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Samuel’s bloodshot eyes portray his sadness, but unlike me, he has been stiff-lipped the past twenty-four hours and not shed a tear in front of me. We’re the only ones standing in the private hangar with the two pilots already boarded and two other flight attendants.
“Call me when you arrive in New Zealand.” His large hand cups Rose’s cheek.
I nod quickly. “I will and again when we touch down in Adelaide.”
He pulls me close, careful not to smother Rose, who’s cuddled into my chest. My bones are weak, the sadness seeps deep, and the littlest pressure could send me to my knees. God, I wanted to drop to my knees several times and beg him not to send us away.
“Ask Asoo to keep me updated. I know time gets away from you, but every minute will feel like days to me,” I croak.
“And me. I don’t want to go around in circles, but it’s for the best. I’ll be with you in a month or so.” He kisses the side of my cheek, and I grab his arm to stop him from pulling away.
“It’s too long. How quickly can you speed up the final documents in Caracas to end your contract?” I reach up with my spare hand and cup his neck, so his lips lower closer to mine. I kiss him through the tears and the burn in my throat, so he knows he’s my everything, and I hate being apart from him for a second, let alone weeks.
“Sir,” the flight attendant interrupts. “They have given us clearance, and we need to get the plane on the runway.”
Our lips break away, and Samuel leans his forehead against mine. “You’re the love of my life, Eden.” A sob escapes my throat. “My heart will be with you and Rose. Take care of it until I can be with you both again.”
I can’t stop my face from squishing when an ugly cry threatens to undo every inch of composure I have left. Tears roll down Samuel’s cheeks. His demeanor cracks. “Go,” he rasps. “Please go.” His voice breaks, and like me, his face screws up in pain.
“One month,” I say to confirm our separation. “I’ll see you in one month.”
The flight attendant takes the bags at my feet. Samuel waves to me and turns, then keeps walking. He doesn’t look back. Not once. Head down, long strides, he walks out of the hangar and around the back to where a black Audi awaits him. His father ensured Samuel had enough money to cover us for a quick departure, and now Samuel can drive himself back to the international departures section and catch a flight to Venezuela.
“I’m Daryl,” the attendant says with a Spanish accent. He walks beside me holding my three carry-on bags filled with what I need for the next twenty hours for Rose.
“Jenna is a nurse and will assist you with any needs on board.” Daryl offers a warm smile, only right now, I doubt anything will help with the gaping hole in my chest. The neckband of my shirt is wet from the tears spilling off my chin and onto my chest.
I climb the stairs and take the first step into the luxurious furnishings of the jet. There are white leather lounge chairs wide enough to transform into beds. To the side are lacquered wooden tables. Lush carpet runs the length of the plane. Up front, a glass bar catches my eye with stools strategically placed in an arc for guests. Samuel and his father must have paid a mint for this. The thought makes me angry. Normally, Samuel lives a simplified life and places no value on money. If we’d waited, I could’ve flown using my return ticket and not wasted a shitload of money unnecessarily just to get me home early. Rose’s immunity is the point he emphasized in his reasoning for the private jet. Yet, for the sake of a few weeks, he could’ve saved himself at least one hundred thousand dollars. The thought of him going behind my back angers me, and right now, I’m using the anger to stop the tears.
Jenna points to a seat that’s more like a luxurious lounge suite. I force a smile. “Ms. Monteford, I need you to adjust your seat belt until we’re in the air. I’m here if you need anything after take-off, including assisting you with feeding and minding Rose when you use the restroom and to make sure you get adequate sleep. I’ll monitor Rose for any signs of distress, including difficulty in breathing. The lower air pressure may be problematic, and the changing cabin pressure may cause her to have some ear pain. As soon as you’re settled, I’ll get you to feed her, so she’s sucking during take-off and again on each descent.”
I undo the clip under my right armpit, so my top falls away to reveal my right breast—quite the invention for feeding mothers. I unclip the cup of my maternity bra, which would have to be the ugliest bra I have ever worn, and tease Rose’s mouth with my nipple. Apparently, my nipple isn’t enticing. “Rose,” I whisper. I run my fingers over her cheek so she turns her head. A few more attempts, and she opens her mouth to attach. I nod at Jenna. “She has been slow attaching the last week.”
“It’s not unusual in premature babies.” Her hand rubs my arm. She wraps an additional strap over Rose and attaches it to my belt. “This is just until we’re in the air.”
Jenna signals to Daryl we are ready, and the plane crawls along a path as we head toward the runway.
When the nose is pointed upward to the sky, I lean my head back and close my eyes, wishing it didn’t have to be this way. I swallow the lump in my throat to even out the pressure in my ears. The plane levels, and I look out my window to the city disappearing below. Within minutes, the view turns green with the vast rainforest covering much of the country. A world where I belonged. A world so far from the one where I live.
Tears fill my eyes like wells and fall onto my cheeks. I can’t fight the gnawing pain in my chest any longer. But my tears aren’t only for Samuel. This was probably my last visit to Ulara—the last time I’ll see my friends again. I screw up my eyes, knowing Kaikare will expect me to return with Samuel. What will she think?
Samuel told me they were to migrate soon. If they do, we will never know their whereabouts—only that they were heading closer to the Colombian jungle and then south to the Peruvian jungle. A journey that could take months—even years. Kaikare may never meet my father, nor will she see me or her niece again. In those last weeks together, I’m glad I gave her a photo of us even though Samuel warned me against it. I smile. Kaikare and I are family, and we did secretive things so the men didn’t get upset. Her eagerness to know more reflected she had some of my grandmother’s blood flowing through her veins.
In Ulara, I was brave and free.
My Gran, Kaikare, and I may be wild at heart, yet we’re courageous, strong women. Now Rose will join our legacy. I wonder if she’ll have the same drive to return to where she was born to find her jungle spirit?
Wiping away the tears that land on Rose’s head, I look back to the window and watch as the vivid green fades and the clouds block out my view.
Through the heartache and frustration, I can’t help my concern for Samuel. Not only for his safety. How will the shaman react to him for sending us away?
* * *
“We have begun our descent into New Zealand,” Jenna whispers. “Do you want me to take Rose for you?”
I stretch out the kinks in my neck and force my eyes to open. Despite the comfort of a bed on a jet, I barely slept with my thoughts whirling about the future. “No, it’s fine,” I murmur. Pushing up onto my elbows, I reach for Rose sleeping in a small crib beside me.
“Let me help you.” Jenna lifts Rose and waits for me to sit up. After adjusting the pillows behind my back, I then hold out my arms for my daughter.
