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He takes a step forward. “Casey and I aren’t what you think.” His palms are facing me as if he’s attempting to calm a wild animal. For a second, I wonder how crazy I actually look.
“You’re fucking her, right?” I ask, the words tasting like acid in my mouth. The thought of her hands on River makes me feel violently ill. He clamps his mouth closed, his brows furrowing in frustration as he rakes his fingers through his long hair. That’s all I need to know. “Stay away from me.” I stagger backward, keeping my eyes locked on his still form, holding my hand up to block him when he goes to take a step after me. “Stay the fuck away from me, River. Go back to Casey and grovel before she finds out from someone else.” Spinning on my heels, I run back the way I came without looking back. This time, he doesn’t follow.
Nora
It’s raining again tonight and my mom is in the next town over at some sort of dinner function with Carson. I tried to occupy my time with reading and taking Cat for a short walk down the beach before settling in my bed to nap, but that quickly lost its appeal when I heard Luca and River slam through the front doors laughing like old times.
They were fucking around in the kitchen, opening and closing cabinets, the low hum of their voices carrying down the hallways. I eye my door, wishing I had the balls to go out there, but honestly, it sounds exhausting. With the way things left off with River, I take the coward’s way out and flee via the garage door before they can see or hear me.
Jax went into town to visit one of his old buddies at a fisherman's pub, so I have the whole evening to kill. We still need to have that talk, but last night after we got home, I pretty much passed out.
I find myself here at Landy’s, the only place I can honestly say is starting to feel like a second home. She’s out of town until sometime tomorrow—holed up at the hospital for another round of radiation. It seems she’s gone more often these days, always doing some new round of chemo, radiation, or experimental procedure. I can see her waning every single day. It kills me to see such a vibrant woman fade so slowly.
She gave me the keys to the studio and permission to use it whenever I want. So, I find myself here again, dancing in the back studio room to a slower song with a thumping bass that makes my heart beat in sync with my steps. It’s hot in this room, causing tiny beads of sweat to erupt on my back and shoulders. My cropped black t-shirt is sticking to my body and my bare feet slap the wooden floor every time I land gracefully on the balls of my feet.
Dancing is therapeutic, and it’s also the best workout you can do. My muscles stretch pleasantly as my heart rate picks up and I find my tempo. My dancing isn’t really limited to one genre. When I’m not teaching a class, I'm usually mixing different styles to see how they mash up.
I suddenly realize that it’s been weeks since I’ve uploaded a video to YouTube. I don’t have that much energy tonight, especially for talking, so I decide to do a live session on the TikTok app. That way I can still dance for my followers while having no obligation to speak or interact.
I set up my phone on the bar in front of the mirror and click to go live, just as another song on my practice playlist starts. I'm mostly freestyling right now, but, honestly, that’s my favorite kind of dancing.
Tonight, I mix it up a little bit extra. I’m feeling emotional and I need some kind of purge. Starting off, I slow it down with some ballet poses, something soft and delicate as the music slowly builds, becoming dramatic and almost sad. When the chorus cuts in I change to contemporary, adding some more jerky movements with harsh stops and strange angles…something a ballerina would never dream of doing in a routine.
I dance a few songs until I’m slightly out of breath, but I know I can keep going. Walking to my phone, I swipe it off the bar to change over to a faster, more upbeat playlist. Before I can switch apps, though, I notice something that has the blood draining from my face.
I recognize two of my viewers… Their names aren't even attempting to be sneaky. I try to mask my shock and irritation, keeping my expression as blank as I can manage as I decide to stick to the same playlist. If Luca and River are going to sit at the house and stalk me via TikTok, then I might as well dance to the moody, dark music that mimics what they make me feel every second of every day.
I place the phone back down on the bar, take a quick swig of water, and then walk back to my place in the center of the room. The new song starts, and this time, it's one I’m more than familiar with. I let the music carry me to a place where my problems don't matter anymore. A place where my limbs feel lighter than air, like I’m a bird that can fly wherever she wants without asking for permission.
In the back of my mind, I know I’m dancing for them. I know they’re watching my every move on the other side of that small screen. For a second, I wonder what they're thinking. Are they laughing at me? Are they poking fun at the way I move or how my body looks contorting into these words’ shapes?
I shake my head and stumble slightly. I’m being an idiot. Why should I give a shit what either of them think about my dancing? They used to watch me dance on the beach when we were younger, cheering me on from the shallow water as they floated on their boards. They were always my number one fans.
River used to tell me that someday he’d watch me dance on the stage of the Paris ballet. I always laughed, knowing that was a bit far fetched. All I really want to do is open up my own dance studio and teach other people how to do the thing I love the most in the world. Luca understood. His dream to own a studio and make music was kind of like a kindred spirit to mine.
Luca
Ihad no idea she could dance like this. Light on her feet, aware of each and every muscle, limb and movement. The sixteen-year-old dreamer is gone, and in her place is a fucking angel.
The moment I think those words, my stomach sours and I almost grab the phone out of River’s hand and throw it. We’re sitting on Nora’s bed while she’s at the dance studio, having heard her sneak out of here about two hours ago thinking we didn’t hear her. She’d be pissed if she knew we were snooping around her room but I don’t give a shit.
River watches her TikTok live stream, not paying attention as I get up and pace the room, running my hand over my head in frustration. Glancing at the bed, I’m overwhelmed with a sick, hollow feeling, remembering what happened the other night before the party. What I did was fucked up for so many reasons, even if it felt right at the time. The second I got dressed and walked out of her room, I’d known it was a mistake.
I can still feel the bliss of her mouth wrapped around my cock. So much so that I’m already getting hard again. I grip the windowsill, glaring out at her view of the ocean, trying to steady my breathing. Music still plays in the background… It's a slower song. Sensual with heavy bass that I can feel in my fucking bones. Without even looking at the live stream, I can imagine the way her body looks, covered in a sheen of sweat, her pale hair sticking to her chest…
Groaning, I resist the urge to palm my cock. It’s fucking ridiculous the way this woman makes me forget about all the reasons why I’ve avoided women like a fucking plague. Sure, I’ve fucked one here or there just to take the edge off, but I never let them get close. Not again.
Leaving the window, I decide to snoop around her room, heading over to her writing desk where her laptop sits open. Like a jackass I turn it on, and realize she doesn't have a password.
“You’re playing with fire, Luc,” River warns me.
Swiveling in the desk chair, I arch a brow in his direction. “Says the guy spying on her like a creep.” My lips twitch upward and he mirrors it. “She doesn't even have a password on this thing.” I shake my head at her trusting nature. Some things never change, I guess.
“If you find porn on there let me know, my spank bank is looking a little empty…”
I chuck a pen at his head, hitting him in the temple. He curses and chucks it right back. “I thought Casey had that covered.” My voice is full of disdain for his little fuck toy. She’s a bitch and I've always thought River was too good for her.
River groans, laying back on Nora’s mattress. For a second, my body tenses, remembering how it felt to have Nora beneath me as I climbed up her body, took out my throbbing cock, and placed it on her tongue…
