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The way he seemed—for brief moments, anyway—like he couldn’t believe it was happening. He acted resigned to his fate after I’d chosen him, but I couldn’t sense regret in his kisses, couldn’t hear it in his words when he spoke to me as he guided me through my first time.
There wasn’t much tenderness, but there was the promise that this might be—could be—more. If we let it. But that had to be wishful thinking on my part.
My eyes drift to the gate, and I see that it’s cracked open. A small thrill runs through me as I realize that I can run. I could slip through, and maybe I’d even get far enough to find a phone and call…him. Guido. He’d come for me, but then what?
I start the cycle all over? There’s no taking back what I’ve already given to Kane, so what use am I to him now?
I start down the path, the one that winds through the trees, and the air almost smells different with the gate open like that.
I stop at the very edge of the little orange copse and look over my shoulder at the house—tall and looming. It’s the place of my pleasure and my torment, but I don’t feel fear as I look back at it. I feel something entirely different.
The gate seems further now, but I know why. My decision was made long before Phoenix’s name spilled from my lips—long before Kane told me the truth. Freedom is an illusion no matter where you are. All that matters is the size of your cage.
Turning on my heel, I walk back to the house and head for the kitchen again, determined to make this place feel like home. My stomach is empty, so I decide to whip up some breakfast for myself because no one told me I couldn’t do that now that I’m here. Now that I’m one of them.
Cooking is almost like meditating, and I’m halfway into an omelet when the sound of footsteps breaks through my swirling thoughts.
For a second, I hope it’s Phoenix. Then I turn my head and catch a flash of red hair and pale, freckled skin. My heart ticks up as I remember the last time I was alone with Ari and all the things he did. All the dangerous desperation he made me feel.
I take a deep breath at the sight of his smirk and ask, “Are you hungry?”
He huffs quietly, maybe a laugh. There’s a long silence, and then his bare feet tap on the tiles as he approaches and slings an arm around my waist.
His full lips press against my pulse.
I want to sink into his warmth, but instead, I focus on the food. It doesn’t take long to finish, but before I can reach for a plate, Ari slides the pan over to a cool burner, then turns me in his arms. He backs me into the counter—hard—and without any sort of warning, he kisses me.
It takes me a second, but only a second, before I’m giving as good as he does. I sink my teeth into his lower lip, and he makes a sort of growling purr in his chest as he thrusts his tongue into my mouth, holding my lips apart with his thumb.
My head spins, and I arch into him as his half-hard dick rubs against my thigh, but before I can get too lost, he pulls away with a wet pop. His pupils are blown wide, and his eyelids are heavy, and he’s staring at me like he doesn’t know if he wants to do that again or rip me apart.
I lick my lips, chasing the lingering taste of mint from his tongue. “I woke up alone.”
That wasn’t what I meant to say, but I don’t take it back.
He regards me with something like indifference, and then he gives a sharp nod before pulling his phone out of his pocket. I watch as he pulls up a notepad and starts to type.Learn to sign.
I laugh—I can’t help it. “That’s kind of the goal? Especially if I’m going to be staying here. I went to Phoenix’s library to steal some ASL books, but apparently, that was a trap.”
He grins up at me, shrugging without any kind of apology, and then he types again. The words make my heart threaten to beat out of my chest.Kane let Phoenix go.
The world suddenly feels tilted on its axis, and I’m not sure I can stay upright. “He’s gone? But I…but he said…he gave me the choice. I told him I would choose someone else if—”
Ari’s hand on my neck allows me to take a breath, and I look at him with panicked eyes. He’s keeping my gaze, but in my periphery, I can see his thumb working over his phone. It moves from the notepad to something that looks like grainy video footage, and then suddenly, I hear voices.
“…think they would at least get better coffee after this fucking long.”
“Oh, shut up. You’ve been at home, not trapped in a cave. Stop being such a goddamn baby.”
“I’m not being a baby. I just have expectations, asshole.”
“Call me an asshole again and that’s what you’ll be having for your next meal, love.”
James. And Phoenix.
I look up at Ari, who rolls his eyes and flicks back to his notepad.They’re on a date. It’s the first time Phoenix has been allowed out in years.
“Why?” I whisper.
