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WELL,ITWASpartly true. He was tired. But more than that, he was heartsick. He’d pushed Debby’s infidelity and Anyu’s loss to the back of his mind for too long already. He’d never dealt with either of those problems.
When he got home that night, it all hit him at once. He stared at the sofa where he’d spent so many nights with Anyu curled up beside him, watching movies or DVDs or the occasional science or History Channel episode. He could never forget those gorgeous blue eyes laughing up at him. Anyu was his comfort after Debby was gone; the puppy she’d left to, according to the message, the most important man in her life. But Debby didn’t seem to think of him as that important. She rarely came home because of “obligations” at the Denver hospital where she worked; those obligations being her mentor, the doctor who’d almost killed himself after her death.
He wondered now if her feelings for her colleague were really love or just making sure that she continued to be his protégée, so that she could learn all the revolutionary methods he was teaching her. That education would have put her on a fast track to a much higher position in the medical hierarchy.
Until he’d gone to Denver and accidentally found out about his late wife’s social activities, he’d never given that much thought to her advancement in her career. But she was really focused on making a lot of money, and working her way up the medical specialist ladder was the way to do it. She’d shared her dreams with him, going over and over about how important it was to be the best, and for that, she’d added, you needed to be trained by the best. So nice, she’d added, that she had such a good mentor or that he made sure she was up on all the newest techniques in neurosurgery.
That poor doctor was like Cody, a stepping-stone to Debby’s success. He’d been so besotted that he hadn’t realized how ambitious she was. Apparently, so had her mentor in Denver. She’d used both men for reasons of her own, neither of which had anything to do with love eternal.
Cody could have kicked himself for not realizing it sooner, for not wondering why she never came home, why she was so uncaring about him, why she was so wrapped up in getting to the top of her particular niche in medicine.
He’d had a small beagle dog when he and Debby had started dating. She’d never liked Barney. Now that he looked back, he realized that she didn’t like animals at all. She tolerated the dog, but Barney was banished to the kitchen or back porch when Debby came to visit—which wasn’t often. Debby had asked him once why he didn’t give the dog away. He’d ignored the question, something he’d learned to do a lot while Debby was in residence. Barney had died not long after he and Debby married.
In bed, she was ice-cold after they’d been married, nothing like the hot-blooded woman who’d gone home with him the night they met. After the wedding, on her rare visits, she only wanted it over. He’d wondered at the time if it was some trauma in her past, but when he’d asked her, point-blank, she’d said that she just couldn’t get into something so carnal. She liked discussing history with him, something he was very good at. He had a good brain, even if Debby thought he wasn’t living up to his full potential in law enforcement work. She’d never understood why he did the job. He tried to explain his own childhood, in which she was supremely disinterested, and why it predisposed him to a job that involved helping other people out of life-threatening situations. She said that death was a part of life and it just happened. She had no compassion for other people, not even for Cody.
He permitted himself to wonder how such a cold person could be a doctor. Most of them were ultrasensitive to other people, going out of their way to help anyone with physical trauma. Not Debby. She was interested in how much she could earn when she got to the top of the tree.
She talked about it, about the huge fees she could command, about the places she wanted to go, the things she wanted to see. He told her once that he wouldn’t be able to take long vacations due to the obligations of his job. She’d given him a blank look and asked why he’d want to go in the first place.
So many red flags, and he’d never seen them. Correction, he’d never wanted to see them. He’d been so much in love, living in his fairy-tale life, with his perfect wife who came sometimes to visit. There were a hundred questions he’d never asked. It was a little late in the day to be asking them now.
He remembered how devastated he’d been when Debby died, raging at Abby and Lucy in the parking lot, yelling at them that they’d killed her. He cringed at the memory. It had left emotional scars on the woman and the child, and for what? He was grieving for a fictional woman who didn’t even exist. The real Debby was cold as ice with a cash register for a heart. If Cody had died, she’d have wanted to know how much what he left her was worth, and she wouldn’t have blinked an eye at his passing.
He got himself a cold beer out of the refrigerator and sank down on the sofa. He wasn’t on call tonight, thank God, or he wouldn’t be drinking. He turned on the History Channel and tried to get interested in a program on Alexander the Great, but he was restless and he couldn’t settle.
He looked again at the sofa where Anyu had been beside him for that long six years. He’d been mourning old Barney at the time, so Anyu was a delightful surprise. He recalled now that he wasn’t even supposed to have Anyu. Debby had meant him for the other doctor, her mentor, and wires had gotten crossed so that Cody ended up with her.
Well, it had been a sweet accident, he told himself wistfully. Anyu had been part of him for all those wonderful years until her death. He’d never had a pet as a child. His alcoholic father would have been deadly to any pet Cody kept in the house, a perfect tool for revenge when Cody called the law on his brutal parent.
Anyu had been a breath of spring. He missed her so much. She was getting some age on her. She hadn’t moved as fast as she once did, and it was a chore for her to jump onto the sofa. Cody had finally gotten her a pair of wooden steps. She had arthritis and medicine for it. She must have been in pain a lot, but she always looked up at Cody with those laughing blue eyes. Nothing ever got Anyu down. He missed her terribly, regardless of the act of fate that had put her in his house.
He ran a hand through his thick hair and thought about Abby. Things were getting serious there, but he wasn’t certain that he was ready for thoughts of marriage. It was a commitment he wasn’t sure he could make. He liked living by himself. He enjoyed just sitting and watching what he pleased on TV. That wouldn’t be possible with Abby and Lucy and Hannah around. The cooking would improve, certainly, but his house only had two bedrooms, not nearly enough for four people. Of course, he could move in with Abby. Plenty of room at the ranch...
He had another sip of beer. Plenty of time to think about that later on. He pulled the History Channel back up and finished watching Alexander the Great.
TWODAYSLATER, he hadn’t called Abby or gone to see her. The little blonde trooper had come by, again, just to say hello. She really was lovely, Cody thought, trying not to feel guilty for giving her coffee in his office.
“This is really good coffee,” she sighed. “I like Colombian best. Is that what this is?” she added, wide-eyed.
“I don’t really know,” he began.
“Definitely Colombian,” Lassiter said from behind him.
“You’re in lockup,” Cody said curtly.
“My dad bailed me out again,” he replied, his dark eyes going to the pretty blonde trooper, who was looking at him with the same expression most women had when they met him. Cody was quietly irritated.
“J.R. Lassiter, Miss...” He hesitated. “I don’t know your name.”
She laughed. Even the laughter was pretty. “Bella,” she said. “Bella Cain.”
“Nice to meet you,” Lassiter said, and shook hands, holding hers just a little too long.
“Oh, the pleasure is mine,” she replied.
He pulled up a chair and sat down, ignoring Cody’s guilty look. Lassiter knew he was courting Abby, and here he sat flirting with another woman. It was embarrassing.
“You work around here? Sorry,” he added on a laugh, “I’m not up on small area protocols. I live in Houston.”
