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My hand blindly sought Conor’s, and though he didn’t realize the epiphany I’d just had, his fingers knotted with mine immediately. Like always, he squeezed twice. Just two pulses, but they were our code.
I love you.
God, I wanted what Lorelei and Dagger had—with Conor.
No one else.
Suddenly, it made sense to me why I’d never needed another guy for anything but fucking and why I’d used men for sex and had abused their eagerness to screw me to get what I wanted.
I’d been waiting.
For my Dagger.
But someone who was uniquely meant for me.
Conor O’Donnelly.
“Look what you’ve done,” Savannah spat at her twin sisters, breaking into my epiphanic moment.
Paris doubled down on that by releasing a sob and shooting away from the table, Aspen scuttling after her, leaving us in their wake.
Lorelei had turned her face into Dagger’s belly, but I still heard her loud and clear when, in the deafening aftermath, she hissed, “I bet that makes you happy, Star. Seeing our family torn apart—”
“Mom!” Savannah and Camden argued at the same time.
“Lorelei,” Dagger chided, but he continued petting her hair as if she were a dog that needed stroking to calm her down.
“That’s uncalled for,” Conor rumbled.
My brow furrowed at the blatantly unfair accusation. “Not particularly,” was all I said, reaching for my glass of wine with my free hand. “I take no joy in your misery, Lorelei. Not when I’ve always considered your family to be mine too.”
She sniffed and turned her angry gaze on me. “If that’s the truth, then why is this the first time I’ve heard from you in years?”
“Serving overseas and then being undercover in the CIA wasn’t conducive to weekly phone calls with my father’s girlfriend,” I murmured, aware my words had more of a bite than before. “Then there was the little problem of being locked up in a cage in Lebanon—my owner didn’t allow me to make phone calls back home either.
“And, afterward, when I was bought and was forced to fuck for food, Lorelei, you weren’t my priority then, either.
“And if you’re asking why I haven’t called in the years since I escaped captivity, then that’s probably because I’ve been focused on bringing down a global trafficking-slash-terrorist organization that has infiltrated every government on the planet.
“Throw in the fact that I knew you’d give me this welcome, it’s safe to say I didn’t feel like reaching out.
“And, hell, phones and emails work both ways. I don’t remember you reaching out to me.”
To punctuate my speech, I let go of Conor’s hand, placed the wine glass beside the table setting, picked up my cutlery, and carefully settled a bite of chicken in my mouth.
As I chewed, Dagger staggered around the table and took a seat where Paris had been. Once he swiveled to look at me, his hand moved to my shoulder. “That really happened to you, Star?” he rasped, his tired eyes crinkling at the corners in concern.
“No, Dad, she just thought she’d make it up,” Camden snapped.
Dagger blinked. “I-I didn’t realize. I just thought you were like Casey.”
Curiosity had me asking, “And how was my mom?”
He swallowed. “Flighty. Never able to settle. It’s one of the reasons we were so often on tour when you were youngsters.”
“I used to think she was encouraging your dad to tour because of the money we earned. The record company got the bulk of the royalties from record sales, but the band picked up the lion’s share for ticket sales,” Lorelei admitted, her voice low as she studied me as if I were a freak at the circus.
I speared her with a glower and jabbed a finger in the air. “That is not why I told you what happened to me. I don’t need your pity, Lorelei.”
