasm still pulsing, sending wave after wave of euphoria.
“Does my little cock whore need filled?”
I nod, frantically, clawing and scratching at his marred chest, propping myself up into a sitting position and yanking him down into a kiss. Rocking my hips back and forth, meeting each thrust with a miniature one of my own, I tangle my tongue with his, relishing the taste of myself on him.
His palm finds my back, spreading out and holding me flush to his chest as he pushes in one last time, a throaty moan tumbling past his lips. Sweat slicks down our bodies, the origin of which drops belong to who gone as he collapses on top of me, the table groaning under us.
I poke his side as the table buckles. “Maybe we should move elsewhere.”
Pulling himself upright, Kal stares down at me for several long beats, the expression in his eyes completely unreadable. “Okay,” he says softly, standing up and tugging me with him. “Let’s go inside.”
He falls eerily silent once we’re indoors, taking me to the living room and sitting me on the couch. He wraps a plush blanket around my shoulders, then shimmies back into his dress pants, zipping them up and perching on the coffee table directly across from me.
I swallow thickly, awareness prickling on my skin, realizing he’s likely waiting for me to go first. I open my mouth to speak, but he beats me to it.
“I’m in love with you, Elena.”
Snapping my mouth shut, I sit back against the couch, smothering a smug smile. “Well, as far as apologies go, that’s a good place to start.”
He sighs, a small laugh falling from his lips, startling me in how... genuine it sounds. In all the weeks I’ve spent with him, I’ve never heard an actual laugh come from those vocal cords, and the onset of it now causes butterflies to erupt in my chest.
Dragging a hand through his hair, he looks up at me, those dark eyes softening to their natural, warm brown, intoxicating in their soft depths. “I’ll admit, it doesn’t feel like any amount of apologizing will ever absolve me from the sins I’ve committed against you. Not that that means I’m going to stop trying, but still. I just want you to be aware that I know everything I say will feel inadequate.”
Reaching out, he hooks a finger over the ring he gave me the day we married, a small smile splaying on his lips. “I don’t deserve you, you know that?”
“Relative, but go on.”
“When I was a kid, I grew up shrinking myself, making space for my mother and her illness. It needed the attention, needed the focus, so that’s where the majority of everyone’s time went. They came to visit my mother, came to talk to my mother, and I just slunk to the shadows, trying my best not to begrudge her any more than I already did.”
He pauses, shaking his head. “Cancer’s a funny disease, in that it inspires jealousy in some people. There my mother was, slowly decaying, and I had the fucking nerve to resent her for leaving me. Like she had a choice in the matter.”
My heart aches, breaking with each word he speaks, my hands itching to comfort, to relieve his pain, but knowing I need to hear this, too.
You cannot love a person fully without knowing the darkness etched into their soul.
I want to know his so well that it becomes my darkness, too.
“Anyway. I met your parents about a year before she passed, and when she finally did, I went looking for my biological father, hoping he’d... I don’t know, take me in, I guess.” He wraps another finger around mine, covering the diamond. “Long story short, he wasn’t interested in a fourth kid. So, I fell victim to the system, and found myself in a foster home in Boston. Sometime after that, your father approached me on the street, and offered me a job.”
His throat bobs as he swallows, shifting. “I don’t need to go into all the details of the beginning of my career, but the point is, I was starved for attention when I met your parents. Your dad gave me a life of luxury, and for a kid with quite literally nothing, the hero worship came easily. Your mom, well. She gave me the affection I’d been lacking from my own, and I guess the attraction kind of just spiraled from there.”
Tears burn my eyes at the cavalier way he addresses the way my mother treated him, as if there was never anything inherently wrong with it. “She abused you, Kal. They both did, stole an impressionable boy off the streets and manipulated him into their little puppet.”
“It wasn’t like that—”
“Kal,” I say, reaching out to cup his cheek. A tear slips out, rolling down my face as I stare into his eyes. “You didn’t know any better. They were supposed to teach you, and they taught you wrong.”
His eyes burn with unshed emotion, and he seems to look right through me for a long time, processing my words. Maybe I shouldn’t have jumped right into an accusation, but I could feel the apology building, feel the weight of him thinking he ruined me crushing his soul, and I couldn’t take it.
