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The great room we stood in now was the sight of my last confrontation with Dad before I left for the Navy years ago. But I hated conjuring that memory up. “Yeah. It’s good to be back, finally. But first, do you mind if I shower and change? I’ve been in uniform all day traveling back here.”
“Of course. We set up the guest room for you on the left. It’s yours now. Take your time.”
“Thanks, Luc.” I nodded at everyone else, then hoisted my bag over my shoulder.
I set off down the hall, but Luc followed. At the door to my room, he lowered his voice. “Listen, buddy, we’re not going to see any of the difficulties you had before, right?”
Jeez, there it was. The past I couldn’t escape. I squared up as if I were called to attention and he was my captain. “No sir. Military life changed me for good. I have no intention of getting into any trouble again.”
“Good. I’m glad to hear it. Just know Jace and I are here for you, okay? Anything you need, come to us.” He patted my shoulder and left me in the room.
Shedding my Navy uniform one last time, I left it in a rumpled heap on the floor. Showering did me some good. With nothing but a new life ahead of me, I could relax now. I exited the en suite bathroom wearing only a blue towel, but hell, no one was around. I hung it up behind the door instead. After living in barracks or tents with other guys for years, a room to myself was much appreciated.
The freedom of nakedness overwhelmed me. More than skin deep, the idea of no higher-ups barking orders, no schedule immediately requiring my dutiful presence, no others to worry about was almost too much. I laid on the bed for a while…just breathing. The luxury to lie and do nothing, with no plans, no tethers, was like being in a boat drifting slowly out to sea on a glassy surface.
As if I’d been running for years, I was finally off the hamster wheel. Dad was no longer around to prove anything to. I didn’t have a past to run from, or the military with high expectations to live up to. I only answered to myself now. Trouble was, I wasn’t asking myself any questions yet.
I must have dozed off, and awoke a little later than I’d have liked. Laughter coming from the others reached my room. I jumped up, dressed, and hurried down the hall.
Jace saw me first. “There he is, looking normal already.”
“Yeah, normal as I’ll ever be.” I tugged at the hem of my rock-n-roll t-shirt and looked down at my jeans, the well-worn ones with a hole in the knee. Compared to Luc’s suave attire of black jeans and boots, and a black polo shirt with the gold Delfino Construction logo embroidered on the left chest, I looked like a hic from Hicksville. Shopping for nice clothes might be in order this week.
“Come eat before Gilda has a heart attack over the food being kept warm enough,” Jace gestured me to the table. He was always my favorite cousin, someone I could be honest with and shoot the breeze, whereas Luc took on an older, more respected role for me.
After I’d piled up a plate of food, I sat with Luc and Jace, and Hank, one of Luc’s right-hand men in the construction business. I listened to them talk business and was mildly curious about the work they did around the globe. I knew they often hired ex-military to work for them, which might be a good possibility for me. Something I’d need to keep in mind as I finish my degree.
Lily and Bella removed the Christmas lights and ornaments from a tree, adding them to a box marked for Christmas Decorations, while Emily took the baby off Bella’s hands.
“Luc, look at this sweet babe in my arms,” she called out.
He nodded. “Yup,” and turned back to us right when Gilda appeared at his side. She set up five glasses of beer on the old oak table in front of me. Her sight must have worsened because clearly only four of us sat there. She plunked shot glasses of amber whiskey beside each beer glass, nodded at us and grunted, then limped away back to the kitchen.
Luc picked up a glass. “To your dad, Thomas, the hardest mother-fucker I’ve ever known.”
“Ooh rah,” Jace barked quietly, only heard among us at the table. He picked his glass up and clinked with Luc and Hank’s and waited for me. “Go on. Pick your poison, leave the other in honor of Uncle Tom,” he encouraged.
My eyes settled on the final two glasses. I didn’t realize just how much being back in Glendale Falls would stir things up inside of me. Attempting a new life, while tethered to the old, proved more challenging. Maybe I should have started elsewhere, where the past couldn’t haunt me, but the call to be home again had begged to me for the past year.
I picked a glass up and toasted with them. “Yeah. But to you all as well. I’m glad I have family around.”
We all sipped quietly, giving a reverent nod to the past. And that would be all I’d give it. I had a future to look forward to now.
Luc broke the silence first. “So, off to college, huh? You’ll make us proud when we see you walking across the stage getting a diploma. You’ll be the first Delfino to get a degree.”
“Fuck that. You made us proud already, serving your country as a Navy SEAL. Of course, the Marines are still better,” Jace chided.
“Bullshit. The Marines would be nowhere without the Navy to get them there.” I referenced the long-standing joke between the two branches of the military and laughed with him. But he had no idea how it hit a nerve with me.
Dad was a Marine through and through. As a lifer, a Master Gunnery Sergeant at the highest rank for an enlisted man, they practically had to throw him out to get him to retire. Sure, I was proud of his service, but I’d never forget the look on his face when I told him I wasn’t going into the Marines.
In hindsight, the decision to go Navy was my teenage rebellious way of sticking it to him for all the years he was gone. Always away on some mission for his country, he missed out on so many things with me growing up, then discarded Mom like she meant nothing to him.
“What are you majoring in again?” Luc broke my thoughts and chugged the rest of his beer down.
My sigh came out louder than I intended. “Engineering, maybe? Although for this spring semester I’m easing my way into classes. Glendale College took most of my credits through the online courses I’d completed the past few years, but I still need a few general courses to meet their requirements. So I’ll take an English course, pre-calculus, shit like that.”
Jace nodded. “You don’t sound too enthusiastic. Are you sure college is what you want right now?”
