Page 28 of Into the Rain

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

LACEY HAD ANOTHER appointment with Imran today. But rather than have to spend the whole day trapped in town, waiting for Nico to finish work, or someone to give her a lift back to the house, Nico had suggested she borrow his Jeep and he would ride his motorcycle into work. Dotti wouldn’t be fixed until tomorrow, and so Lacey had reluctantly agreed to his offer. She was already imposing so much on him; she really didn’t want to take any more.

But then perhaps she’d been able to give back just a little last night. Nico had been distraught after his mother’s call. Unable to think clearly. It seemed as if Nico had needed her clinical evaluation of the events. Needed her to help him dissect the information and come up with some answers that made sense. Although nothing really made sense in his story. His father was dead. Nico had seen his flag-draped coffin being lowered into the ground. It was almost inconceivable to Nico that his father might’ve faked his own death. She could hardly grasp the concept herself. But Nico had really struggled with the hypothesis, and she’d been the one to ask all the hard questions, helping him to find a way through the hazy fog enveloping his mind.

She’d seen it happen once before, when a friend of hers in the force had been too close to the victim. A relative had been raped, and he couldn’t disassociate himself enough to be able to evaluate the facts properly. He’d gone to pieces during the investigation and his bias had led him to assault the man he believed was responsible for the rape, only to find out later he wasn’t the culprit. It was the main reason an officer was usually excused from a case where they had a personal interest.

But she found it interesting that Nico also fell into that box. Up till now she’d thought of him as without any flaws. A good detective with great deductive skills. He hadn’t said so himself—she knew he wasn’t the type to brag—but she’d asked around the precinct the day she’d been in for the interview, and Senior Constable Tyrell Jackson had been only too keen to spill the beans on his friend. Over the past two years, Nico had cracked the last two homicide cases he’d headed up, leading to the arrest and incarceration of both criminals. And he’d also been heavily involved in the team that tracked down and charged the man who’d abducted and then murdered two teenage girls down in Devonport. It was a big case, and his name had been put out there as the one who’d found the vital clue that’d lead to the killer’s arrest. The accused man was still waiting to go to trial, but everyone was convinced they’d nabbed the killer. Nico knew what he was doing. It sounded like he was a well-respected detective and had moved up the ranks quicker than most, gaining the rank of Detective Sergeant just after his thirtieth birthday.

Tyrell had been only too eager to congratulate Lacey on the way she’d thrown him to the ground the night her van had broken down. At least the bruises on Nico’s face were fading now, but she was still embarrassed whenever she saw the healing scar through his eyebrow, knowing she’d been responsible.

Lacey looked down at the set of car keys in her hand. She should probably get going, or she’d miss her appointment with Imran. But something kept her feet glued to the spot in the kitchen. She didn’t want to leave.

When Lacey had mentioned to Nico in passing that Dotti should be fixed by tomorrow, he’d raised an eyebrow, but hadn’t commented. She wished she knew what was going on in that head of his. She hadn’t told him it meant she’d also be moving on. But it was implied. Yet, he hadn’t asked her to stay.

Confusion reigned in her heart and in her body. One kiss, that was all they’d shared. One kiss wasn’t a relationship. But she couldn’t deny the sizzling attraction between them.

There was also a far less-defined need urging her to stay. The fact that Nico had confided in her about his father perhaps being alive after all these years. He’d trusted her enough to let her in on his family’s dark secret. She knew things about him now that no one else knew. It gave her a deeper insight into the man who was Nico Favreau. And it made her want to stay to help him sort out this problem. She didn’t want to abandon him in his hour of need.

This morning Nico had been back to his normal composed self. They’d talked it over and over last night, but Nico had committed to no real plan by the time they’d both gone to their separate bedrooms well after midnight. She knew what he should do if he wanted to follow up on this information and find out once and for all if any of Marco’s allegations were true. But when she’d brought up the subject this morning, he’d shrugged it off and said he needed to think about it some more. He wanted to deal with this in his own way, and she needed to respect that.

Time to head to Burnie. She gathered her jacket from the hook near the door and whistled up Smudge. The dog gave her a sour look when they went toward his kennel; he’d got used to not being tied up during the day with her around. Lacey patted Dotti affectionately on the way to the shed and Nico’s Jeep, promising the Kombi that she’d take her for a drive tomorrow, once she was good as new. The wind was blowing a gale today, and the sliver of ocean she could see from the backyard was dotted with whitecaps. The sky was clear of clouds, but had turned a brutal blue. She pulled her sheepskin jacket closer around herself, thankful when she stepped into the shed and out of the wind. Her hair was a snarl of tangles already, and she regretted not taking the time to put it into a braid. She’d had to force herself to put the jacket on this morning, telling herself that the bloodstains were gone now, remaining only in her imagination. It smelled clean, clinically so, and not at all like a well-loved piece of clothing. The jacket still reminded her of Rania, but it was her favorite and the warmest, and logically, she knew the only way to get past the anguish was to wear it until it no longer reminded her of the dead woman. Her thoughts turned to the candlelit vigil being held tonight in memory of Rania, celebrating the young woman’s life. Lacey had said she’d go, but still hadn’t completely committed to it in her own mind.

The drive took a little over half an hour. But Nico hadn’t warned her how hard it’d be to find parking in the main street. Lacey drove around for ages looking for a spot, and because she wasn’t used to driving Nico’s big Jeep, it was all the more difficult. Finally she gave up and drove around into the back streets behind the main shopping precinct where she wound down an alleyway and by some fluke found a spot in a small parking lot at the rear of the healthcare center buildings. She spotted Gabe’s little sporty MG and decided she was in the right place. This must be where the shop owners parked. Hoping she wasn’t about to get a fine for illegal parking, she locked the car and looked for a rear entrance into the building. There was a door, but it was marked as an emergency exit, so she decided to go back down the alley—jogging now because she was running late—emerging into the bustling main street again.

Imran was also running a little overtime with his current patient, so Lacey took a seat in the waiting room, running her fingers through her hair to try and tame it. There was no sign of Gabriel. He must be with a patient. Or perhaps he was off on a lunch break.

Waiting for Imran gave her time to gather her thoughts. It was interesting, but now she thought about it, she’d had so much else on her mind recently, she surprised herself by how little time she’d had to dwell on her innermost feelings.

Her PTSD hadn’t really bothered her over the past few days. Even yesterday, when she’d spent most of the day by herself, pottering around Nico’s house, she hadn’t been drawn back down into those spiraling depths of depression. Her time alone spent in the warmth and comfort of the cottage had acted as a healing balm, and it was an interesting development. Part of the reason she’d found traveling around Tasmania was good for her mental health was that she didn’t allow herself time to stop and stagnate too long in one place. She was constantly on the move, which kept her mind occupied with the small details of life on the road. This was the first time she’d had time and space without anything to do. Even after being confronted with Rania’s terrible wounds and then her death, Lacey thought she was coping quite well. She was interested to hear what Imran thought about her insights. Whether he agreed she might be finally getting stronger. Or could it be the opposite? Was this the calm before the storm? Was she actually headed on a collision course with her darkest depression yet?

Suddenly, Imran was standing in front of her, and she realized he must’ve been calling her, but she’d been so lost in thought, she hadn’t heard him.

“Sorry.” She jumped up with a guilty smile.

“Good to see you again, Lacey.” Imran shook her hand she was comforted by his warm palm on hers. Imran was good at his job. He projected a caring aura, and his dark-brown eyes were kind, but his handshake was firm, conveying a strength of character. She felt as if he would be there to catch her if she fell.

* * *

An hour later, Lacey emerged from Imran’s office, a lightness in her step. He’d given her words of cautious encouragement, telling her she was on the right path, but to be careful not to get too overconfident. His consult had done her more good than she could’ve imagined, mainly because he helped her to talk about Rania, about how her death had affected her. She was starting to see now that Cindi’s death had completely overwhelmed her because of the sheer innocence of the child, the utter unfairness of a mother taking her own daughter’s life. But she’d also been engulfed by misery because there’d been nothing she could do to save the girl.

While Rania’s death had many similarities—she’d been attacked with a knife, and was lying bleeding to death on the ground—the other circumstances were completely different. Rania was a grown woman, and while her death was terrible and senseless, Lacey didn’t get that same wholly defeating feeling of helplessness as she did when she thought about Cindi’s passing. The little girl had been so innocent. So trusting. She trusted her mother not to hurt her. And when that trust failed, she trusted that a policeman would come and save her. No one had stepped up for Cindi that day. In the end, no one had been there to save that little girl. It wasn’t fair that Cindi didn’t get to live a life filled with endless possibility. It was the unfairness of it all that’d cut Lacey’s heart in two.

But Rania was a grown woman who’d had a chance to live her life—albeit not a long one. Lacey had tried her best to save Rania, had done everything by the book; everything humanly possible. But in the end, Rania’s death hadn’t solely rested on her shoulders. Gabe had been there. And if a licensed doctor couldn’t do anything to save her, then…

This new insight gave her hope. Hope that one day she might return to the police force. That she might be able to ease herself back into working the beat. That not every violent crime she came across was going to cause her to lose her shit. Cindi would always be with her, Imran had warned her of that, but given time, she might come to a sort of truce within herself about not being able to save the young girl. Deep down, she would always blame herself, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t be of use to other people who also needed her.

Hope was a fleeting thing, Lacey knew that. But it made her feel as if there was light at the end of the tunnel.

“Excuse me,” a woman said from behind, and Lacey looked up to find she was standing at the top of the stairwell, staring into space.

“Sorry,” she apologized, stepping out of the way.

The woman gave a tight smile and descended the stairs, Lacey following in her wake. She was at a bit of a loose end now and wondered if she should pop in and see Nico. Or would he be too busy to see her? There were still hours before the candlelit vigil, and Lacey had yet to make up her mind whether to stay in town for it or head home now.

Lacey pursed her lips and tilted her head, considering her options.

She would most likely be leaving tomorrow, as long as Dotti was fixed.

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