AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“You’ve hardly made me feel welcome,” I point out.
“You’re trembling.” He says it as though it’s a good thing. It’s not malicious as such, but he’s hardly concerned for my well being. “You’re not a good liar. You’re not even a good actress, Lucinda Waldgrave. I don’t know why Nix thinks you are. You are nothing but a scared little rich girl who’s only famous because of the people she surrounds herself with. Is that right? The photographers, the fashion designers, the dressers, the management, the lackeys. It’s all a lie, but you are merely the puppet, doing what Daddy tells you. Isn’t that right, Lucinda?”
I flinch as he moves toward me. He’s so close I can feel his hot breath on my cheek. He smells like cologne. Just like my disguise, that’s his. I can’t see him, but he could be anyone, covering up who he really is. I know almost nothing about him, but from the few interactions we’ve had, I get the feeling he’s as trapped as I am. Trapped in the fake world his parents have brought him up in, just as I was. In different circumstances, we could be friends instead of a captor and the thirty million dollar meal-ticket he thinks I am.
“Call me a puppet all you like, but I’m not the one too scared to drop anything on the floor in case it stains the carpet. I’m not the one threatening a blind woman to make themselves feel big. You don’t even know me and yet you think you are better than me. I might be the blind one, but even I can see how small you think of yourself and how much you have to lord it over others to feel like the big man.” I steel myself for a slap. Standing up to Dacre has terrified me and my whole body is shaking, but I’m determined not to show the fear. They already think they can do what they want with my body. I’m not going to let them think they are in my head too.
His hand tightens around my wrist. “You aren’t welcome here. I don’t know why you think you should be. I cannot wait for the second this is all over, so I don’t have to look at your face ever again.”
He’s been an angry bastard all day since he thought I was a hooker, but this is something else. I can almost feel the heat emanating from him as he lets out a low grumble.
“Yeah, well, I’m the lucky one who never has to see your face. You are ugly enough to me without me having to suffer through that, too.”
My fear is at an all-time high, but I won’t let him bully me. I blink to keep the tears that are already stinging the corners of my eyes at bay. When he lets go and walks away, I let in a long breath. I fish the spoon from the counter and pour myself a bowl of cereal. I was planning to make him one, but now he can damn well make his own.
I was wrong earlier. Going out into New York on my own can’t be worse than this. Dacre doesn’t know it, but he’s cemented my resolve to escape this hell hole. Maybe I’ll get lost and maybe I’ll fail spectacularly, but at least I’ll be doing it on my own terms.
19
NIX
Sin’s face is on every channel. The news of her kidnapping has captured the interest of the nation, and I can’t fucking escape her. She’s everywhere. I turn on the TV, she’s there. I go for a walk and she’s staring down at me from every news stand. I can’t even power up my computer without her face splashed all over the internet. I bet there’s not a single fucking person on this planet that doesn’t recognize her by now. It’s been four days since we took her and three since I left Dacre’s parent’s apartment. I’ve not fucked another woman since and my throat hurts from the cigarettes I’ve gone through. So much for giving them up. Fucking Sin. She fucked up my life all those years ago, and she’s still doing it. I switch the TV off and throw the remote across the room. I should head out to classes, but Dacre will be home soon, and I want to know what the fuck’s going on. I’ve not phoned him to ask, because I don’t want him thinking I’m some needy asshole, even though that’s what I’m becoming. Sin has always been my obsession and now it’s pervading my veins. She’s in every part of me and I can’t turn her the fuck off. I don’t even want to. I couldn’t ask Mercier because he hid in his room the whole time he was back. The fucker’s done something to her and he doesn’t want me to know. I’m not naïve enough to think that he’ll heed my warning about fucking her. He was right when he said she wasn’t mine, but knowing he’s laid a hand on her has my anger igniting and blood boiling through my veins. I was glad when he sneaked out earlier, presumably to go back to her. I can’t even think about it or I’m going to do something I regret... Something else I regret. I already regret getting Mercier and Dacre involved in this. I should have gone out looking for her myself. As if on cue, Dacre walks through the door, his mouth set in a straight line.
“Hey,” he calls out, then makes to walk through the living room to the stairs.
She’s already crept into his veins. I can see it a mile off. She’s like poison and no one escapes.
“Hey, come have a beer with me,” I answer back. I won’t mention her name, but I want to know what’s going on with her. A few beers should loosen his tongue. He looks like he’d rather not and it hurts me how she’s managed to come between us already. Before she came back, Dacre wouldn’t have hesitated. Hell, he’d be the first to suggest kicking back with a beer or having a gym session together. He stops in the living room and takes a seat, dropping his bag to the floor. I can tell he’s hardly ecstatic about it, but I’ll take it. I throw him a beer, which he catches, then taps a couple of times on the side so it doesn’t spurt all over him when he opens it.
“I got the internship. At Letterman’s.”
I’m happy for him. It’s all he’s talked about for months ever since he applied. “Congrats. I didn’t even know you had an interview.”
He shrugs. It’s not the expression of a man that has just had his greatest wish granted. He looks like he’s been metaphorically punched in the face. I’m itching to know if he’s fucked her, too. I don’t think he has, but he’s behaving stranger than Mercier. “I had it today. They offered me the internship on the spot.”
I suddenly understand why he looks like he’s won the lottery, then lost the winning ticket.It has nothing to do with her. Maybe I’m turning everything into something it’s not. “You’re pissed because you think they gave it to you because of your name.”
He pulls the tab on the beer and takes a long slug before answering. “It’s crossed my mind. Hundreds of people applied. It should have been harder.”
Relief floods through me when he confirms it’s not about her and I hate that I’m thinking this way. “You’re a fucking excellent student. Straight A’s all year.”
He doesn’t seem convinced. “So is everyone else that applied. There’s no reason that I should have been chosen so quickly.”
I sit forward in my chair. Dacre is the smartest of all of us and has more drive than anyone I’ve ever met. “Who gives a fuck? So what if they gave it to you because you’re a Dacre? You got the job. Lighten up.”
He scoffs. “Are you shitting me, man? You’ve been moping around here for days. How am I supposed to lighten up when we’ll probably all be in jail before I even start? I have to finish this semester before I begin the internship and the way things are going, I doubt any of us will see graduation. I’ve got to figure out a place to stay in Manhattan, finish uni and somehow keep my grades up, and that’s before I factor in learning how to be some major kingpin in the kidnapping field.”
I’ve let him down and I feel like a complete shit about it. “She’s more trouble than she’s worth. I’m sorry I got you involved. Take her back to her dick of a father. Nothing I do to her will come close to the punishment he’ll dish out to her.” Even as the words tumble out of my mouth, my rage begins to build. Rage at him for hurting her. Rage at her for hurting me. I want to be the one to hurt her. To see her face as she whimpers for her life. But I’m not hurting my best friends to quell my own selfish desires. Not anymore.
“I thought that, but we can’t,” he mutters. “If she doesn’t get what she wants, she’ll say something about us. I mean, what’s she got to lose, right? If we take her back to Waldgrave house, she’s lost her only chance at freedom and who do you think she’ll blame?”
“Fuck! Fuckety fuck.” I run my hands through my hair and reach for my cigarette packet. I curse again after finding it empty.
“So we let her go. Give her what she wants.” Letting Sin go will be the answer to all our prayers. Sure, she gets to run free again and I’m the fucking loser, but I’m not completely stupid. I’m not going to let Dacre lose everything over some fucked up grudge. I have a monster in me but my friends are ride or die.
“You’d do that?”
I don’t want to. She was lost to me once and the thought that it’s going to happen again and this time I’m going to let it has me tearing apart. The need to make her pay for what she did to me is suffocating, but this is worse.
