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Looking to the side, I realized there wasn’t a shoulder. Focusing on the progress I’d made thus far, I shifted my foot off the brake and slowly pushed on the gas pedal. I managed to reach a speed that didn’t anger those behind me, but I jumped every time someone came to a stop on a side road. This was the first time I’d met this much traffic since being in town. Maybe this had been the wrong time of day to make the trip. By the time I reached the shoe store, I was almost calm. Almost.
I flexed my hands, trying to think happy thoughts as I entered the store. The last thing I needed was to have a breakdown in front of a stranger. The news would be all over town by the time I got back home. New resident has a breakdown in Cooper’s Shoe Store. Research shows it’s not his first time. I could see the headlines now.
“Afternoon. Can I help you?”
The man behind the counter looked up from a little TV where it looked like he was watching a western. I swallowed hard, trying to find my voice. I should have practiced before walking through the door.
“I’m looking for shoes, a casual pair? I’m a size ten and a half.”
“Take a seat, and I’ll show you some options.”
I gladly took a seat, scanning the store. The space smelled like leather, most likely thanks to the wall of boots in the back. I reconsidered my initial request for a casual pair; maybe I needed some cowboy boots too. The man walked toward me from the back of the store, carrying three boxes. He took off the lids, handing them to me one at a time.
“Here you go. Will any of these work?”
“Possibly. I might need to look at a pair of boots too. What brand would you suggest for a beginner?”
An hour later, I left the store with a pair of boots, loafers, tennis shoes, and a flannel shirt. I could wear it over the shirt Shelby had picked out. I’d debated on buying all of it at one time, but I didn’t want to be in the same situation when the next social event came up. As I climbed into the driver’s seat, my stomach dropped, remembering the trip into town. I gripped the steering wheel, focusing on my breathing. Four counts in, hold for four breaths, four counts out. After a few rounds, I was ready to turn on the truck. It took a few more to actually leave the parking lot.
The ride home was much less eventful, thankfully. Still, I was exhausted by the time I got there, my hands aching from gripping the steering wheel with more force than normal. I put the bags on the table and checked the time before grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge. The panic attacks always left me parched. Gulping it down, I realized I probably needed a shower thanks to the cold sweat from the anxiety.
I headed to the bathroom and set the shower to maximum heat. I looked at the flannel hanging from the towel rack. I probably hadn’t needed it, but it went with the mountain theme. It also blended well with my new boots. Surprisingly, by the time I dried off, I felt normal. Well, normal for me anyway. Looking at myself in the mirror, I decided the ensemble wasn’t that bad, and I was shocked by how comfortable the boots were. I hoped it didn’t look like I was trying too hard.
In the living room, I downed another bottle of water. At this rate, I would miss most of the bonfire walking back and forth from the bathroom. If I didn’t get it together, Tara might never consider going out with me again.
There it was again. I was acting like this was a date and not just her helping me out of an awkward situation. It hit me that I wasn’t sure how I would react if I noticed she was treating it like a date too. Hell, it had been so long, would I even recognize the signs? I wondered how much dating had changed in the past ten years. I probably should have done a search on that.
At a quarter to 7:00, I grabbed my wallet, phone, and keys. There was no turning back now. In the truck, I blasted the air-conditioning. I would turn it off when I pulled into her driveway. For now, I didn’t want to be soaked in sweat when I arrived. On the drive over, I made a mental list of things we could talk about. It would be best if we focused on her. I didn’t want to scare her off. Of course, she might have already googled the hell out of me. If she had and still said yes to this outing, she was either crazy or had an ulterior motive. I wasn’t sure which would be better.
