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While her best friend talked, Lacy stared at the fire in the brick hearth. Outside, the night was cold and still, moonlight glittering on snow. Inside, there was warmth from the fire and from the deep threads of friendship.
It felt good to sit here relaxing—or as much as she could relax when the conversation was about Sam. But at least he wasn’t here. He wasn’t walking through the resort with her, hunched over her desk going over plans, smelling so good she wanted to crawl onto his lap, tuck her head against his chest and just breathe him in.
Oh, God.
It had been days now and her very righteous anger kept sliding away to dissolve in a puddle of want and need. She didn’t want to want Sam, but it seemed there was no choice. And damn it, Lacy told herself, she should know better.
What they had together hadn’t been enough to keep him with her two years ago. It wouldn’t be enough now. Wanting him was something she couldn’t help. That didn’t mean that she would surrender to what she felt for him again, though.
“They’re all so happy he’s back,” Kristi was saying. “It’s like they’ve forgotten all about how he left.”
“I can understand that,” Lacy told her, pausing for another sip of wine to ease the dryness in her suddenly tight throat. It was different for his family, of course. Having Sam back meant filling holes in their lives that had stood empty for too long. There was no second-guessing what they felt at his return. They weren’t focused on their pain now, but on the alleviation of it.
Taking a breath, Lacy gave her friend a smile she really didn’t feel. “Your parents missed him horribly. They’re just grateful to have him home.”
“Yeah, I get it.” Kristi frowned into her straw-colored wine. “But how do they just ignore how he left? What he did to all of us by leaving when he did?”
“I don’t know.” Lacy reached out to snag a chocolate chip cookie off the plate on the table. Taking a bite, she chewed thoughtfully while Kristi continued to rant about her older brother, then she said, “I think for your mom and dad, it’s more about getting their son back than it is punishing him for leaving.”
“He hurt us all.”
“Yeah. He did.” Lacy knew how the other woman felt. She couldn’t get past how Sam had left, either. Having him here now was so hard. Every time she saw him. Every time he stepped close to her, her heartbeat staggered and the bottom dropped out of her stomach.
Plus, there was the whole kiss thing, too. She hadn’t been able to forget it. Hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it. Had spent the past several days on red alert, waiting for him to try it again so she could shut him down flat.
And he hadn’t tried.
Damn it.
“I used to think,” Kristi said softly, “that everything would be better if Sam just came home.” She paused for a sip of wine. “Now he has and it’s not better. It’s just... I don’t know.”
“He’s your brother, Kristi,” Lacy said, propping her feet on the coffee table and crossing them at the ankles. “You’re still mad at him, but you love him and you know you’re glad he’s back.”
“Do you?”
“Do I what?”
“Still love him.”
Lacy’s heart gave a hard thump. “That’s not the point.”
“It’s completely pointy.”
“Funny.” Lacy took a long drink of her wine and when she’d swallowed, said, “But this isn’t about me. Or what I feel.”
“So,” Kristi mused, a half smile on her face, “that’s a yes.”
“No, it’s not.” Because her heart hammered every time he was near didn’t necessarily mean love. Desire would always be there and that she could accept. Love was something else again and, “Even if it was, it wouldn’t matter.”
“You’re still mad, too.”
Lacy sighed. “Yeah. I am.”
“He’s worked really hard on the End of Season party,” Kristi grudgingly admitted. “Sam even called one of his old friends. Tom Summer? He has a band that’s really popular now and Sam talked Tom into bringing the band in for the party. Live music’s going to be way better than the stereo we had arranged.”
“Yes, it will.” Irritating to admit that Sam had so easily arranged for a good band when everyone Lacy had spoken to about playing at the party had already been booked. He had friends everywhere and they were all as pleased to have him back as his family was. Here at Snow Vista, it was a regular Celebration of Sam. And Lacy was the only one not playing along. Well, okay, there was Kristi, as well. But she would eventually join the parade—Sam was her brother and that connection would win in the end.
