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Just this morning, I was thinking about how little I wanted to go back to my shitty, cold apartment, but right now I feel as if I’d do just about anything to be back there, even if it means shivering beside a broken radiator. Anything to not be sitting across from this handsome, cold-faced man, being given options that are all bad.
I don’t want to do it, but I don’t see any way out. I don’t see an escape, and he knows where I live. He knows where mybabushkalives. No matter what I do, where I go, if he’s determined to have me do this, he’ll find me. And maybe it won’t be him who comes after me next, who scoops me up and drags me off to a room to be “convinced.”
Everything that he’s threatened, I believe that he’ll do. That alone would probably be enough to make me agree to it, in the end. For myself, I can hold out. But I can’t stand the thought that my grandmother might be left without electricity or heat or food, or even a place to live.
And now he’s sweetened the pot with a sum of money that would make a real difference to her quality of life, something that I’ve desperately been trying to achieve. I’m not a fool, I know she doesn’t have much more time. But all I want is for the time that she does have to be comfortable.
“Alright.” My voice is small and hesitant when it first comes out, and I clear my throat, squaring my shoulders and looking Levin squarely in the eye. Whatever comes of this, whatever I have to do, I won’t let him see me afraid. “Alright,” I repeat, more clearly this time. “I’ll do it. But I won’t step a foot out of this room or say a word to Grisha until that money is in my account and has been transferred to mybabushka.”
Levin’s mouth twitches, and not for the first time, I think he’s trying to hold back a smile. “You’re stubborn,” he says with a smirk. “It’s a quality that I can see is going to make my life harder, for sure. But I’ve half a mind to say you ought to work for us more often.”
“I won’t ever work for you, or anyone with you, ever again after this,” I tell him with a glare. “I’m doing this under duress, because you’ve forced me into it. Not because Iwantto. I don’t care what you think of me. Ihateyou.”
It’s not entirely true. A part of me, a part that I don’t want to examine too closely, feels warm and glowing at the way he called me “stubborn,” with something close to admiration in his voice, mixed with a sort of fond annoyance. Ishouldn’tcare what he thinks of me, but that tiny part of me does.
It’s the same part that felt a rush when he pinned me up against the door, and when he talked about tying me to the bed.
I’ve never met a man like Levin before. I mean it when I say I hate him—in this moment, Ido, but I’m also more than a little fascinated by him. He’s dangerous and handsome, cunning and mysterious—and I’m trapped in a hotel room with him, for who knows how long.
Which, actually, is a reasonable question to ask.
“I’ve agreed to your terms, as long as you meet your end of the bargain,” I tell him, tilting my chin up haughtily. “So when do I get to go back to my apartment?”
Levin smirks. “When I decide I can trust you not to pull all your money out and take the first train out of Moscow—and when I see some actual results. Until then, you’ll stay in this room, like I said. You’ll go out when I tell you to, in order to see Grisha. You’ll stay with him for whatever length of time is necessary to keep up the appearances of your relationship, and then you’ll come back here and report back to me.” He holds my gaze unflinchingly, his voice cold and terribly matter-of-fact. “You work for me now, Lidiya, for the price of your continued life and your grandmother’s life, sweetened with ten thousand US dollars. Your contract is up when I say it’s up, and not before then.”
I feel my throat tightening with anxiety at every word, my hands balling into fists. “When are you going to tell me what exactly it is that you need from Grisha?”
“Soon.” Levin gets up, his tall frame unfolding in front of me, and for a moment I’m nearly at eye-level with his groin, still sitting on the bed as I am. I can’t help it—my eyes flick towards his zipper, and I see the faint outline of his cock pressing against the denim of those tight black jeans.
He’s not hard any longer—maybe a little aroused at best, which just confirms what I’d felt when he had me up against the door…he’s fucking huge. Bigger than Grisha, that’s for sure.
That thought shouldn’t make my stomach tighten and a flush of warmth pool between my legs, but it does. A part of me even wants to push him, irritate him, just on the off-chance that I might get to feel it pressed up against me again.
But I’m also pretty sure that Levin isn’t the kind of man I want to start something with that I’m not sure I can finish. He might not be the type to force me, but I’m sure even he has his limits.
He steps past me, as if he didn’t notice at all, walking over to a leather duffel bag beside the dresser. I feel a sick flutter of anxiety as he reaches for it—god only knows what’s inside—but I have to trust that he isn’t going to hurt me. That he’s going to stick to his word.
That’s all there is between us, at this point. A fragile trust—that if I keep my word, he’ll keep his.
It isn’t much to start a relationship on, even a working one.
But it’s all we’ve got.
Lidiya
What Levin pulls out of the duffel bag is innocuous enough. It’s a phone—thin and black, a flip phone, so clearly a burner. He hands it to me, and though it’s light enough, it feels heavy. The weight of it settles in my palm, making this all viscerally real.Official.
Whatever shadowy organization Levin works for, whether it really is private or something to do with the government, whoever he’s working for or with and whatever Grisha has gotten himself mixed up in, I’m a part of it now. I don’t want to be, but there’s nothing I can do about it. The phone in my hand feels like confirmation of that fact.
“You’ll use this mostly to let me know when you’ve arrived at where you’re meeting Grisha at any given time, and when you’re headed back here after your time with him,” Levin says, sitting back down. “I’ll know exactly how long it will take you to get there and get back, so don’t think about any funny business between points A and B.”
“Why don’t you just put a tracker under my skin?” I snap, my voice laced with annoyance, and Levin raises an eyebrow.
“Too expensive,” he says flippantly. “But don’t give me any ideas.”
I swallow hard, looking down at the phone. “And if I’m in any kind of trouble?”
“Just hit the call button. It’s programmed to call my phone, I’m the one and only number in there.” He looks at me evenly. “Don’t abuse it. You’re to use that option if, and only if, you’re in serious danger. I don’t mean you’ve decided to change your mind, or you and Grisha had a little fight, or you’re pissed off and want to come back early. I mean if you’re in a life or death situation, if you feel you’re sincerely threatened, then press that button and I will come for you.”
