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But Marcus didn’t even seem to have heard her at all. “He wanted me to be like him, but I’m not and I’m doing this to prove it to him – to myself—-”
Raquel began to laugh crazily. “You’re insane.”
“I’m also doing this,” Marcus said tautly, “to prove him wrongabout you.”
Silence.
Marcus’ fists clenched against his sides. “Because he was wrong about you, too.”
“Spare me the bullshit.”
But he ignored this, saying tautly, “He tried to destroy you the way he tried to destroy me. That’s why—-” He inhaled sharply. “I want you to know I’m not blaming you for anything that happened. None of it was your fault.”
But his mother remained unspeaking, her gaze cold and unyielding.
Even knowing he was risking rejection – and it was likely, for there was never a time she had accepted him – he found himself moving towards her, wanting to be closer, unable to keep himself from hoping.
Just one small sign.
One goddamn sign.
Any sign would do.
He just wanted to see in her eyes the mother she once was to him.
When Marcus reached her bedside, she asked coldly, “Is this the part where you’d say you forgive me?”
“No—-”
“Good,” Raquel snapped, “because I wasn’t going to ask one.”
“As you shouldn’t,” Marcus returned steadily, “because there is nothing to forgive. None of it was your fault.” He inhaled heavily, saying, “I just wish it hadn’t taken me so long to realize this.I’m sorry—-”
No.
Something inside of Raquel started to break, a brittle layer that had built over the years, toughening her up to allow her to survive – but at the cost of what?
No.
Something inside of her struggled to be free, a love that she had buried and thought long gone – but did she still deserve to feel such a thing now?
No.
Damn him. Damn him.She didn’t want this. Why couldn’t Marcus leave things well enough alone? Why did he insist on talking of things that everyone knew was black and white?
His father was dirty. She was dirty. He was dirty.
Why couldn’t he just fucking accept that?
Fury like no other started to fill Raquel, and she gathered all her strength to force herself up.
“Let me help you.”
Marcus’ offer came at no surprise. Her son had always been a helpful little boy, and she had been expecting it. She let him help her sit up, and when he pulled away, that was when she struck him hard on the face, enough to have his head snap to the side.
“Don’t ever come here again.”
She watched him straighten, and when he turned to look at her again there was so much pain in her son’s eyes—-
