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Fucking hell, Talia, get it together.
“Did you eat?” he murmurs, and when I shake my head, he frowns. “I didn’t wake you, did I?”
“No,” I answer. “What are you working on?” I tread closer, my arms wrapped around my waist as I stop behind him and peer over his shoulder. He seems to freeze, and I realise my breath is blowing across his neck. A slight growl emits from him, and I quickly step back.
Maybe he’s territorial of his work, like I am, or he doesn’t like someone peering over his shoulder. Either way, I stop, not wanting this massive monster pissed at me. He could kill me so easily, yet he turns slowly, allowing me time to see his movements, as if sensing my fear and unease with him.
“Sorry,” I whisper.
He frowns as I avoid his gaze and crooks his finger at me. I freeze, glancing between him and the table, and slowly move closer. When I reach him, he pulls me in front of him. I stiffen at his hands on my hips, but he either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care as he turns again so I’m practically between his thighs. I am so small compared to him, his chin is at my shoulder as he leans over me to show me his work.
“I’m trying to pinpoint what, exactly, in our DNA is affected by sunlight,” he murmurs, showing me the samples.
“If you can locate that specific point, you could isolate it,” I reply, impressed with his work. He jerks against me, sucking in a breath.
“Exactly.” His voice is darker, growly, and I quickly step away, putting my back to the table to face him. His eyes are usually black, but now there is some red flooding them.
“Why do your eyes do that?” I find myself asking.
“Do what?” he queries, tilting his head.
“That.” I gesture. “Change colour.”
He jerks and turns away, breathing slowly, and when he turns back, they are black again. “Sorry,” he mutters. “It is something that happens to us sometimes.”
“When?” I question, too curious for my own good. He watches me before coming to some sort of conclusion.
“Extreme emotion—anger, sadness, happiness, lust…” He trails off, and I gulp. He grins slightly. “It’s different than the haze, but similar bodily reactions.”
“The haze?” I ask, happy to keep asking since he’s answering. It will help settle my curiosity and stop me from analysing why he was turned on by me being so close. It certainly wasn’t anger or sadness.
He nods. “A biological reaction, a predatory trait. It takes control of us when our emotions become too strong or we are threatened. Usually, if we are in danger, it makes us more monster than man, leaving us stronger, faster, and feral, but in that state, we recognise no one or nothing. We could hurt anyone if they get in our way. We try very hard to come back from that state. The first monster who escaped from the lab lived and died in it, and through the generations, we have gotten better at controlling it, though it helps that we aren’t at war anymore and free to find happiness.”
“But before?” I prompt.
“Before? Most of us existed in the haze during the war. We fought to stay alive, filled with bloodlust. We killed many, the death of our own only heightening it. Some still exist in the haze, rejected from tribes for not learning control. They are dangerous, very dangerous, and they would kill their own if they had the chance.”
“Why?”
“The longer you remain in the haze, the more your mind unravels, until you eventually go mad or can’t come back.” He shrugs. “I’ve seen it happen, and it was not pretty.”
“Oh, you saw it happen?”
He nods, glancing away before meeting my gaze. “With my father. When my mother died escaping the labs, he went into the haze. I was just a youngling, protected by our people who went underground while our warriors fought the war above. But I saw him enough to see him slide into the haze. Even when the humans were driven back and the wall started to be built, he couldn’t come back from it. He was lost, mad with grief.”
“Cato,” I whisper, taking his hand and squeezing it, hoping to ease the pain in his voice. “What happened to him?”
“They said he was killed during the final days of the war, but my brother and I found out the truth a few years ago.” When I simply wait, his shoulders fold in. “One of our own had to kill him. With no humans left to slaughter, he turned on his own people, so lost in his pain and grief, and they had no choice but to end his life so he could return to his mate.”
“But you and your brother…” I shake my head. “You lost them both?”
“He isn’t my biological brother. He lost his family in the uprising as well, and we bonded over it and protected each other, but yes, I lost both of my parents. It was a very long time ago, and my people looked after us, loved us, fed us, and raised us as their own.”
“Wow.” I squeeze his hand, trying to offer comfort, knowing how hard losing your family is. “I’m glad you had them and weren’t alone.”
Something in my tone must alert him, a bitterness I suppose, because he glances up at me with knowing eyes. “Like you?”
He told me his story, so for once, I find myself opening up about mine. I nod and look away, staring at my small, pale hand in his much bigger red one. “My parents died when I was young, fifteen. It was my birthday the day after I found out. I had no one. No one cared what happened to me, no one made sure I was fed, happy, or healthy. It was very lonely, and I missed them. I had the money they left, and since I was nearly an adult, I was left to my own devices in their house.”
