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I moved to the porch, giving them the yard.
Nick stood in the doorway, his shoulder resting on the frame.
“I’m sorry if we interrupted your evening,” I said, my voice a little breathless. Why was it so hard to get a full breath?
“We just did homework.”
“I haven’t even checked to see if Hunter has any. Although he usually does it before the bus gets home.” Thankfully, homework was light in second grade.
“Brody struggles a little, so we sit down and go over everything in his folder.”
I smiled at the image. “He doesn’t fight you?”
Nick shook his head, chuckling. “Oh, he does. He’s not used to anyone coming behind him to make sure he did what he was supposed to.”
“I’m sure it’s a learning curve for both of you.”
Nick looked at me, his expression open. I read everything he wasn’t saying. He was trying to be a good father.
“It’ll get better. That’s what I told myself when Seth left.” After what we’d shared, I felt like I owed him more of my past.
Nick must have sensed my anxiety. “We don’t need to talk about that if you don’t want—”
I shook my head. “No. It’s okay. You deserve to know. We went through infertility. Seth wanted a child. No one goes through treatments if they don’t want that.”
It had taken months of therapy for that fact to sink in.
Nick remained silent, letting me work through my thoughts.
“His issues with his father were bigger than I knew.”
“You won’t let anyone get close because you’re protecting Hunter.”
I sucked in a breath. “That’s exactly it.”
He nodded solemnly. “I get it.”
I waited for him to attempt to change my mind, but he didn’t. He fell silent until Brody called him over, so he could be the catcher.
I watched him with the boys. His gentle guidance. His reminders to use good form, to take their time, and to make sure they were set before they made good throws. He was patient with them and so good with them.
It hit me like a ball to the gut, knocking the wind out of me. Nick was the dad I imagined for my child when I got married to Seth. I never thought he’d leave. That he’d shirk his responsibilities. I’d always wanted to be a mother, so his betrayal was that much worse. Plus, it blew my confidence in my judgment. Could I pick the right guy? The one who’d stick by my side?
I had no confidence in myself when it came to relationships. So it didn’t matter how amazing the evening was with Nick, I couldn’t let myself fall for him. It would be so easy, but the outcome had the potential to blow my life up again. And there was no way I’d risk that.
They played until dusk when Nick declared it was too dangerous to keep playing. Besides, the boys needed showers and to get to bed.
“Thanks for inviting us over,” Nick said as I followed him through the house to the front door.
“That was all Hunter.” I wasn’t sure why I clarified that point. It was true, but I couldn’t deny the jump in my pulse or my accelerated heart rate when I texted the invitation.
I thought it might be awkward after what we’d shared that afternoon, but it hadn’t been. The boys went through the front door, leaving it hanging open.
Nick checked to make sure they stayed in the front yard before turning back to me. “I still need to look at your books.”
The way he spoke with his gaze taking me in from head to toe had me heating up. He’d been that intense when he’d come over that afternoon. He’d clearly reined himself in with the boys there.
“I don’t do any administrative things over the weekend. I have events, and I like to spend as much time with Hunter as I can. Are you free next week?”
