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It’s been a week since he messaged me and told me a little bit more about himself… Totally unprompted. For the first time, Cade shared himself with me, and while I appreciate that, it feels like too little, too late. Maybe, the fact that he can tell such a big lie to me, that he isn’t above using his friendship with my brother to get to me, is a little too much for me. Of course, it’s wrong that he did it, but that he would go that far to keep me in his life is… Mindboggling, and maybe, even a little flattering. I shake my head.What’s wrong with me? Have I spent so much time with him that I accept, and in fact, expect that him doing what any normal person in a relationship would do is his way of going above and beyond and showing his devotion to me?
I put away the phone, which I was gazing at, in the hope of hearing from him. Which is stupid. I didn’t reply to his messages, and he went silent. I know he’s not on tour because the news is full of stories about how he was injured and temporarily stepped down from his duties as Captain of the English cricket team. There was no mention of the reason for his injuries. And his social media feeds haven’t been updated. Guess Zara didn’t find anyone else to take on my role.
I noticed some angry comments on his last post from fans who were upset he hadn’t joined the team on tour, which was to be expected. Maybe, I should have texted him back? That way, he’d keep in touch with me, and I’d know more of what he’s up to.Which, let’s be honest, I shouldn’t care about anyway.I pick up the phone, then set it down.Nope, not what I should do.Not when I’m still angry with him. He misconstrued my texts as my opening a channel of communication with him—as I predicted he would, but stupidly forgot—and I’m still not sure what I want.
I shut my laptop, walk over to the bed, and glance at the small park opposite Penny’s apartment. The late afternoon sun slants into my eyes, and I blink. When my vision clears, I notice a man standing on the sidewalk that borders the park. The width of his shoulders, his height, the way he holds himself—I swallow. It’s Cade. He’s wearing jeans, with a black jacket hugging his muscular physique, and he’s staring up at me. I push back from the window and squeeze my fingers together.What is he doing here?Of course, he knows where I am, as he’s been sending me flowers. Still, I hadn’t expected him to turn up right outside my window. I stand there for a few seconds, then lean forward and peak out the window. He’s still there, gazing up at the window. He hasn’t moved an inch, either. His features seem to be chiseled from marble, and his entire body could have been carved from granite. His cap shadows his features, hiding his identity somewhat, but there’s no mistaking that square jaw, those high cheekbones. And his eyes. Oh, god, even from this distance, his mis-matched eyes glitter with that vital force I associate with him. Strong, vibrant, alive. That’s how I see him. And I’ve missed him. I didn’t realize how much I’ve missed him until now.
I push back from the window and return to my seat in front of the computer. If I see him, I’m going to get weak, and I can’t let that happen. This ismylife. I need to figure out a way to live it onmyterms.Notmy father’s terms,notmy fake-fiancé’s terms, butmyterms. I need…to understand who I am, and until I do… I cannot even entertain the thought of someone else in my life.
I focus on the email I’m composing, then the phone-calls I need to make. The project to promote Ava’s dance studio is going really well. Thanks to my efforts, her client list has doubled in the weeks I’ve been working on her account, and that is huge. It shows I can really make a difference with my work. Not that I didn’t know before, but doing this on my own is so very satisfying. I can quantify exactly what I’m getting out of what I put in, which is much more difficult when you’re part of a team on an account.
Of course, it was just as satisfying being Cade’s social media manager. Considering he hasn’t bothered much with his social feeds, the posts I put up continue to get traction. For someone who’s so high profile, thanks to his position as captain, not to mention the sponsorships he has, he has a very cavalier attitude when it comes to his own profile. In a way, that’s his appeal. He cares about the money—of course, he does—but he doesn’t give a damn what people think of him. He might be brusque and impolite, but he’s never hidden what he is. He’s never tried to mask his personality. Which is a positive, right? I rise to my feet and stretch.
The sound of the door unlocking reaches me. Penny walks in.
"Hey, you." I blink. "What time is it?"
"It’s eight p.m."
Whoa! I glance out the window to see it’s dark. "Didn’t notice time passing."
"Hmm…" She looks at me strangely.
"What?"
"Did you, by any chance, look out the window?"
I blink, then rush to the window, slowing down as I reach it. I flatten my body to the side then peek around the frame. "Oh, wow, he’s still there."
"You mean, he’s been there for a while?"
"I saw him when I peeked out earlier, which was a few hours ago. I thought he’d be gone by now."
"So, he’s just been standing there all this time?"
I raise a shoulder.
"What does he want?"
"I don’t know; I haven’t asked him." I throw up my hands.
“At least, it’s a quiet street. It might buy us a little time before the paps find out he’s keeping vigil outside your bedroom window,” Penny offers.
There’s a flash of lightning just then. I glance sideways to find rain pattering against the windowpanes. "Shit."
"Indeed."
The silence stretches, then I glance at her again. "Now what?"
She looks at the window, then back at me. “It’s raining.”
"I noticed." I lock my fingers together.
"You’re going to let him stay out there?"
"Thought you didn’t like him?"
"I don’t like how he treated you…but…" She tilts her head.
