Page 56 of Grumpy Best Friend


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And even though Bret looked at me like he wanted to strip me down and take me at basically all hours of the day, early morning and late at night included, I found myself loving the attention—and courting it a little bit. I mean, I didn’t need to wear tiny little shorts that were probably too small for me, and I probably could’ve worn a bra around him once in a while, but apparently, I couldn’t help myself.

Things were complicated, to say the least, but I’d been strong and resisted the urge to take things further—and he hadn’t pressed the issue.

Yet, at least. I didn’t know how long his self-control could last, and once he cracked, I knew I’d give him what he wanted.

What we both wanted.

Lisa leaned back and studied me. She tugged at her hair absently, and glanced toward the windows. “There’s one more thing,” she said.

“What’s up?” I asked.

She seemed nervous all of a sudden. “It’s about the security guys,” she said.

I let out a slow sigh. “I was waiting for someone to ask about them.”

She laughed a little bit and stopped tugging at her hair. She held out her hands in a plaintive gesture. “I mean, I get it, someone threw a brick through the window. That was really crazy. But an entire security team? I’ve heard a few people talking about it, and nobody’s sure what to think.”

I swiveled away from her and looked toward the sky, at the dark blue mottled with fluffy white clouds, and watched them drift past fast, blowing like rockets in the jet stream. This was the conversation I’d been dreading for a long time, and now that it had arrived, I realized I didn’t know how to have it.

But I decided to go with pure honesty. Lisa was trustworthy, or at least I had to assume she was, and she might even be able to help.

“We’ve had some threats,” I said, speaking slowly, and looked back over at her as I told her the story, starting with Zeke’s first visit. I left out some details, and kept it as general as I could, but gave her the main picture: Zeke was trying to blackmail us into paying him off, and we believed he had connections to organized crime.

Lisa listened with surprising patience, and the more I spoke, the crazier it all sounded. I mean, the guy pretended like he owned the American patent to a cookie, which was absolutely not true, but it was his excuse to get aggressive. He was Lady Fluke’s ex-husband, and that would look very bad if it ever leaked.

“I assume you’re not going to call the police to avoid bad publicity,” Lisa said, deadpan.

I nodded. “Lady Fluke explicitly told me not to.”

“You do realize that the police don’t want to get media involved in things like this, right?” Lisa tilted her head to the side. “But it’s better to skip them entirely, if you really want to keep it under wraps.”

I laughed, and it bubbled out of me like lava. All this time, I felt totally insane, and wondering if we were doing the wrong thing. And then my chief marketing office more or less confirms that we’re doing the right thing.

“It’s honestly a relief to hear you say that. I keep thinking maybe we should get the cops involved, even if Lady Fluke doesn’t want me to.” I shook my head and gestured toward where Hal stood in the hall near the cube farm, quietly standing against the wall like a statue. “And instead, we got security.”

“I’m glad you told me,” Lisa said. “That brick makes more sense. The security makes total sense. I just wish you’d told me sooner, so I could’ve worked on how to spin it.”

“You’ll do that?” I asked, genuinely surprised.

She beamed at me. “I’m a marketer. It’s what I do. I mean, I guess that’s technically public relations, but close enough.”

“I don’t even know how to thank you,” I said, shaking my head.

“Give me a good year-end bonus,” she said, and tapped her fingers against her tablet. “I’ll come up with a story about the security guys to tell the rest of the office. It’ll be a mix of true and false, and I’ll run it past you before spreading it. Sound good?”

“Sounds amazing.”

“Perfectly.” She nodded to herself. “And then there’s the problem of this guy, Zeke. Do you want me to look into him?”

“I mean—” I started, then shook my head. “No, you shouldn’t get involved if you don’t have to.”

“Again, he’s threatening my company, so I feel as though that’s literally my job.”

“I know, but still.” I swiveled side to side, not sure how much further I wanted to drag her into this. “I think for now, if you can help with the rumors in the office, that’s a good start.”

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