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She kept her eyes closed. They’d already said the best version of goodbye either of them was capable of. So she pretended to be asleep as he slipped out of the room and back out of her life.
…
Once he was on a plane, he’d be fine.
This wasn’t the first Christmas Eve he’d spent in an airport. The last five years he hadn’t even celebrated or acknowledged the holidays, so why was the thought of being on a plane, getting farther and farther away from eggnog and Christmas-shaped cookies and the big evergreen tree in the inn’s foyer making him depressed as hell?
Deboarding the plane three weeks ago, his entire body had been filled with dread, his head was a mess, and his chest had been filled with a thick fog of anxiety that had threatened to destroy him. Similar emotions overwhelmed him now.
Leaving Jessica in the middle of the night while she slept had to be the hardest thing he’d ever done. Lying there next to her in the dark, he’d gone back and forth a million times about what it was he really wanted. Three weeks with her had left him questioning everything.
He ran a hand through his hair as he slumped into an empty seat at the nearly empty boarding gate. He was more rested and regrouped for this trip than he’d been for any other in a long time, yet he was also more on edge. He was eager to get back to work, but this time he was also going to miss something here. Badly.
He stretched his legs out in front of him and set his suitcase down on the floor. Across from him, a young family—mother, father, and two small kids—huddled around a cell phone.
“Delayed again,” the father said, looking exhausted. “We know… We will be there soon.”
“Under the Christmas tree on Christmas morning like the best gifts you are,” he heard a friendly older female voice say on the other side of the connection.
The kids blew kisses as they disconnected.
Mitch glanced away. Other people were trying to get home to be with loved ones for the holidays. Other people needed those important connections in their lives. Cherished them. Mitch loved his family, but he’d never felt that pure need to be surrounded by their love. He was always okay on his own, among strange faces in strange places. He’d found his comfort in the unfamiliar. No ties, no attachments, no obligations.
That wasn’t the case anymore.
Maybe he’d just never before found someone who’d wedged themselves into his soul so deeply and completely. Until Jess.
He sighed as he checked the time on his phone. Six a.m. She’d probably be waking up now to go spend the day with Trent and her aunt’s family like she did every year. He could call or text…
He stared at her picture on his phone as the boarding announcement was made for pre-boarding. That was him. Always the first one on the plane. Always the most eager to leave. Now, the decision to get on the plane felt like the worst one he’d ever make.
He tucked his phone away, gathered his things, and boarded the plane before he allowed three weeks of unexpected happiness to derail his life.
Once he was on the plane, he’d be fine.
Chapter Twenty-Four
December 25th…Christmas Day…
Christmas morning at her aunt Frankie’s house had always been Jessica’s favorite day of the year. Brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, and a million kids all excited and boisterous. It was impossible not to catch the spirit of the holidays surrounded by the love and happiness and good-will.
That year her heart felt heavy as she sat in the corner of the couch in the matching reindeer onesie pajamas her aunt always bought for the entire family, coffee cup cradled in her hands as everyone gathered around the tree at seven o’clock in the morning to open presents. The same tradition every year for as far back as Jessica could remember. The decorations in the home, the ornaments on the tree, the holiday music playing, and the smell of her aunt’s famous Christmas morning bake of bacon and eggs and hash browns were all exactly the same.
But something was different this year.Shewas different.
Mitch would be on a plane now, an hour into his flight. He hadn’t called or texted since leaving the B&B and she hadn’t had the courage to reach out. They’d talk again soon, but today was too soon. Emotions were still too raw.
A part of her had really thought he’d stay. That their time together had made him want to be here…or at least not want to leave so soon. A silly part of her had thought maybe he’d realize this was where he wanted to be and he’d come back. Show up for her in those final minutes. Like some romantic movie…
Who left on Christmas Day anyway? The dayafterChristmas made sense. Her pain had her switching between wanting to cry and being irritated with him. The irritation was better. It eased the ache in her chest for a little while.
Unfortunately, it didn’t last. She knew for Mitch it was as though he didn’t want to experience this joy and season of giving, knowing it wasn’t happening in other parts of the world. She couldn’t fault his kind and generous heart. Hell, it was part of the reason she’d fallen in love with him.
Hadn’t Lia warned her about falling in love with someone who wanted to save the world? And that was something she loved about him. She’d never want him to change.
And hehadasked her to go with him. So she couldn’t put this loneliness all on him. She’d had a choice to make as well.
“Jess, this one’s for you,” her cousin, Kara said, placing a large gift on her lap. Jessica smiled and set her coffee cup aside, then opened the gift from her aunt.
