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He was conflicted. He wanted to do what was best for Brody and me. But how could I ask him to stay if it wasn’t the right decision for Brody?
My heart broke all over again. I should have known it was too good to be true. I couldn’t handle the what ifs. My mind fell back on what happened with Seth—he’d walked away. Hadn’t I learned this lesson?
I moved toward the door, the familiar cold shell closing around my heart. “Let me know when you have the answers.”
“Abby, I want to be there for you. This isn’t whatever you’re thinking. I have some things to work out first.”
“I understand. There’s more to think about besides myself.”
“You’re right. There’s our baby to think of.” He moved closer to cover my stomach with his hand. “I can’t believe there’s a tiny person in there.”
“He or she is a peanut at this point.” I smiled at him, forgetting my worries for a few seconds.
Something passed between us. An understanding, a promise—something I’d always longed for but was too afraid to think was possible for me.
Could I have it all if I just let go? Could I have love and a man by my side?
Nick moved closer resting his forehead on mine. “I love you.”
“I love you too.”
Then he stepped back. Not kissing me or touching me again. “Take care. Let me know if you or the baby need anything.”
He seemed to soften whenever he spoke about our baby. It gave me hope.
Whatever he needed to take care of needed to come before we had any further discussion about us or our baby. Or at least that’s what it seemed.
Twenty-Six
NICK
Ethan drove Brody and me to the detention center where Austin was being held pending his trial. It was better that Brody see him there than in prison. I’d imagine that would be harder for him.
“You ready for this?” Ethan asked as he parked the car in the lot.
I shifted in my seat, so I could see Brody’s face. “I am. How about you, bud? You can wait here with Ethan if you want.”
He looked a little pale as he took in the large gray building. “I want to see Dad.”
But his voice was uncertain, wavering slightly.
“You don’t have to do this.” I didn’t want to force him. I wanted it to be his decision. That’s what the counselor had said to do. Leave it up to him.
A look of determination came over his face. “I want to talk to him.”
“You can, but then I want to have a word with him.”
“I know,” Brody said, exasperation seeping into his tone.
I’d already gone over it with him several times. It was more a result of my anxiety about Brody seeing Austin in jail than anything else. After exchanging a look with Ethan, I got out.
I’d prepared Brody for the security protocols, the guards, and the locked doors. It was nothing I’d ever want Brody to experience. I hadn’t prepared him for the gray walls and the stale air.
We went through several locked doors until we were brought to a small room for visitors. A guard stood nearby as Austin was brought in.
He looked smaller somehow in the jumpsuit. He’d lost weight.
“Dad?” Brody asked, unsure how to greet him.
