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It was shaped like a crescent moon and would always itch whenever I touched it. It was almost subconscious and I just had to think about it to feel it start to react to my attention. Asking my mother and father about it brought about silence. They were obviously hiding something and it was about time it came to light. I was almost 21, still young enough to throw caution to the wind, but old enough to understand responsibility.
“I don’t know how you talk me into these things. It’s too bad you’re in England and not here holding my hand to the fire. I’ve turned around three times and I am definitely going to make a fashionably late entrance. I hope he doesn’t offend easily. I think it goes without saying I don’t have a filter and I never censor what’s going to come out of my mouth,” I warned, but I had come too far to turn around and go back.
The black leather skirt I was wearing hugged my curves in the right way to have men ogle me out of the corner of their eyes thinking they were being subtle. It was like I had this sixth sense to know when they were undressing me with their eyes. A white blouse had the first couple of buttons undone to expose a healthy amount of my cleavage, underneath was a blood red bra made of lace, it felt nice against my skin making me feel feminine. The contrast in colors made the bra shine through the transparent material of my blouse.
“Let him do most of the talking and the rest will work itself out. It’s not a weakness to show some vulnerability. A man inherently wants to be the protector but he also respects a strong and confident woman,” she informed me but I wasn’t sure who she was trying to convince.
The bit of makeup I had put on accentuated my natural beauty. I didn’t need much and just a light gloss on my lips made them a focal point for the evening in the unique color of purple. I was always going against conventional thinking stepping outside of my comfort zone for the shock value.
It was funny but the three voices with me from the age of maturity weren’t there during the day. I thought it had to have something to do with the witching hour when the veil of the supernatural was lifted temporarily giving voice to those that didn’t have one. It was only a theory and I was always curious about those things that went bump in the night.
“I just called for a pep talk and to get your assurance that you will call me in an hour. If things are going well, I can always refuse to take your call and you’ll know the reason why but I wouldn’t bet on it. This is going to be an effort in futility, you know. I still have exams to study for but thankfully my workload is nothing I can’t handle. Caffeine is my friend.” I could admire the city, when the dregs of society came out to play when the lights were extinguished.
It was a different world than what the day walkers remembered. The light made people afraid to come out of their dark holes when they didn’t want people to know their business. Under the cover of darkness they ruled, while the rest of the world hid behind the walls of their homes pretending they were safe from harm, when it couldn?
?t be further from the truth. I always did have a different way of looking at things, making people nervous whenever I spoke of the atrocities in the world happening underneath our noses.
Nobody wanted to be reminded of how the world was burning with poverty and crime was at an all-time high. People didn’t want to hear about impoverished nations struggling to feed their children. They wanted to live in their tiny bubbles thinking everything was fine.
“I still don’t like you taking those pills. They can be addictive and I don’t want you to go down that road. It’s my fault for introducing you to my supplier,” She lamented and I could hear her guilt dripping off of every word she was saying to me.
“Nobody put a gun to my head. I can stop cold turkey.” My words didn’t convey the conviction I was hoping for but she didn’t seem to notice.
“I hope that’s true, I know from personal experience how hard it is to give up the crutch. I guess I wouldn’t have met Michael without the need to find help, though. He let me know I wasn’t alone and we battled the addiction to painkillers together. You never know when you’re going to find that one person to complete you. I never thought it was going to happen to me but it did. I really hope this date goes well,” She reiterated and we cut our conversation short when I heard Michael bellowing at the top of his lungs.
Being a study of human nature gave me an unfair insight into the human mind. Pickup lines never worked on me, I was always wise to their plan to get into my pants. Some women found it adorable but I wasn’t of the same sentiment. Those gentlemen that wanted to spend time with me for no other reason than to get to know me were rare but there were always exceptions to the rule.
I was still kicking myself for pushing Nathan away when he wanted to extend the intimacy of our friendship to a different level. He was my rock and confidant, someone of the opposite sex who wasn’t gay. I knew for quite some time he harbored feelings for me but I hoped it was a phase he was going through. He finally confessed a few months ago, telling me in the next breath he was offered a lucrative position in Dubai teaching English.
I knew what he wanted me to say. The only way he was going to give up his dream was to hear me profess my love. Unfortunately, I didn’t have those same feelings and gave him my blessing to find his path without me. We still stayed in contact but it wasn’t the same as having him right there in front of me. He was the only one to know about the voices and he never judged me.
He actually joked that I might have multiple personalities but I was afraid of how close to the truth he really might be. The voices started when I was 16. They were the main reason why I found myself pursuing a career in psychology. Dreams had hidden and underlying meanings. The symbolism of the wolf present in most of my dreams was an endless study. Some claimed it was about strength but it invoked terror in my heart.
I wandered up the street listening to the buskers performing for the crowds. It was their lifeblood and I could tell they felt embarrassed but there were those doing it because of their need to be heard. Those were the ones I gravitated toward, trying to make their big break by becoming noticed. Their main concern was financial independence from those who said they couldn’t do it.
My high heels made it hard to balance, I was trying something different for the sake of leaving a lasting impression. I knelt and placed a ten dollar bill in his guitar case with his music becoming a melody playing over and over again in my head. He was performing a concert with enthusiasm but he was different than all the others.
Shadow was a favorite among the locals and being blind had most people wondering how he had the gift to strum those strings with such grace. The man was a shimmering light in the darkness with his lyrics quite memorable. There was always a message of hope. That message was vastly lacking in today’s society.
“It’s all I have for today but I will be back tomorrow at this same time. It’s too bad you can’t see the smiles you put on everybody’s faces,” I told him. The music stopped and he reached out abruptly to take my face in his hands and I didn’t try to stop him.
“We are all prisoners of our own shadows. Don’t let anybody extinguish your light. You have this unspoken beauty and strength you don’t want to talk about. Alyssa, you have been one of my greatest supporters and you have no idea how much it has meant to me. In the coming days, you’re going to have to remain strong and vigilant. I don’t want you to let anybody corrupt your beliefs. I don’t normally break out my New Orleans heritage but my grandmother always told me I had the gift to see past the façade.” He had dark skin but I couldn’t see behind the dark glasses to see into the windows of his soul.
His long dark hair was a dirty mess of locks but he wasn’t looking for pity. Just the touch of his hand made me feel connected to him. His threadbare green army jacket signified that he was a veteran at a different time in his life. His hands were grizzled and hardened by manual labor but his love was his music.
“There are more things on earth unexplainable that nobody wants to talk about. I appreciate the advice and I will take it into consideration. I’ve always been fascinated by other cultures including their beliefs and food. New Orleans has a rich history spanning back centuries with old world architecture. It’s on my list of destinations to visit at my earliest convenience. You do make a compelling case for putting it at the top of my list.” He was still touching me, basically getting a portrait to satisfy his curiosity.
He stepped back nodding his head and picked up his guitar, with his fingers moving to the strings.
I was walking across to the other side but something wasn’t right. The message coming from my eyes had me becoming a deer in the headlights. There was a vehicle coming from down the alley and the driver was pressing the accelerator instead of slowing down.
I was going to become road kill.
Chapter Three
The car was speeding toward me with the metal grill gleaming in a threatening gesture. The exhaust was putrid and I couldn’t seem to move from where I was standing frozen to the pavement. Its wheels were spinning with burnt rubber.
I could feel sweat dripping out of every pore of my body.
