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I wanted to chase after him, spring into his arms, confident he’d catch me.
Don’t go, I’d whisper. Let’s be together all day.
“Candace,” I murmur.
“Yeah?” she says, not looking up from her task.
“I was wondering, what happens to these dogs if….”
“If nobody takes them?”
I nod, swallowing, wondering if hearing some nasty – but sometimes, sadly, necessary – truths will reshape how I feel about Dominic. And yet I’m not sure anything could do that short of him abusing someone or an animal or cheating on me.
Cheating on me?
We’re not even together.
But I know, if we were, he’d never do that. He’d be as loyal as me.
Or maybe that’s just more crush-based wishing.
So much for being immature.
“They stay here until we can find a permanent home for them,” Candace says “Dominic has a strict no-kill policy. He invests a lot in outreach and has made connections with refugees for the more difficult dogs. It means we take in fewer, but Dominic doesn’t have it in him to hurt an animal.”
My heart expands even more. It’s like I’m looking for reasons to dislike him, to convince myself that longing for my best friend’s dad is a mistake, but I can’t.
“Maybe it’s because of his old job,” I murmur, moving to another section of Gizmo.
He’s relaxing a little now, slumping in my lap.
“It’s possible, but he never talks about that much. At least not here. All I know is a dog lover can spot another dog lover. And Dominic definitely is one.”
Don’t say it, I scream silently, but then I’ve already done it. The words are out of my mouth.
“I bet it makes meeting women pretty easy for him.”
I laugh as if I’ve just told a joke, though there’s no setup, no punchline – just a fishing line cast into the conversation.
“I don’t know about that,” Candace says. “Since his wife’s passing, I haven’t seen Dominic date much.”
There’s the other issue, slapping me right in the face. Dominic had a wife, a life…my best friend is proof of that.
I’ve got no idea about the inner workings of Dominic’s marriage, but I assume it must’ve been happy since Lizzy has never mentioned the opposite.
“Maybe he’s never gotten over her,” Candace says and then seems to catch herself. “But we shouldn’t be gossiping about him.”
“No, you’re right. I’m sorry I brought it up.”
We go on with the brushing, and then it’s time for the next round of dogs.
“I’ll show you how to clip their nails soon,” Candace tells me. “But for now, just watch me.”
I do…and carefully.
I stand close enough to see everything but not close enough to bother her. It’s difficult to get my mind to focus. It’s like an unruly dog, leaping here and there, distracted by everything, with no master.
Except that’s not quite right. I’m not distracted by everything, just Dominic.
And my master is my attraction to him, getting stronger the more time I spend with him, the more I learn.
I only arrived yesterday. I only saw him this morning.
But I can’t stop it, can’t pretend I don’t care.
Later, I was in the communal yard when two dogs started fighting.
It’s a German Shepherd and a Beagle, the Beagle lashing out, barking deeply, and then leaping at the German Shepherd.
I run over, waving my hands. “Stop it! Enough!”
But the dogs ignore me, the Beagle latching onto the German Shepherd’s neck, getting a big mouthful of thick fur.
I wave my hands, even more, trying to get their attention.
Then Candace comes jogging past me, her voice firm, loud. “No.”
The dogs pause for a moment, and that’s when Candace skillfully slips the tool into the beagle’s mouth.
She pushes it to the back – as gently as she can be, considering the circumstances – and when the Beagle bit down on the tool, she turns the dog away.
At the same time, she points a firm finger at the German Shepherd.
“No more. It’s over. Done.”
She leads the Beagle – still biting the tool – to the edge of the yard and then grabs a leash and quickly affixes it to the collar.
It all happened so fast. Before I know it, both dogs have been taken to separate parts of the shelter, and Candace has returned, smiling gently at me.
“Don’t feel bad,” she says.
She must be able to read the feelings swelling inside of me.
I shake my head, meaning to act like it’s no big deal. But then there are tears in my eyes, even as I try to force them away.
Maybe forcing them away is the reason they spring so readily.
It’s like everything combines – leaving Mom, betraying Lizzy, the fact Dominic would never feel the same – and erupts into this one moment. There’s so much twisting inside of me.
“Danni,” Candace says, placing her hand on my shoulder. “Seriously, you don’t have to be upset. Dogs fight sometimes. You haven’t had the proper training yet, which is why you weren’t in the yard alone. It’s fine.”
