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The Mountaineer was located on a quiet dead-end street between a children's boutique and a gift shop, both of which were dark for the night. Across the street was a small, wooded park with some picnic tables and play equipment. Ethan apparently decided the park was the closest escape because he turned her toward the street, and, with a none-too-gentle grip, led her there.
On nice days, local businesspeople ate their lunches on the picnic tables that were scattered underneath the trees. Using the light of the street lamp to keep from stumbling, Ethan led her to the most secluded of the tables.
"Sit down."
She didn't appreciate his bossy manner, so instead of sitting on the bench where he indicated, she stepped up on it and sat on the tabletop. He had no intention of relinquishing his authority by sitting below her, so he took a place at her side.
His legs were longer than hers, and they bent at a sharper angle. As she glanced over at him, she thought she saw him looking down her top, but when she heard the stuffy note in his voice as he spoke, she decided she'd been wrong.
"I'm your pastor, and the fact that a single woman in my congregation is carrying around a condom is very much my business."
Why was he acting like this? Ethan always respected people's choices, even if he didn't agree with them, and she'd heard his youth-group lectures on sexual responsibility. He vehemently preached abstinence, but he was also blunt about birth control and AIDS prevention.
"Every single woman in your congregation who's sexually active had better be carrying some of these around," she observed.
"What do you mean, sexually active? Who are you—I mean—But—How—"
Ethan Bonner, known for his sexual straight talk, was sputtering. He finally gathered himself together. "I didn't know there was a man in your life."
The last of her fuzzy pink cloud evaporated, and a sort of desperate boldness took its place. What, after all, did she have to lose? "How would you? You don't know anything about my life."
He seemed genuinely shocked. "We've known each other since elementary school. You're one of my oldest friends."
"Is that the way you see me?"
"Of course."
"You're right, I'm your friend." She swallowed, mustering her courage. "But you're not mine, Ethan. Friends know things about each other, but you don't know anything about me."
"What do you mean? I know lots about you."
"Like what?"
"I know your parents, the house where you grew up. I know that you broke your arm two years ago. I know lots of things."
"A hundred people know things. But they don't know me. Who I am."
"You're a decent, hardworking Christian woman, that's who."
"It was no use. She had tried to talk honestly to him," but he wouldn't hear. She began to stand on the bench. "I have to go."
"No!" He drew her back down. In the process, her breast brushed the side of his arm. He drew back as if he'd touched radioactive waste.
"Look, I'm—I'm not trying to offend you. Your sex life is your business, not mine, but, as your pastor, I'm here to advise you."
She hardly ever got angry, but that sparked her temper. "I'm not asking for advice, Ethan, because I've already made up my mind! That condom is in my purse because I'm making changes in my life, and I want to be ready for them."
"Sex before marriage is a sin." He didn't sound at all like himself. He shifted uneasily next to her, as if he realized he was being unbearably pompous. Once again, his gaze seemed to linger on her breasts. He looked away.
She spoke forcefully. "I believe it's a sin, too. But I also believe there's a hierarchy of sins. Don't try to tell me that murder and sexual molestation don't rank a lot higher on the list than a thirty-year-old unmarried woman finally deciding she's had enough of being a virgin."
She waited for him to express some surprise at her untouched state, but he didn't, and her spirits sank even lower as she realized he assumed she was a virgin.
"With whom do you intend to have it?"
"I don't know yet, but I'm looking. He obviously has to be unmarried and intelligent. And sensitive." She emphasized the last word, so that he'd understand this was a quality he'd never possess in a thousand years.
He bristled like a porcupine. "I can't believe you're ready to throw away a lifetime of propriety for a few carnal thrills."
