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He looks as though he’s truly thinking it over, but I know it’s going to take a lot more than that to get through to him. “Nah,” he says, shaking it off. “If it ain’t broke, don’t try to fix it. Besides, why mess with a good thing?”
I roll my eyes. The only thing that’s ever going to help him see the light is when he finally finds the perfect woman, only to lose her because he was too fucking scared to realize what’s important in life. I can’t wait for that day to come. It’ll be magical.
An hour later, he pushes himself up off the couch, scooping up the empty beer bottles and dropping them in the trash. “I better get out of here,” he tells me before pressing a few buttons on his phone and flipping it around to show me a picture of a half-naked chick. “Got a date with this little vixen.”
Jesus. Some things never change. “Alright, man. I’ll see you around.”
Before I know it, Tom is out the door, and I’m kicked back on my couch with my feet up. I put on the replay of Logan’s game from last week and pull out my phone to check if Gigi ended up responding. Cassie mentioned that she was pulled into work to cover a shift, which is why she had to leave, and I sent her a text, but that was hours ago.
I was sure she was into me. Her gaze constantly met mine, seeking me out and lighting up every time I talked to her. Hell, she practically stopped breathing when I got on the back of the dirt bike with her. And I’m not gonna lie, it was nice. It’s the closest I’ve been to a woman in three years.
I had to resist wrapping my arms around her waist and pulling her tighter against me. Then when I hit the accelerator and the bike took off, I was smacked in the face with the smell of her fruity shampoo, and I couldn’t resist breathing her in. I don’t know what it is, but there’s something about this girl.
Since the day Sara died, I’ve only ever found peace in Georgie, but standing at that creek with Gigi, I got that same feeling. All I wanted to do was pull her into my arms and feel her lips on mine. I could see she wanted me to, but I don’t know why. What woman would want to be with someone as screwed up as me? I’m a broken man with a kid. I’m not exactly winning any Bachelor of the Year awards.
When I pulled away, I could see the disappointment flooding her, and I felt like a fucking prick. What kind of man does that? Leads a woman on and then leaves her hanging? The last thing I wanted to do was hurt her feelings, and now . . . well, fuck. Who knows?
I get it, it’s my fault. She put herself out there, and I shut it down. She came across really shy, so I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s feeling embarrassed, but she shouldn’t. She’s beautiful and interesting, and honestly, I’m surprised she hasn’t found some guy that’s swept her off her feet yet.
I’m a fucking idiot.
Pulling up Gigi’s Tinder profile, I open her picture, and as her wide smile greets me, I can’t help but feel like a fool.
I let a perfectly good woman slip through my fingers because I’m scared I’m going to hurt Sara in some nonexistent way, despite knowing how she would want this for me. Like I said, I’m a fucking idiot.
Putting my phone away, I get up off the couch and turn off the game. I’m just going to have to face the fact that I’ve screwed this one up. Maybe I’ll wait another year or two and try again. Surely, I’ll eventually find someone to help fill the void. Until then, it’s just me and Georgie, and I’m okay with that.
I trudge back up the stairs with the baby monitor in my hand, and I peek into Georgie’s room, hovering for a while as I listen to the steady rhythm of her chest rising and falling, knowing tonight is going to be a good one. There will be no gasping for breath, no horrendous attacks, or desperate sprints to the emergency room. Hell, I might actually be able to get a full night’s sleep tonight.
After the crazy day, I step into my bathroom and get myself showered, finding mud in places no man should ever have to scrub mud from. Before I know it, I’m in bed, struggling to find sleep and thinking about the timing of Gigi’s shift.
Considering she was probably feeling down, the timing seems a little convenient. Was she actually asked to come into work or was she faking it so she could hightail it out of there and not have to deal with me after I royally fucked up? Yeah, knowing my luck, that would be it.
