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I bring my face back up to look at her. "Of what?"
“There’s so much pain between us,” she mutters.
I cup her face in my hands so she’s looking right at me. “You know you can leave that pain in the past. It doesn’t have to ruin our future.” I’m starting to feel desperate. I want her more than I want to breathe right now.
“But if I give into this and it all falls apart again, I don’t think I could survive,” she whispers, and I see how vulnerable she really is right now.
“Don’t overthink this, baby. It doesn’t have to be anything more than us spending the night together because we both want to.”
Her sad eyes search mine. “There are things you don’t know,” she whispers. “Things no one knows.”
“Are you here with me? Do you want this?"
"Yes, more than anything. I fucking need this."
"Then nothing else matters right now except for how much we want each other. The rest we can work out later.” There is nothing she could tell me that would change my mind. She is mine, she always has been.
CHAPTER TWELVE
CASSANDRA
Igetlostinhis eyes. They promise me the world. He’s right, I want him. I know my heart still holds a place for him, this time away has proven that. But what I don’t know is if I’m ready for the backlash when everyone else finds out about us, mainly my family. But I agree, that’s all a later problem. Right now, I just want to experience what it would be like to feel safe in his arms again, to open my heart to something more.
Without another thought, I kiss him back with all the pent-up frustration I have felt toward him since the first day I laid eyes on him again. It feels more right than I ever thought it could, like this is what I have been missing in my life. His hands sweep into my hair, pulling our faces closer together as he takes over. My hands twist into his shirt, and I grip him like hanging on will keep us like this forever, locked in a perfect kiss.
I have no idea how long we stay like this, making out in the hotel hallway, but when we finally pull back from each other just a little, I know I have made the right decision. The way he looks at me tells me all I need to know.
“My life wasn’t the same without you in it,” he tells me, and it makes my heart beat faster because I know just what he means.
I have no words to say back to him. For the first time in a long time, I’m feeling teary, overwhelmed with emotions I don’t understand. So I kiss him again, showing him every bit how much I missed him too. I tug on his shirt, pulling him toward the door to my room. This moment is too intimate to share out here in the hotel hallway. I need to be alone with him.
“Are you sure?” he asks.
And I know what his question is implying, and honestly, I’m a little scared after what I went through, but I want this at the same time. The desire outweighs the fear. “Yes, I want you.”
“Good.” Heat flares in his eyes, and a flush of desire washes through me knowing just how badly he wants me.
I find the key in my pocket and open the door. I pull him in with me, my lips back on his as we clumsily stumble through the door. This time he’s more desperate, like letting him into my room has given him the okay to go for it. And I love it. This is the Brandon I know. I’m just as bad, tugging his shirt over his head, needing to have my fingertips gliding over the smooth muscles of his chest.
“I need you naked.” He searches the fabric of my dress, looking for a zipper, and I pull back from him.
“It’s under here.” I laugh, making a show of unfastening it and shimmying out. The soft floral fabric falls to the floor. I want my clothes off, the frantic need to have his eyes on me. I run my hands over my tummy and up, cupping my breasts. His hands are back on me, running over my ass, then traveling up my body, tracing the same path I took. He pinches my nipples, and I moan into his mouth.
“You have a beautiful body,” he compliments me, his gaze lingering on my breasts, and I’m sure he’s noticing how they’ve grown since he laid his eyes on me last. One of the downfalls of dancing so much, I used to have no shape whatsoever. But now I sport perky B-cups and a compact ass that he is definitely enjoying the feel of. He nips at my neck, his hands sliding over the lace fabric of my bra and around the back to the clasp which he unfastens with ease. “I’m going to take my time enjoying every little inch of you tonight.”
I make an "mmm" sound of agreeing with him, but I'm already unable to construct sentences. All I can think of is his body moving with mine and how amazing it's going to feel after so fucking long. His hands come back to my breasts, palming them, bringing my nipples to stiff peaks. His hands are rough, and the feel of them on my skin is making me weak at the knees.
I press my body into the wall behind me for support. My eyes flutter closed as I enjoy the moment. This is something I have only let myself think of in my dreams, him exploring my body. And this time, I need to remember this moment, how every brief touch feels, just in case it never happens again and like when I was a teenager, I’m left with just a memory of him.
He places stubbly kisses down my body, and I enjoy the way they scratch at my skin, down my chest, as he stops to suck at my nipples. He rolls his tongue over each one while he palms the other roughly with his hand. I push my body into him, greedy for more. At this point I don't just want it, Ineedit. The heat of his body next to mine, the roughness of his touch, the way I know only he can dominate me. Sex with Brandon is different to any other, and as much as I have been fighting it, this is what I crave.
He continues down over my flat stomach. He takes hold of my thong, dragging it slowly down my legs. “Is this some sort of slow torture?” I gasp. “You know I have waited a long time to be fucked by you again, right?”
He chuckles. “You can’t be as desperate as I am, but I want to taste you first. I need your sweet juices on my tongue.”
That last comment has my insides clenching. “I want that too,” I murmur, the anticipation all too much. No other man knows how to bring me undone like he does.
He lifts one of my legs and positions me so it’s hooked over his shoulder. I should feel exposed like this, but the pleasure I can already see all over his face just from the sight of me makes me love it. He drops his face toward my pussy and inhales, smelling my scent. “Fucking beautiful,” he murmurs, before tasting me with a long lick, his tongue gliding through my folds.
