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I’m in the neighborhood. Can I swing by to talk to you?
“What the fuck?” I mutter quietly to myself.
Why?
I have something to ask and I don’t want to do it over the phone.
Sure, I guess.
Just meet me out front.
I reply with a simpleK.
I know why she won’t come inside, and I can’t say I blame her. Charlie has only met my mother a couple of times, and it wasn’t a pleasant experience for her. I’d avoid her, too, if I could.
Five minutes later, I’m sitting on the low wall around the garden up front as Charlie pulls up. When she gets out of the car, I immediately realize this might be the first time she and I have been alone since she officially started dating my dad. Although she’s not the same person she was back then.
When we dated, Charlie was walking chaos. Her mood, her style, her personality. All of it was on a whim, as if she woke up a different person every day, and no matter how hard I tried to predict what she wanted or who I was dating, she changed.
But as she gets out of the car tonight, I do something I haven’t done in a very long time. I think back to when we first met and how hard I fell for her big, bright smile and infectious personality. I thought she was a beacon, and if I just followed her lead, I would have it all figured out. It didn’t take long before we both realized that neither of us had it figured out and it was clear she thought she could followmylead. Which is why we were a mess.
“Hi,” she says with an awkward wave. Oh, so she can tell how weird this is too. Good. It’s not just me, then.
“Hi,” I reply grimly.
“I’ll make this short, but I just wanted to come over to ask you to please just go easy on your dad.”
“What?” I must be really high because I swear she just askedmeto go easy onhim.
“You heard me, Beau. Your little outburst at the party has been bugging him for the past two days. I know this is hard on you, but you’ve had your chance to get over it. Don’t ruin this for him now.”
A laugh escapes my lips, and yeah…I’m high as fuck, so it doesn’t stop. It turns into cheek-burning giggles, and I have to wipe the tears away from my eyes. When I do, I see Charlie glaring back at me.
“Are you high?” she asks with accusation.
“Yes, but that’s none of your business. You’re not my girlfriend anymore.”
She rolls her eyes, and I know, deep down, I’m acting like a child, but it’s my default. Don’t men mature slower anyway? Or something like that?
“Unless you want to play my stepmom now?” I ask, laughing again.
“What are you doing, Beau?” Her tone is so serious it kills my buzz.
“Why do you care, Charlie? Or should I say…Charlotte?” I ask, mocking my dad’s stoic tone when he calls her that. “What’s wrong? I wasn’t bossy enough for you? I didn’t make you kneel and treat you like a dog and call you a good girl enough?” My tone is full of humor, but my words aren’t funny. I know that. I’m immature and high, not stupid.
Her arms are crossed, and I sense something in her facial expression change, a hint of hurt coloring her features.
“I don’t understand you,” she replies sadly. “What do you get from hurting me? And not just tonight…but our entire relationship? You always tried to bring me down. It’s not about how your dad treats me. It’s how he values me. You can dress that up in any kink you want, but that’s all I ever wanted. I wish you could find that, Beau.”
As she turns to get back into her car, I feel the need to have the last word. And it doesn’t even make sense, at least not to her. So I don’t know why I feel the need to shout it. But I do.
“I’m nothing like you, Charlie,” I say, but she doesn’t respond. She looks like a wounded puppy in a rush to return to her owner, who will no doubt pat her head and make her feel all the warm gooey things I can’t.
But before she leaves, she stops and stares at me over the top of her car.
“It would be amazing if you could just surprise me, Beau. You wouldn’t believe how much he wants you there, even if he knows you’ll make him regret it. He loves you so much, and I’ll never hold a bigger place in his heart. That belongs to you, and you don’t even want it.”
With that, she slips into the driver’s seat and backs out of the driveway. I sit out here for a long time after she’s gone, replaying every stupid word I uttered as I slowly start to sober up. And the only thing I realize, as I start to head up toward the house, is that I amnothinglike Charlie. She is perfect and obedient and she loves to be told so.
