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It was as close to Hashem as he might ever feel—the way his heart soared, and his head spun, and his heart raced.
“Please.” He wasn’t supposed to talk, mostly because it wouldn’t matter, Adriano couldn’t hear him, and being on all fours like this, he couldn’t sign. But he couldn’t stop himself from begging anyway. “Please.”
He was close. He was close. He was…
He was coming. He was fucking backward against Adriano’s face, the orgasm almost wrong because he wasn’t full enough, but he couldn’t stop it. He sobbed as Adriano plunged his tongue deeper, swirling it around, leaving him sopping wet with spit.
As he shook, Adriano laid soothing hands on his back, painting them downward with firm strokes, kissing the small of his back as he made soft, humming, soothing sounds.
“Noah,” he realized Adriano was saying. “Noah.”
Noah gathered the strength to turn, and with a sloppy, single hand signed, ‘Turn the camera off.’
Adriano didn’t hesitate. He was up in a flash, the light dimmed, then flickered out. The quiet hum that Noah always forgot to listen for was gone, and in its place was an utter absence of sound. He swallowed thickly, his breathing too loud in that shallow space.
He wasn’t done. He needed something else.
“Fuck me.” He said it, then spelled the letters on a clumsy hand. “I need you inside me.”
Adriano’s eyes were half-lidded but fierce as they watched Noah’s fingers like he couldn’t quite believe him. His hand rose to his chin, and he signed Noah’s name again.
‘Fuck me.’ Noah’s hand was stronger now and steady. He rose to his knees and turned, but not completely. Adriano’s thigh was still molten hot against his own. ‘I want you to fuck me. I need you to fuck me. I need you inside me. Come inside me.’
Adriano shivered, and for a moment of wild unease, Noah thought his plea was going to be rejected. Then Adriano let out a noise almost like a wounded animal and gathered Noah to him. He pulled Noah astride his bent thighs, back to his chest. His rock-hard cock slid between Noah’s cheeks, and Adriano’s mouth attached to the back of his neck in a painful, sucking kiss.
“Say it again,” Adriano demanded, not letting go.
Noah lifted his hands. ‘Fuck me. Come inside me.’
Adriano didn’t let Noah go. He shuffled forward, then reached for the nightstand drawer and took out lube and condoms. Noah knew it wouldn’t be bare. Adriano was a porn star, and it was the only way to be truly safe, no matter how often he was tested. And that was fine. Noah wanted it messy, but more than that, he wanted it however Adriano could take him.
Adriano’s eyes slipped shut, then he leaned in and put his mouth to Noah’s shoulder before speaking, unclear but understandable. “If you want me to stop, tap my thigh.”
Noah nodded hard enough Adriano could feel it, and he liked that Adriano trusted him enough not to open his eyes then. Noah followed him into the dark. It was soothing and calming, even though he didn’t know what was coming.
He heard the snap of the bottle, then two fingers were between his ass cheeks as a large arm wedged itself between their bodies. Adriano didn’t waste time. Noah’s hole was still spit-slick and a little open, and Adriano’s finger slid all the way in without much resistance. Noah shuddered from head to toe, his eyes still squeezed shut. He lolled his head back, and Adriano attacked his jawline with kisses as he added a second finger.
This is it, Noah thought.This is it. He wanted to think there was no going back, but that line had been crossed the moment he’d sent Adriano that first message. This was simply the inevitability—the end of that road—and maybe the beginning to another.
Bodies were made for pleasure. A rabbi at the temple had said that once when he was younger. Some of the teens were lost, and even Noah didn’t understand what he was willing to give and what he was willing to take.
Hashem gave us pleasure for a reason.
Such a simple answer. Noah knew even then he liked men, but he was too afraid to voice that. He thought it applied now. Maybe. He wanted to believe such a large, all-encompassing God wouldn’t condemn him to a life of suffering for what his body wanted. For this thing he had no control over.
But oh,hehad the power now. He felt it as Adriano’s entire body pushed against his, frantic with his own need to bury himself in Noah’s ass.
There would be more for the camera. Noah would perform again later and give something—and take something—that he never had. But he hadn’t realized how happy he was to have this moment, this experience, knowing it was just them.
That it would always be just them.
“Are you ready for me?” Adriano asked.
Noah nodded, squeezed Adriano’s arm, and lifted onto his knees a bit higher so Adriano could get the condom on. He felt it—the slight, uncomfortable press of latex, but it was slick with lube and rock-hard and throbbing with Adriano’s desire.
Adriano’s desire for him. For Noah. No one else.
Noah went pliant as Adriano started to push inside, and the pressure and the stretch was so much. He swore he felt like he would split in half, but he wouldn’t have given it up for the world. His hands grasped the sides of Adriano’s thighs as his lover finally slid all the way inside.
