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“It seems like you have a really good relationship with your parents.” I’m happy for Brady—and Theo, by extension—but it makes me envious since my relationship with my parents isn’t as easy.
“Yeah. It might be a little unconventional. I mean, you’ve met my mom. And like I told you, growing up in a household where I could just be myself and there was no judgment was a blessing, I think. Though my dad wasn’t always like that.”
“Oh no?” I shift so I’m propped up on my arm and can look him in the eye.
He shakes his head. “No, that’s all my mom’s influence over the years. And believe me, she can be a bit much, as I’m sure you can imagine.”
I laugh.
“When I was eighteen, she asked me if I’d tried anal yet. Whenever I had a girlfriend over growing up, she’d tell her to let her know if I was a selfish lover because she’d straighten me out.”
My hand flies up to cover my mouth. “Oh my god.”
“Right? The night I lost my virginity, she knew. I don’t know how, but I wasn’t in the door more than two minutes before she confronted me with it.” He shakes his head as if remembering. “But when I’d fuck up, they never held it against me. They made me take responsibility for it, but I never felt judged.”
“I think that’s a great way to be for your kids—a soft spot to land.”
He nods. “You’ve kind of alluded to the fact that you might not have the best relationship with your parents… any particular reason?”
I sigh. “My relationship with my parents is complicated. It became even more so when I dropped out of law school to be a full-time nanny.”
His eyes widen with surprise. “You were in law school?”
“Yeah, did the first two years. They were so disappointed in me when I left. I swear you’d think I had confessed to being a serial killer. It was like they could think of no worse fate for me than to not end up as a doctor or a lawyer. Then when I called off my engagement, things just got worse. They loved my ex and thought I was a fool for not trying to fix it.”
Brady’s forehead wrinkles. “Did they know he cheated on you?”
“Yup. But he was a catch. He was five years older than me and already working at a large law firm. My mom thought that I should at least try to make it work, that maybe it was a one-time lapse in judgment for him, but I knew better. He didn’t even seem to care that much when I confronted him. It was almost like he was relieved to have been caught so he didn’t have to put on the charade of being the doting fiancé anymore.”
Brady’s hand squeezes my hip. “You’re better off without him. He didn’t deserve you.”
I chuckle and sit up, pulling the sheet up under my armpits. “You don’t even know him.”
“I know that if he squandered you, he doesn’t deserve you. End of story.” The fierce glint in his eyes and the steel in his voice make me feel valued and safe.
I place a slow, languid kiss on his lips before rolling back onto my side. “Thank you.”
He gives me a sad sort of smile. “So why did you decide to become a nanny?”
I shake my head. “That’s the ironic part—a lot of the reason I decided to become a nanny was because of my parents. They spent all their money getting here from South Korea, so they had to work so hard when I was growing up that they were hardly ever around. They were always working at the restaurant. I spent a good part of my childhood working there too, from an early age. It wasn’t that I didn’t feel loved—I know they love me—but in some ways, it felt conditional. As long as I had the right grades, went to the right school, got a certain job, they were happy. If not, I just disappointed them.”
Brady strokes a piece of my hair behind my ear. “It sounds like the exact opposite of how I grew up.”
I nod. “It does. Don’t get me wrong, I never begrudged them for working so hard to give my brother and me everything we had, but they were always so absent and when they were around, they were so critical of everything. I’ve never felt good enough where they’re concerned.”
“You know that’s not true though, right?”
A sigh escapes me. “Intellectually, of course I do. But here.” I tap my chest over my heart. “Here is a little harder to convince.” He frowns, and I’m afraid a look of pity is going to slide onto his face, so I quickly continue. “Anyway, I took a part-time job in college as a nanny, and that’s when I realized that I enjoyed being the person to show children love and acceptance—even if they aren’t my own.”
Other memories from that experience try to push to the forefront, but I slide the lead wall in place. Brady must see something in my face though, because he studies me for a moment and the corners of his lips tip down.
“Anyway, when that job came to an end, I realized how much I would miss being a part of that little boy’s life and I asked myself why I was in law school when I really didn’t enjoy it. It became clear that I was there to please my parents and because I thought Ishouldbe there, so I quit. My parents were devastated, and it caused a real strain on our relationship.”
“That’s tough. I’m sorry.”
I shrug. “I know they love me, and I know they only want the best for me. It’s just that they seem to think they’re the only ones who know what that is. Especially my mom.”
His head tilts. “Have you tried telling them how you feel?”
