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“Are you going to?”
I shook my head. “I don’t think so. I don’t want him to see his father like that. But I’ll talk to his counselor and see what she says.”
I had a feeling she’d encourage him to see his father at some point. Whenever Brody was ready. I wasn’t sure I’d be ready. I wanted to stay far away from him.
“That’s hard.”
“What do you want to do with Hunter’s dad?”
She chuckled without any humor. “I want to tell him to fuck off. He hasn’t even been paying child support. The amount he’s ordered to pay doesn’t put a dent in what Hunter needs to live.”
“What are you going to do about it?” I wanted to support her but not sway her decision. It was important she made it on her own.
“I think I want to talk to an attorney.”
“Not a bad idea. Get their advice.”
“I want to insulate Hunter from everything, but I know that’s unrealistic.”
“You’re a great mom.”
She smiled tremulously. “I don’t know about that.”
“You continually impress me. I don’t know anyone stronger.” The way she’d gone on after her ex left her was impressive.
I cupped her cheek, and she leaned into it. I took a deep breath, wishing I could press for more with her. But I didn’t want to be like her ex, bulldozing her to get what I wanted. She needed to realize it on her own.
“Dad, you coming? We need a catcher.”
I stepped back from Abby and glanced outside to see Brody still in the backyard. He hadn’t seen us, but he could have.
“I should get going,” Abby said, stepping toward the doorway. “Thanks for watching him.”
“Anytime, Abby.” I didn’t want her turning to her ex. I wanted to be the one she counted on. Even as the voice in my head reminded me I wasn’t necessarily staying in town. If Austin was sentenced to a long prison term, it might not be the place for him.
“I’ll send you pictures. Let you know how it’s going.”
Her shoulders relaxed as she smiled over her shoulder. “Thank you for doing this.”
I wanted to promise her everything, but that was all I could offer at the moment. I touched her lower back. “I’ve got Hunter. You can relax and do your job.”
The muscles under my fingers relaxed.
“Thank you. I really appreciate it.”
I knew how hard it was for her to ask and receive help, so I was pleased she trusted me.
Watching her walk away and get into her SUV, I wanted to grab on to her and hold her tight with both hands, but it wasn’t an option.
I closed the door and headed to the kids in the backyard.
There was no one saying I had to move, other than my anxiety that Brody wouldn’t fit in if his father was sentenced to a long prison term. But wasn’t I doing the same thing as Abby? I was bending to the will of another, morphing my life to please someone else. When did I get the future I wanted? The possibility of having everything I wanted pierced my heart. I wasn’t even sure what that was.
Buying a home in Annapolis? Moving away from Austin’s reputation? Having Abby and Hunter in my life?
Not having an answer, I grabbed my glove and tried to shake off the uncomfortable feeling that my thinking was fundamentally flawed. Crouching behind home plate, I focused on Hunter. I needed to pay attention, so I didn’t get hit in the face. Hunter’s fastball was only getting harder and faster. I needed to be present with the boys, not wonder about the what-ifs.
A bitter thought passed through my mind when Hunter did his windup. I’d never had to worry about the future because it was decided for me. I quit baseball because Austin needed me. I moved to Annapolis because Brody needed me. Maybe it was time to eliminate the external influences.
