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“Holy.Shit.This. Is.Awesome!”
“I’m not sure what it is. My head is spinning a bit. He says it’s just sex because he’s not ready for anything more, but Jesus God above, Roni. It was incredible sex.”
She lets out a high-pitched scream that’s drowned out by the roar of the surf. “This is the best thingever!”
“You aren’t going to make me sorry I told you, are you?”
“Of course not. I’ll get it all out while we’re on the beach, and when we go back, I’ll be the picture of decorum.”
I crack up laughing.
The two of us end up holding each other up as we laugh our asses off.
“Ah, it feels good to laugh,” I tell her, hooking my arm through hers to walk a little farther down the beach.
“And it feels good to get back in the saddle, too, right?”
“If by ‘feels good,’ you mean I can barely walk, then yes, it feels good.”
“Right there with you, girlfriend. Everything I’ve got is aching from being back in the saddle, but it’s a good kind of ache. The best kind. Even if the other ache is still there.”
“Yeah, because God forbid we should get to feel only the joy without the sorrow casting a shadow over everything.”
“That’s the price we pay for having loved Patrick and Mike the way we did. That we’ll suffer over losing them for the rest of our lives.”
“I think I’m the one who taught you that.”
“Probably, so think of it as a reminder that what you’re feeling is totally normal, or totally normal in the new normal.”
“I love and hate the new normal equally.”
“I do, too. Like, how can I feel this happy about being in love with Derek when Patrick is gone forever? When he’ll never get to meet his son?”
“It’s unfathomable.”
“Yep.”
“But wonderful, too. You and Derek are beautiful together, the way he waited for you to be ready… Swoon.”
“So much swoon. Sometimes I wonder if Patrick didn’t orchestrate our meeting because he wanted someone there for me.”
“I wouldn’t put it past him from everything you’ve told me. That man loved you with his whole heart and soul.”
“He really did. So, what’s going to happen now with Gage?”
“I have no idea. We had a fun weekend, and that might be all it is. He got to break his widow cherry—”
Roni loses it laughing again. “His widow cherry. You’re too funny.”
“Well, what would you call it?”
“That works for me. I lost mine this weekend, too. Who knew there’d be so much cherry popping when we planned this weekend away?”
“Not me, that’s for sure.”
“I still can’t believe you got in bed with him. That’s so ballsy.”
“The liquid courage made me do it, even if I’m still pretending to him that it was all a big misunderstanding.”
