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"Did you ever get tired of it?"
He let out an amused breath. "Quite the contrary."
I tried to detangle that, looking back at the pages. "You were uh… studying this again?" I asked, nudging the analysis on Ransom’s sickness that I’d already committed to memory.
"If I read them out of order it helps me see it in a new light. And I’m going through your notes."
I nodded, considering that, and building up the courage for my question. "What… what would you be doing if you weren’t doing this?"
Dusk barked a low laugh, fixing me with a curious gaze. "I’m a codependent shell. I don’t think there is anything else."
I blinked, taken off guard by those words.
Dusk didn’t talk about himself much. Actually, he never talked about himself. I’d never noticed that until those words settled over me, digging up more meaning with every second of silence that passed.
He didn’t seem sad or upset, like the words might imply. He was carefully watching my reaction.
"They get on really well with each other," I said slowly, eyes drifting to the door for a second before returning to him.
He nodded. "They do."
"And they’re healing each other."
A trace of humour crinkled his eyes as he drew back a little, taking me in more completely. "They are. It’s good."
"And they don’t need you… l-like they did before."
"No."
"You give me… balance." The word slipped out, as true as it was unexpected. Dusk had been the balance to my instincts at every turn. Ones that were supposed to be impossible to tame. "I… I need you."
There was a long beat. "It would be entirely unhealthy for that to make me feel better."
"Does it?" I asked.
A smile played on the corners of his lips, but he didn’t answer.
"If they’re healing each other," I said. "Who’s healing you?"
"I don’t know if there’s anything that needs healing," he said.
I frowned. I didn’t think that was true.
He was broken in his own quiet way.
"But you don’t think you have anything else outside of… this?" I glanced at the papers across the bed.
"I suppose not.” He looked at the pages too, his expression drawn. “I don’t know when it happened. I just looked behind me one day and…" He trailed off, searching for words, but my whisper tumbled out.
"And it was spring, but… but the last thing you saw was snow…" I realised it might not make any sense at all, but his yellow eyes were fixed on me more intently than they ever had. "I… I’m just saying… there might be a way back from that."
It was the path I was on right now.
"I would like that."
I wanted to be theirs. And that meant it was my job to take care of him.
"But there are more important things to discuss."
