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Adriano heaved a sigh. ‘They might. I don’t know. We don’t have to post the videos. We can find another way.’
Noah bit his lip and considered it because it was a lot. He’d gone from someone who wouldn’t leave the storefront to filming amateur porn, and it was likely some of the town would see it. He’d have to tell his brother so Adam wouldn’t stumble on it. He’d have to come clean if people asked.
Because even if Eric or Xander didn’t release his name, eventually people would know it was Adriano, and then they’d know it was him.
‘I want to do it,’ Noah told him. ‘I want to have a therapist to help with my anxiety, but I want to do it.’
‘Do you still want to fuck me?’ Adriano asked him, and Noah blushed furiously.
But he didn’t look away. ‘Yes. And…and it can show my face. Our faces.’
Adriano looked mildly surprised. ‘You don’t need to do that.’
Noah felt oddly emboldened, and he shifted closer, letting their legs tangle. ‘I want the world to see your face when I sink inside you.’
Breath coming out in a hard rush, Adriano licked his lips and leaned in. ‘Yes,’ he signed with a nod of his fist.
Noah grinned. ‘Good. Now kiss me.’
It was an order Adriano was happy to follow.
* * *
The restof Shabbat passed in the same comfort it had the week before. They didn’t talk about the videos that were still with the editor. They didn’t talk about work, or about Eric, or about Noah’s anxiety. They read a lot and tangled up with each other on the sofa, in the armchair, in bed.
Adriano stood behind Noah when he prayed and wrapped arms around him when the Shabbat ended and he lit the Havdalah candle, and he laid a hand on Noah’s chest to feel the vibrations as he sang the final blessing. Then they kissed as the flame sent shadows flickering across the walls, and Adriano drew him into the shower and spent ten minutes dragging a soapy sponge over every inch of his body.
They still didn’t get each other off, and Noah finally felt in control of himself, even at Adriano’s hands.
‘I promised you a date,’ Adriano said, flicking through Noah’s closet until he found a nice shirt and a pair of trousers. Adriano was dressed much the same, just more expensively, but Noah realized he never felt unequal with him. Even when he was a virgin who couldn’t keep his dick under control, Adriano never made him feel less.
It was heady. And it was wonderful.
And he loved him.
He let Adriano lay him out on the bed, and he opened his entire body to the man’s lazy kisses. It felt intense and wonderful to hold Adriano against him, to feel his mouth in unexpected places like the curve of his ribs, the hollow of his knee, the bend in his elbow. There was no destination this time, just existing together.
Eventually, Adriano propped up on his elbow and hovered over Noah, his free hand tracing lines up and down Noah’s soft belly. ‘Happy?’ he asked.
Noah’s smile was answer enough it seemed because Adriano leaned back in to kiss him for short, eternal seconds. Eventually, they made it out the door. Adriano drove, and Noah enjoyed the cool night air on his skin and the feeling of being somewhere new and different, even if it was just minutes from his front door.
Mangia e Zitto was still busy, even after nine, and Noah let his hand slip into his boyfriend’s as they made it inside and were shown to a table in the corner. It was dark, candle-lit, and more romantic than Noah imagined it would be.
‘I always thought fancy dates would be cheesy,’ he admitted after they ordered wine.
Adriano chuckled and shook his head. ‘They are, but that’s not a bad thing, is it?’
Noah’s grin widened. ‘No, I guess it isn’t. There’s a place for it.’
Reaching across the table, Adriano took Noah’s hand in his and rubbed his thumb over Noah’s knuckles. They locked eyes, then Adriano brought Noah’s hand up and kissed him there. It was almost too much, but it was also just enough.
‘I wanted to tell you something,’ Adriano said after taking his hand back. ‘It’s going to sound stupid maybe? Or…maybe not the right time? But I feel like if I don’t say it now…’
Noah’s heart leapt in his chest, and he knew—of course he knew because Adam had made it so obvious. The love he held for Adriano was reflected right back at him in the way Adriano’s eyes locked onto his, and in the way his mouth went soft, and in the tender way he handled Noah.
And the way he made Noah feel like enough, even if he still needed work.
“Listen, asshole! I fucking see them right there, and if you don’t let me in, I’m going to blast this place so hard online you’ll never recover. Do you even know who I am? Do you know who Iknow?”
