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Usually, I can keep myself one step removed from whatever they’re telling me, but listening to Lee tell me about his childhood makes my chest tighten. My family had its financial struggles, but at least my mom was present in my life.
“I’m sorry, Lee. That must’ve been very difficult.” I set his leg down but stay where I am.
“Yeah, it sucked. I don’t even know why I’m complaining—it was so long ago.”
I rest my hand on his good shoulder and give it a small squeeze. “I think something like that probably never leaves you.”
“Yeah, I guess. You know, I’ve never told anyone that before.” He scrubs his hand down his face and I let my hand drop from his shoulder.
“Your secrets are safe with me.”
He turns his head and meets my eyes. “I know. That’s probably why I’m so comfortable talking to you.”
Some brief and unnamed emotion passes between us, and I look away and step back as if I’ll get burned if I get too close. “We should finish up.”
He clears his throat. “Yeah.”
Thankfully, there are no more confessions during our session; otherwise, my heart might have started opening for Lee again, and that would be a complete disaster.
Twenty-One
Lee
Another week passes and the team loses to Carolina. I’m more desperate than ever to get back to QB1, but on the other hand, I love the one-on-one time I’m spending with Shayna.
Ever so slowly, her guard is coming down and she’s opening up to me. Maybe not as much as she did in college—she still pulls away sometimes when she thinks we’re getting too close—but we’ve transitioned to a place where she’s not haunted by the past every time she looks at me anymore.
My MRI on Monday showed that things are progressing well and the small tear on my rotator cuff is healed, but my AC joint still isn’t completely ready. Which means yet another week I’m stuck on the bench instead of where my team needs me.
“This is so fucking frustrating.” I’m bent over, doing one of the exercises Shayna gave me.
“Hey.” She bends too so she’s at my eye level. “Progress is progress. You’re almost there. You just need to be patient and keep putting in the work. The payoff will come.”
“I’m so sick of everyone telling me to be patient. I’ve been fucking patient.”
She straightens and sets her hands on her hips. “You need to stop whining. Your rotator cuff is fine. You have full range of motion back in your shoulder. Now we just need to let it heal some more while we work on increasing the load the joint can take without reinjuring it.”
I straighten up. “All I hear you saying is that I’m going to be useless for yet another week.”
“Check the attitude, Lee.”
“Wouldn’t you have an attitude if you were in my position?” My voice comes out louder than I intend, and her lips thin and the crease between her eyebrows deepens.
“Actually, I think I’d be thankful I didn’t need surgery, and that the tear on my rotator cuff was healed, and that I haven’t had any setbacks, but hey, that’s just me.” She throws her arms in the air as though she’s totally exasperated with me.
“That’s pretty easy to say when you’re on the sidelines.”
She steps forward, her hands fisted at her sides. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You don’t know what it’s like to be the star of the show and disappoint everyone counting on you.”
She guffaws. “Of course, because I’m just the lowly therapist, right?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“But that’s what you meant.”
My frustration is close to boiling over. “Don’t put words in my mouth.”
