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“Mom!” Killian slams his utensils on the table. “We said we were never talking about this.”
“Talking about what?” I ask, curious as hell.
“Well, see…” Gareth starts.
“Don’t you dare,” Killian warns.
“Leave it be, Gaz.” Mr. Carson says.
“Oh, she can find out. After all, she’s the only one Kill has brought home. So, Glyn, it’s not a secret that I wanted a girl with everything in me, so when I found out I was pregnant, I bought all sorts of tiny girl clothes and cute dresses for a newborn. I didn’t go to find out the gender, because I was so sure it would be a girl this time. Needless to say, Killian was born. I only had girl clothes for my trip to the clinic, so I had to dress him in one. I swear it was only that once, and I had to commemorate the moment and bury my ‘mother of girls’ dream with it. But Gareth found the picture later on and just wouldn’t shut up about it. Seriously, leave your baby brother alone.”
“Baby? Please tell me you’re kidding.” Rare amusement coats Gareth’s words. “You should’ve seen the picture before he burned it, Glyn. Kill looked like a beautiful princess.”
I can’t help the suppressed laughter that shakes my shoulder at the thought of Killian in a dress.
He, however, seems extremely displeased with this conversation since he glares at both his brother and mother while tapping a finger on the table.
“You feel accomplished or something?” he asks his brother.
Gareth raises a brow. “Very.”
The dinner continues to be lighthearted, fun, yet a bit tense whenever any words are exchanged between Killian and his father.
But I like him with his family. From the outside looking in, he’s not any different from normal and I think that’s the scariest thing about Killian.
Maybe it’s the saddest, too. Because all of his actions and words are learned behavior he perfected to keep his mother happy.
Will I be like her in the future? Completely oblivious to the signs and to how none of Killian’s actions or words are coming from inside him?
Will I be happy just having him around?
After dinner, we watch a family movie and Reina keeps bringing us all sorts of snacks.
She ends up falling asleep halfway through, and Mr. Carson carries her in his arms without saying a word to the rest of us.
As soon as they disappear up the stairs, Killian takes my hand. “Let’s go.”
“But the film isn’t over.”
“Fuck the film. You can watch it later.”
“Killian,” I whisper-yell. “We’re in your parents' house.”
“So? They have sex all the time. They’re probably in the middle of it as we speak.”
Gareth throws a pillow at his head. “Thanks for the image, motherfucker.”
Killian throws it back. Harder. “How do you think you came to life, sunshine? By shitting rainbows?” He tugs on my hand. “We’re leaving. Now.”
I give Gareth an apologetic glance and let Killian take me up the stairs.
“You know, we could’ve stayed a little and finished the film like normal people before you started thinking with your dick,” I say as we reach what I suppose is his room.
It looks like a copy of the one in the Heathens’ mansion, but there’s a full-length mirror on the opposite wall with some American football awards on each side.
I can’t help the urge to check that part of him. It’s strange how much I like discovering these things about him.
He once told me that football—American—helped him with his impulse control, but that’s about it.
