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The plane ride hadn’t been long, but in my head, it had seemed like an eternity. Sitting there, waiting as I slowly got closer and closer to the place where I lost myself.
Athens held the worst memories of my life. It had been where my father had beaten me, where he’d made me feel like I was the lowest scum on earth. He told me stories about how powerful the DePalma family was, how they owned the United States and how they were so dominant and influential. Marco made me feel like it was a privilege to be considered part of their family, not a right simply because I had their blood running through me.
When I first found my father he’d sent me away to college across the other side of the country. It hurt to know that this man who I had been searching for, for so long, was so cold and uncaring. While I was away, I researched the history of Italian families—their customs, their values. It was everything I wanted, everything as a little girl I’d dreamed of. Cousins, aunts, and uncles, grandparents—the type of family that all came together to celebrate.
So when Marco called me to say it was time to come and prove how dedicated I was to becoming a part of their family, I joined him in a flash. Not knowing that what I was about to walk into would utterly destroy me.
I inhaled deeply as I stepped out the front doors of the airport. The air here was just different than it was in New York. Fresher maybe. But even the smoothness of the air and the open spaces did nothing to calm me.
I gave it a few minutes, hoping to calm my shaking hands before tossing my bag over my shoulder and walking to the nearest taxi.
I’d booked a hotel room that was close to the university and town so I wouldn’t need to get a car. The plan was one night and then I was out of here tomorrow afternoon.
In and out—I could do it.
My body was beginning to feel much calmer as I sat back and watched the world flash by. I had fallen in love with this town. It was beautiful and old fashioned. A knot formed in my throat. The scenery was familiar, and as I stared out the window and took it in, I began to feel almost comforted.
As much as I both loved and loathed the memories that came with this place, in the end, it still had a feeling of home.
I got settled in my hotel room and ordered some food. I’d chosen to take a late flight so tomorrow I could walk to the university and then catch a taxi from there straight to the airport. There wouldn’t be a lot of hanging around and, therefore, less chance of seeing… someone. I checked the clock. It was almost 7:00 p.m. and it was beginning to get dark outside.
I stood on the balcony and stared out over the street. I’d gotten to know Athens like the back of my hand, and my old apartment was only two streets over from where I was. I could almost see the rooftop.
The urge to go and take a peek was enticing. I’d loved that small little place. Before Chelsea had moved in with me, it had been where I had found my sanctuary.
It reminded me of home.
It reminded me of my mom.
My chest ached as I thought about the woman who’d raised me. I’d tried to ignore my thoughts of her for the past year or so, simply because I knew she’d be so disappointed with the person that I had become.
I threw on a sweatshirt with a hood and pulled on my sneakers. Jogging down the stairs, I hit one of the last corners and almost collided with a woman who was slowly making her way up. I jumped out of the way, apologizing profusely, as she held her hand to her heart like I’d scared the crap out of her too.
“It’s okay, honey,” she said, finally looking up at me. “I should’ve heard you coming but I was in another world.”
Her eyes were beautiful, bright and blue and full of familiarity. The second I thought she might know who I was I excused myself. “No problem, bye!” I took the stairs two at a time, wanting to get away as fast as I could. The last thing I wanted was for someone to recognize me while I was here and have The Brothers come knocking on my hotel room door.
I tucked my hair into my collar and pulled my hood over my head. I kept my face down as I walked, nerves setting in and causing me to jump at every little noise or movement.
It wasn’t that I was afraid.
I knew that The Brothers would never hurt me—not physically. But I knew that given the chance, Blizzard was going to take another shot at ripping me to shreds. I was growing stronger every day, accepting that I’d made mistakes and trying to build myself into a better person. Right now, wasn’t the time to be cut down and destroyed by someone who I once seriously cared for—who I still cared for. I was afraid that every step I’d made so far would have been for nothing and I’d be back to that scared little mouse that I left Athens as, so many months ago.
The wind brushed my hood back from my face and I found myself standing in front of the apartment I’d once loved.
The bottom floor was an old lock-up garage where the people who owned the apartment stored all their stuff while they were gallivanting overseas on cruises and holidays. They never stayed in one place and, therefore, decided to rent out their small apartments to help fund their expenses—not that they needed to, they were rich and horribly greedy.
I couldn’t help but smile at the rickety staircase that led up the side to the apartment. My mom and I had lived in the same type of apartment in California for twelve years. The only difference was that there was an apartment underneath us and Miss Betham, she was the old lady who lived there looked after me every day after school.
I studied the place carefully, wondering why I hadn’t realized the similarities until now.
My mom worked two jobs, and then when I turned fourteen, I worked one too. And even then we were still struggling to make ends meet at the best of times.
The light wind chilled the tears that had begun to slip slowly down my cheeks.
I missed her so much.
My mom was a woman that I looked up to and admired. She was so strong and never let our circumstances dictate our happiness. She always found time, and she made me remember that it wasn’t about how much money we had or where we lived, but who we were as people.
