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Chapter Nine
I kissed Harlyn on the forehead as we stood outside the school. “Have a good day, baby girl.”
She rolled her eyes at me. “I’ll try,” she muttered as she walked away.
In my gut I knew that there was something going on, my usual bright baby had become uncooperative and was finding every damn excuse in the book to not attend the private school we’d enrolled her in. Guilt settled in my stomach as I climbed into my car and started the engine. I didn’t want her to be unhappy. Hell, I’d spent the last six years fighting to do the complete opposite. She’d thrived at her old school, with a large group of friends and supportive teachers. It was a definite contrast to how she was feeling right now, and I hated that I’d pushed that on her.
It was even harder for me to explain why.
Almost impossible actually.
I just wanted the best for her, I wasn’t sure why people couldn’t understand that.
I drove back to our new house. We were still unpacking, but Optimus had managed to get all our things sent from our old place to Athens pretty quickly for which I was grateful. It was slowly starting to feel more and more like home, a comfort I was desperately seeking. I needed normalcy, structure, but at the moment it just seemed like one mess after another.
As I pulled into the driveway and turned the car off, my cell phone beeped. I picked it up and opened the message with a smile on my face, expecting it to be from Wrench. He was coming over this morning to help me unpack and arrange my furniture. Wrench was becoming a welcome fixture in my life. There was something about him, something I couldn’t even explain, that made me feel just… happy.
As I opened my phone, I instantly noticed that the message I’d received was from an unknown number. My hand started to shake as I pressed to open it. For a brief moment, I was relieved when a blank message came up.
Maybe it was a mistake, an accident.
Then I heard a voice, a voice I hadn’t heard in a long time, one that haunted my memories and infected my dreams.
It was my voice.
“Please, I need it.”
Tears sprung to my eyes as I listened to what seemed like a dream, a horrible fucking nightmare. It was my voice but it was distorted, affected by months and months of abuse.
“I can’t take the noise. Please, Peter.”
“It’s okay, Annabelle. I’ve got what you need,” Peter vowed, his tone gentle and comforting.
A light relieved sigh followed and I knew in that moment, that he’d placed the pill in my hand, and that I knew everything would be okay.
The noise would stop.
That was where the recording ended.
But my heart, it continued to thud against my chest. My skin burned, I felt dirty, itchy. The air around me felt like it was heating up, burning at my skin as I held the phone in my shaking hand.
No, that’s not me.
I scrambled for my bag and reached for the door handle, the soft breeze that hit me as I threw myself out of the blazing car felt like complete bliss. I inhaled deeply, but the fresh air did nothing to soothe the wave of nausea that swept over me. Slamming the car door, I ran for the house, tripping on the stairs and falling forward. I fought to get to my feet, needing to get inside the house, images of him swirling inside my brain, memories that I’d squashed fighting through with a vengeance.
Finally managing to get through my front door, I slammed it behind me causing the glass panels to break. I waited for the smash but it never came. At that moment, I couldn’t care less whether I broke every damn panel in this house, there was only one thing I was searching for and it was hidden in my bedside table.
You don’t need it.
Fight back!
The voice in the back of my head screamed at me, demanding that I stop and take a breath. But I was struggling to breathe as it was, I couldn’t take a breath when my throat was slowly closing, cutting off the essential life source.
I threw myself to my knees next to the bed, tears streaking down my cheeks. My body was shutting down, the darkness was coming and my limbs felt like heavy weights. I couldn’t reach for the drawer, I couldn’t move at all. The walls of the room started to close in on me. I knew that I should run for the door, but my brain couldn’t figure out how to get my body onto its feet. I tossed my head from side to side, the buzzing sound in my ears becoming louder. It was like the television when that grainy screen came on, my brain was a mess of dark fuzzy colors and noise.
I threw my head back, beating it against the bed, trying to shake the buzzing, just for a moment so I could reach for my pills.
One.I just needed one.
