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Gabriella Vitali
Loving mother
Best friend
Heart of the family
We will always have an angel by our side.
I swallow the lump and blink back the tears, pushing them away. I move on to a photo that has me smiling. I’m not sure what I’m looking at, but I can’t get past the velvet green and red bows. And it’s not Amari wearing them. Two little Ren and Dante’s actually smile in the accompanying green suspenders and knee-high shorts with their bow ties tight around their necks. Amari is there, in a puffy white dress looking like a princess. Her and Dante are holding hands, and it’s so adorably cute. I take a sip of my drink, a grin on my lips and let the warmth of the alcohol and photo spread throughout my body.
“She used to make us have pretend weddings,” Ren’s low husky voice fills the room like music.
My eyes close, and it takes me a moment to compose myself, or maybe prepare myself. After this morning, I’d be happy with never seeing him again, it sure as hell would make this all easier.
I open my eyes, take a deep breath in, and try to keep my voice even.
“Pretend weddings?” I don’t need to ask who, I know. “No wonder you swore off them. That’s some bowtie.”
His low chuckle sounds closer than he was before. Silently, he closes the space between us. But it’s his smell that lets me know he’s made it right behind me - a mix of cologne and something uniquely Ren that makes my heart beat a little faster. I have to step away, to keep distance between us because being close to him is intoxicating.
The next photo is her and she looks stunning in a formal dress and hair styled in loose curls.
“She is very beautiful,” I say.
He moves with me and walks to the frame, lifting the photo from the mantle and gently traces his fingers over her face. He’s lost the suit he normally wears and is dressed in jeans and a tight-fitting white shirt. His top buttons are undone, and his sleeves are rolled up to his elbows, showing his tan muscled arms. He looks sexy and dangerous, but when he stares at the photo, I can see the love and sadness in his eyes.
“Yes, she was.” He tenderly places the frame back in its place. “She’s the real reason.”
He turns back to face me, and our eyes lock. The moment seems to last forever, and it takes me a second to hear the words, too distracted by him. His sight, his smell. He’s attacking all my senses, lighting them on fire and bringing them to life.
I should look away, maybe even run again, but instead of being smart, all I want is to know more. “The real reason?”
The silence surrounds us, and his eyes penetrate mine as the question hangs in the air. It’s like he can see straight into me, like he actually sees me, the real me.
“The reason I swore I would never get married.”
“How old were you?”
“Ten.” He looks back to the photo, lost in a memory.
While he’s distracted, I pull myself together and turn to face the photos. There’s something about this moment that’s not just scary, it’s paralysing. It’s too raw, too real, like we’re crossing over a line of some sort. I keep my eyes forward, and away from him, but my heart still breaks at the sound of his words.
“I’m sorry,” I say, and I really am.
I know just as much as anyone what it’s like to not have a mother. I couldn’t even imagine how hard it must’ve been to get to have one than lose her.
“That must have been hard.” Lilly, stop this right now.
I try and tell myself, and I really should listen.
“It was horrible, of course,” he says, and I know he’s watching me. I feel it and see him from my side. “Probably harder on Amari. She was a lot younger. She didn’t understand for a long time. A little girl needs her mama.”
A hole feels like it’s ripped open in my stomach. Sadness? Bitterness? Either way, I know words won’t be able to leave my mouth, so I just nod.
“She was my father’s weakness in every way. He would do anything for her. Could never say no to her,” he says, then chuckles.
The sound alone gets me to turn and face him. My body deciding for me. But his smile slowly fades, the warmth gone, the light behind his eyes darkens.
