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“Logan,” I call to him, but I don’t hear his movements on the other side. He may be downstairs, but I don’t stop my speech. “I know you’re angry with yourself for what happened, but I’m not. Don’t I get a say in what happens in my life? I thought you were different from your father, but the way you’re acting, you’re turning into him.”
I wait, but he still doesn’t make me aware of where he is or if he’s even listening to me. My heart pounds against my chest, and I fist my hands and bang them against the wooden door.
“You’re not him. Please don’t do this, Logan! You’re nothing like him. Our journey may not be a perfect fairy tale, but you can change our story.” My voice is lower now, hope slowly ebbing away from me. I can’t get through to him if he’s not allowing me to talk to him, if he’s not listening.
I close my eyes and breathe deeply. The guilt of what I did, how I pushed him, is at the forefront of my mind. Even though I craved what he did, aching for his violence, I should’ve taken it slower. But pleasure had taken hold of me, and I didn’t want to stop because I believed he could handle it.
I was wrong.
So damn wrong.
“Logan don’t send me away,” I plead this time. I’m not screaming, I’m not shouting. My voice is low, a pained plea, hoping he can hear me from wherever he is in the house.
18
Logan
I lean my head against the door. My palm flat against the wood, as if I can feel her through the thickness of it. I know she’s right on the other side. My body aches to be near her. She’s done something to me, broken through walls I’ve built and burrowed herself inside me.
Over the past week, all I’ve wanted was to feel her, to touch her like I did last night, and then I ended up hurting her. She can deny it all she wants, but I know what I did. Losing control like that has guilt weighing me down. My gut is heavy with the dark emotion that’s eaten away at me over the years.
Vera isn’t like other girls. That’s a fact. But I can’t be near her if she allows me to do what I did last night. She passed out and seeing her limp body was an aphrodisiac, which is why I need to send her away. It’s wrong on so many levels. I shouldn’t want her like that, but I do.
I thought I could be normal when she tasted me. The moment her delicate hand wrapped around my dick, and I watched her lie down, eyes closed, I hardened again, and I thought it would work, but the more I craved her, the worse my control got.
I snapped.
I shouldn’t have.
“Logan, I want you to do it again,” she speaks up again. “I want you to hold me down on the bed, touch me while I sleep. I want you to find pleasure with me. I’m not afraid of you.”
I want nothing more than to do what she asks. I want to storm into the room, hold her, keep her, but I know she doesn’t deserve this life. My mind is a mess, torn between doing the right thing and taking what I crave to own.
I move down the stairs until I reach my phone. No messages. I hit dial on the number I should’ve called yesterday. I want to tell my father that he can’t have her, that she’s no longer his to take.
I settle in the chair, hitting the display of the cameras, and before my contact can answer the phone, I kill the call to stare at the screen before me. He found her apartment. Thankfully, they can’t track her here. He won’t know where she’s gone. I made sure her computer, phone, and iPad were all offline before coming here, so there’s no way for him to find us.
To find her.
Silence from above greets me, and I hope she’s finally asleep. My gut churns with the guilt of what I did. I made a mistake, the reminder of that is clear in my mind. I should never have touched her. Watching her body go limp, waking her back up, and then watching her slide into a dreamless sleep beside me was what I clearly needed to make the decision.
I’m going to face my father. It’s been years, and I ran for good reason, but now I’m going to return for an even better one. I want to fix myself, mend the brokenness about me so I can give her what she needs.
Every thought I have of walking away from here burns me from the inside out. I can’t watch her leave, and I can’t send her away. Even though I know, I should. I can’t love her, but I can make sure she’s safe and happy.
