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Then that is how it will end. I now know my game plan. There’s no way I can give him all of me like he wants, and if I can’t escape then the only way out is death.
His death.
By my hands.
One day I will get close enough to make that a reality and finally this nightmare can end.
“When will you realise that everything I do is because I love you.” If he wasn’t a psychopath intent on causing me pain, that would be romantic.
“What will it take?” His voice is just above a whisper and actually sounds like it holds real feelings.
I don’t need to think, I look him straight in the eye and answer him. “For you to stop hurting me.”
He looks at me like I’ve wounded him, like I’ve stabbed him in the chest. His eyes penetrate mine, so intense they could burn a hole right through me.
“That.” He clears his throat, and I see his neck strain. “I can’t do. But it’s up to you how painful or pleasurable that is for you. You will get back in the swing of things.”
A tear falls, and it came from nowhere.
“No. I won’t.” I shake my head. “I’m not playing your games anymore.”
“Do you remember the first time?”
My entire body freezes, and I know where this is going. He isn’t talking about the first night we were together. He’s talking about the first time I realised what life was truly going to be like. Right after the first time I tried to leave. My body shudders, and his lips turn into a satisfied grin.
“It’s somewhat poetic that our first night together after so long would be reminiscent of that time.”
He glances over his shoulder, and I follow his gaze. That’s when I see it. His play bag. How could I have missed that?
It’s hard to fight the urge to give up, to succumb and obey just to avoid the pain. So strong, the urge to survive. But for what? To live like this with him forever.
I can’t.
No, I won’t.
“I won’t be your puppet anymore. That girl is gone.” I vow with every fibre of my being.
He cracks his neck, his patience waning. “You do know I still have many, many men scouting the streets for stock to fill orders. You think I missed your little night out, with what do you call it, some hanger on that isn’t important to you. Back for such a short time, and she was the first person you called?”
My eyes narrow, and I know he’s talking about Ria.
“Or how about that pretty virgin you so graciously saved from being ripped apart. Is that any motivation for you?”
“Ren would kill anyone that touches his sister,” I spit out.
The slap is swift, and hard. His back hand connects with my face, and my cheek explodes in pain. My mouth instantly swells, and I feel warm blood trickle from my lip.
“You. Do. Not. Say. His. Name.” He grabs my chin to look at me in the eyes. “Now, I think it’s time you start apologising. You’ve hurt me deeply.”
My eyes prickle with tears, and I clench my jaw in defiance.
“You can’t escape punishment for your actions. You know that.” He roughly lets go of my chin. “But you can prevent yourself from gaining more. You would be smart to wise up and realise there is no one coming to get you. There is nowhere to run.”
He reaches into the inner pocket of his jacket and takes out my old engagement ring, holding it out for me. “Now, let’s put this back where it belongs.”
My body rejects wanting to take it. I hate it, and him and this entire fucking situation. But that look on his face is frightening and saying no is imminent pain. My hands tremble as I take the ring from his fingers. I try to place it on the top of my ring finger, but I fumble the attempt several times. Eventually it slides down and as it does, something breaks inside me. It wasn’t that long ago Ren’s ring sat there proudly, wholeheartedly knowing it was right.
I pause.
