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“So,” Mom says when we break apart. “What do you plan on doing about Mr. Kim?”
Mom’s and Dad’s faces go sheet white when I tell them that I plan to publicly come out.
“Honey,” Mom says, “I understand why you want to make this kind of statement and will support you no matter what, but you do realize that by doing all this, you might jeopardize your chances of ever getting hired in another show or movie in Korea, right? There’s no telling how people will react to your words, and the risks are big. You are still young. You have a whole future ahead of you. Are you sure you don’t want to just let all of this blow over?”
I think about earlier today and how out of the three teens in our friend group, I’m the only one who felt relatively safe about coming out to my parents. Who knows how many of us are really out there, in the Korean entertainment industry and beyond? People see queerness as such an anomaly, as if therearen’t that many of us. But what if we’re actually the norm, and we’re all just in hiding?
Something deep inside me tells me I’ll forever regret it if I don’t make this statement now. Regardless of whatmighthappen with my career.
“Yeah,” I say. “I am. I may be just starting out, but if this industry isn’t okay with who I am, then I don’t want to keep working in it anyway.”
Mom looks intently at my face for a long moment and then sighs. “All right. Well, like I said before, we support you no matter what.”
She wraps me into a hug. Dad lingers behind for a few seconds before also slowly coming around to embrace Mom and me again. I try to harness the gratitude and love I feel now so I can remember it when I’ll need it the most.
When I feel ready to break apart from my parents, I walk into my room and call my manager.
“Sophia?” I ask.
“Yes?”
“I want to make a public statement telling the truth about what happened so everyone knows about what Mr. Kim is trying to do now.”
Sophia doesn’t say anything for a few seconds after I explain to her what I want to say. I’m afraid she’s hung up, when she finally replies, “Hana, from a professional perspective, I can’t advise you to follow this course of action. It’s a huge risk, career-wise, just because of how people might react. Youmight not get another show or movie in this industry again.”
“I know. I already talked to my parents about it, and that’s what they said, too.”
“Yes, I figured as much.” She lets out a short sigh and continues, “But on a personal level, I know why you feel the need to do this and why this is important for you. Even though I manage your career, I also care about your personal well-being and happiness. So if you’re absolutely sure about making this sort of statement, despite the risks, I’ll set up a press conference for you.”
“How about you? Wouldn’t me issuing this statement hurt you career-wise as well?”
“Well, yes, probably.”
“You’re more than welcome to say I forced you into this. I don’t want to risk your career, too, especially not after you’ve been so good to me.”
Sophia laughs. “No, I wouldn’t allow that. I can handle whatever comes next. Don’t you worry about me.”
“Sophia... thank you.”
“No problem. Just be sure to send me a transcript of what you want to say so I can look over it before the actual conference. And make sure Minjee and her team are okay with you coming out, since this directly impacts her, too.”
“Will do.”
As soon as I hang up, I text Minjee, asking her how things went with her parents.
I expect her to respond right away, like she always does.But first minutes and then hours pass with no response from Minjee.
I try calling her. Straight to voice mail. I call again. Nothing changes.
Even though I’m anxiously worried about Minjee, I start working on my statement since we’re so pressed for time. My parents help, and so does Bryan over text and video chat. By the end of the day, I have the statement ready to send to Sophia and Minjee.
I’m about to go to bed when I get a call.
When I pick up, the other line is completely silent. I’m wondering if it’s a butt dial when Minjee says, “I came out to my parents. And it didn’t go well.”
Her voice is raw, like she’s spent the last several hours crying. My chest immediately tightens, hurting from the pain in her voice.
“Do you need anything?” I ask. “Are you safe?”
