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Mornings were the best time of day for Beverly Casson. She had the house to herself because Alfonso hadn’t come home. She was used to his absence, his devotion to the hardware store that had provided such a wonderful life for her and their children. With Alfonso out of the house, it gave her space to do her morning routine. First thing, she let the dogs out into the yard for their morning toilet. The dogs had given her a reason for living since her children left home. Next, she got their food dishes out of the dishwasher and lined them up to fill. They ate out on the sun porch, so she placed them there, and when they came in from the yard, the routine was they’d find their breakfast.
While they ate, she had her shower and did her hair and makeup. She chose a nice outfit, too. Today, she’d keep the promise she’d made to herself to go to the AA meeting at the community center. Everyone knew she was a drunk, so by going she wasn’t going to be revealing any big secrets. She kind of hoped she’d shake things up a little bit.
Standing in the kitchen looking out the back window at the lovely yard, she knew that she wouldn’t tolerate her marriage another second. As soon as the meeting was over, she’d walked down to Jerry Cramer’s office and file for a divorce. While she jotted down a list of things to do that day, her phone beeped. It was Alphonso.
“Yep,” she said, biting her lip to keep from laughing.
She had wanted to sayHi, Also badly, but didn’t allow it. The key was to be nice. Get what you want and be nice.
“Hi, yeah, I guess I just want to say I’m sorry.”
“No apologies necessary, Alfonso. What’s done is done. I’m going to Jerry’s now and going to file, so you’ll be free to see who you want.”
“I’ll move into the apartment,” he said. “I’ll need to come by and get my clothes and things.”
“You can come when I’m gone. I guess you can leave your stuff in the garage,” she said. “I have no use for that space. Until you get a garage, it’s no problem.”
“Well, thank you for that,” he said.
“I’ve got to go.” She knew the AA meeting started at eight and didn’t want to walk in during the middle of it.
“I’ll be by in about twenty minutes.”
“Fine. Lock up when you’re done.”
She quickly got her bags, kissed her dogs goodbye, and left the house. She’d drive in because she needed a few things at Spencer’s and didn’t want to lug grocery bags home.
There were a few cars in the parking lot when she got to the community center. Fortunately, she’d been out of circulation long enough that there were no familiar faces. There were also no women her age, mostly younger people and a few older men. It would take an act of her will to get beyond that, already the desire to get home and get the bottle of gin out at eleven sharp monopolizing every thought. The yearning juxtaposed with the desire for sobriety, cycling, and right then she wanted a big glass of vodka even at that hour, and she never drank before noon.
But she’d fight it, the thought that her son had outed her like he had, and was now in danger of following in his father’s footsteps enough to make her stay planted in her seat, listening to the leader talking.
When the meeting was over, she didn’t linger, acknowledging the leader with a wave, and left the building. She decided she’d have coffee at Café Delphine. It was an enjoyable ritual she’d given up once her youngest child had moved out and she was free to indulge her alcoholic tendencies. With the children gone, the emptiness of her relationship with their father overwhelmed her. Shaking her head, she was determined not to keep going down that path.
Step one: Admitting that she was powerless over others, that her life had become unmanageable. So what was she going to do? She was going to let go of her husband, that was the first thing. She was afraid of sobriety for fear that she’d feel again, and that might be more than she was capable of experiencing. But she’d deal with it one day at a time. Today, she wasn’t going to drink. Maybe it would have to be one minute at a time.
Walking down the block to the café, it appeared to be relatively empty, so she went in and sat down at a booth in the window.
“Miss Casson, how nice to see you,” the server said. “It’s been a long time.”
“Yes, Emily, too long,” she said. “I’ll have a real breakfast. I was just going to have sweets but maybe not. Eggs and grits and smoked salmon and cheese biscuits.”
“They just came out of the oven, too,” Emily said. “Oh, look, here comes your son.”
“Mom,” he said, kissing her cheek. “Emily, coffee and waffles, please.”
Steve slid in the seat across from Beverly.
“I went to AA this morning,” she said. “I just ordered a huge breakfast. I can’t remember the last time I ate.”
“Mom, take it a day at a time, I know that myself.”
“What about you?” she asked. “What happened?”
“It’s all better,” he said, turning the upside-down coffee cup right side up.
Emily came over with the pot and poured coffee in their cups, and he waited until she was gone, known as one of the biggest purveyors of gossip in town.
