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I’m not naïve to sex or pleasure. I’ve given myself orgasms and I have a very active mind, which is sometimes helped along with reading spicy books. I’m not a little bit ashamed about it, it’s a pleasure a lot of the women in my family share.
Years ago, when the family held an intervention for one of the musicians on Suburban Outcast’s record label, White Picket Fences Records, a trip was taken to Sweetwater Valley. There we met and befriended a romance author, one whose books we always buy. We might not meet on a regular night, but we have our own little book club going.
I might not know what it feels like for a man to touch me, but I’m not completely innocent either. I’ve felt desire, I just never associated it with a man before. Now I do. Now I want it all, but only with him.
I’m ready, and tonight is when I make it known to Theo. If it weren’t for him and the steadfast way that he’s gotten to know me while opening up about himself, I don’t know if I’d be taking this next step. With him, it feels as natural as breathing.
I want him to touch me. I want his mouth caressing every inch of me. I want him filling me up and taking me to heights I’ve only imagined.
A few days ago, when I visited him at his garage, as a surprise, I almost told him I was ready. All because of the way his eyes lit up the moment he looked up and saw me standing there. He looked at me like he was thirsty and hadn’t seen water in days. It was hot as hell and the only reason I didn’t strip right then and there was because we weren’t alone.
Theo came right up to me, furiously wiping his hands on a shop rag as he closed the distance between us, his blue eyes sparkling with so much joy it made my own heart fill with it. Like he had extra to go around just because I was standing in front of him.
“What are you doing here?” There was only curiosity in his tone, and adoration, there was nothing accusatory there.
“I have the afternoon off and thought I’d stop by.” I glanced around his business, suddenly nervous. I looked up at him from under my lashes. “Is that okay?”
He wrapped one of his arms around my waist and pulled me against his chest. He had a firm hold on me even though he didn’t touch me with his hands. Before I could think too deeply about it, his mouth slammed down on mine, and I was lost in the kiss. I’m always lost in him when he’s kissing me—imagine what’ll happen when things go farther.
“You’re always welcome here, my little beauty,” his voice was husky and breathless when he released my lips and looked down at me with adoration in his gaze.
Then he walked me around and showed me his shop, full of pride the entire time. I didn’t understand half of what he said, cars not really being my thing, but it didn’t matter. I wasn’t bored for a second with how infectious his excitement was. I met the other guys working under him and Theo made sure to stand with me, his stance screaming his possession, the entire time introductions were made.
As much as he’s wanted to get to know me, seeing him in his place, the one he’s put so much of himself into, helped me to understand my man better.
And he is mine.
I haven’t said it out loud yet, but I’ve fallen for the man. Hard. I believe him when he looks at me like I’m the center of his universe and I find myself missing him whenever he’s not there.
It was kind of freaking me out at first, because downshifting into wanting to be around someone so much isn’t easy. I talked to Amelia, Ophelia, one of the tattoo artists, Bailey, and Ellie, about everything two days after our first date. I’d heard the stories of how the men in our family found their women, but the glossed over version.
Hearing them talk about their men and how everything shook out, how devoted their men were, even in the face of hardships, and from the start, soothed some of my worries. Then they started telling even more stories of some of the women who weren’t there. I started to feel like it was okay to be willing to jump in with both feet, but only because Theo was right there with me.
I’m nervous about this next step, but I’m not scared of what I’ve been feeling. Fast isn’t bad and it’s kind of par for the course when it comes to my family. I’m glad that it’s happened to me. I wasn’t sure I’d find the right guy for me.
When I knock on Theo’s door, I take in his home again. There’s something so peaceful about it, and the house is simple with modern touches that I love. I’d move in here and be excited about making it a home.
I don’t think we’re there yet.
I should probably see if I can be naked in the same room with him first.
Theo’s door opens and his intense blue eyes find mine immediately. He smiles at me, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. I know why.
He pouts, “I really would have rather come and picked you up, Sarah.”
I giggle and step into his personal space. “I know,” I wrap my arms around his neck and watch as his breathing picks up. “I can make my own way, Theo.”
“You shouldn’t have to,” he grumbles. “I want to take care of my woman.”
I gasp and my eyes widen. “Your woman?”
Theo chuckles as he pulls me farther into his house, closing the door behind me and pressing me back against it. “Oh yeah,” he groans as he buries his face in the curve of my neck. “You’re mine.”
The way his breath fans my skin and the possession in his words make me shiver in his arms. I feel his lips curve into a smile.
“Theo,” I groan. “You don’t have to pick me up to take care of me,” I insist gently. My voice gets quieter, “I do like you calling me yours and how you want to take care of me. It’s just hard because being independent was something I wouldn’t have been allowed to be if we hadn’t been freed.”
He nods, his hands tightening on my body. A few nights ago, I found myself spilling everything to him about how I grew up. I don’t know why. I think part of me wanted to see if I told him my worst, especially with it being such a big part of my life, whether he was going to stick around.
