AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Smoke’s finger smooths over the bumps of my knuckles, and I love the contrast of his black, bold ink against my paler skin. “I don’t think you should forget what you also need and want. Don’t get me wrong. I love that you have this wisdom beyond your years and compassion for our child, who isn’t even born yet. I love that you’re a fighter and one heck of a lady gladiator, but I don’t want you to ever feel that what you want isn’t also important.” He swallows roughly, his throat sawing up and down with it. “I’m sorry that I hurt you. I know everyone says they were going to tell you eventually, but I truly, truly was. We were just trying to figure it out as a family first. Trying to find the right time.”
“I know. There isn’t really a right time for things like this. Not on our timeline when everything’s been condensed and sped up.”
That earns me an uncomfortable shift. Smoke reaches up and plows his hand through his hair again, rifling it in a sexy kind of way.
“I think Granny was planning on leaving me here, taking my brothers with her, and going somewhere until they can focus on the next mission. My other brother—the one you haven’t met yet—he’s kind of on vacation right now, or maybe it’s early retirement. He met someone, and they’re living a legit life with real…uh, I guess I should say normal jobs now. We all wanted to give them a chance and keep them safe from the dangers of the life we live. Before, we moved around a lot and changed our identities constantly. If anyone found out who we were, they’d want some pretty serious revenge for destroying their world, so we keep who we are a pretty tight secret. Sometimes that means the difference between walking the right side of the turd and…uh, not walking in. That’s why I couldn’t tell you.”
“I know.” I’m the one shifting now. It’s as if my butt has gone numb, and I need to work out the kinks. “I do know that. I realized it when I started to process everything. I’m also no stranger to danger. My dad has always made me fully aware that even though the club doesn’t do the kind of thing you thought it did, he still has enemies. People who don’t like bikers in town or people from the brothers’ pasts who aren’t so savory—small peanuts kind of stuff, but there are people who still might want to use me against him. His biggest fear has always been that I’d be kidnapped.”
“So when they found out who I really was, and they probably only really looked into me after they followed you and figured out you were coming to my place too regularly for their liking, they were probably extra panicked. I’m sorry for giving your dad a heart attack.”
“If you’d given him a real heart attack, he would have kicked your door down himself. He let Bunny Man do the breaking-in because he wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt, I think, and keep me safe all at the same time. You don’t know this, but Bunny Man is one of the scariest brothers. His past is…uh, what some people would call unsavory with a salting of the criminal element.”
“Hmm, sounds a little bit like mine.”
It’s rather inappropriate to laugh, but the sound comes bubbling up my throat anyway. I swallow it down, but a smile comes out, the by-product I can’t control. Smoke grins right back. It’s nice to know he can talk about this. His past, I mean. Or that he will. That he’ll share it with me. And he doesn’t take offense when I smile at what I wasn’t exactly sure was a joke. He’s serious, and so is his past, but he’s the kind of person who can sprinkle humor all over it and make it easier to swallow back and bear.
I have one other thing I need to tell him. Just one that I have to get out, and it’s not pretty. In fact, it could ruin everything if he takes it the wrong way, but I know I can’t keep it in even if pangs of fear are scouring my chest and my hands are starting to shake.
“I’m scared of messing up,” I whisper hoarsely. “It was complicated between my parents, and then my mom left.”
Smoke shakes his head. “Nope. Not happening. You’re not your mom, and I’m not your mom. I’m not my parents either, for that matter. I’m here no matter what, and I will never give up. If I were a quitter, I wouldn’t have survived, and I wouldn’t be here now. Giving in isn’t in my nature.”
My hands are still shaking, and Smoke grasps them gently. His eyes are all feral intensity, but when he leans in and places a gentle kiss on my forehead, it’s all soft, spun sugar sweetness. He’s not going to let me be ashamed of my past, and he’s not going to let the fear of abandonment carry through to our future. I want to finally, finally let that wounded little girl inside me go and trust that I’m strong now. I’m strong, I’m capable, and I would never, ever abandon my child.
