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Hope. Suddenly his heart started beating again, or at least beating differently.
God … maybe if he jumped off the roof right now he would fly.
Benny licked his dry lips and swallowed a dry throat and in a dry voice said, “Yes.”
Nix’s eyes searched his, looking for a lie.
Somehow that made Benny feel stronger. He leaned toward her, letting her see everything she could find in his eyes.
He squeezed her hand. “Nix … I love you so much.”
“You do?” she asked in a voice that was as fragile as a butterfly’s wing.
“Yes. I love you. I really do.” It felt strange to say aloud. Enormous and good and delicious.
But Nix’s brow furrowed. “If you love me, then swear on that.”
They were back to the question about leaving. Benny bowed his head for a moment, unable to bear the weight of what she was asking. Nix hooked a finger under his chin and lifted his face toward hers.
“Please, Benny …”
“I swear it, Nix. I love you and I swear on that.”
Tears rolled down her cheeks, and she kissed him. Then Benny was on his knees, his arms wrapped around her, and both of them were crying, sobbing out loud under the bright blue sky. Even then, even with the terrible shared awareness of what lay behind them and before them, neither Benny nor Nix would ever be able to explain what it was that was breaking their hearts.
Benny thought about what Nix had said in the cemetery. That leaving was like dying.
FROM NIX’S JOURNAL
Questions:
Can zoms experience fear?
Do they know they’re dead?
Can they feel any emotions? (Do they hate the living?)
14
“JUST SO I’M CLEAR ON THIS,” SAID CHONG IN HIS CALMEST AND MOST reasonable voice. “You want to take us camping in the Rot and Ruin?”
“Yes,” said Tom. “Just an overnight trip.”
“Out where the zoms are?”
“Yes.”
“Out where there are three hundred million zoms?”
Tom smiled. “I doubt there are that many of them left. I doubt there’s more than two hundred million zoms left.”
Chong peered at him with the flat stare of a lizard. “That’s not as much of a comfort as you might think, Tom.”
“Hundred million fewer things that want to eat you,” said Benny. “Put it in the win category.”
“Hush,” said Chong, “there are grown folks talking.”
Benny covertly offered a rude gesture.
