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Noah wanted to look away, wanted desperately to be anywhere else not having this conversation with the object of his obsession. ‘Enjoy you.’
Adriano’s tongue darted over his lower lip. ‘You enjoy me?’
‘As much as you seem to enjoy tormenting me,’ Noah said. He had to spell tormenting—he had no idea if there was even a sign for that, but he watched the way Adriano’s eyes followed the shapes of his fingers, the way they darkened even more.
‘I don’t want to make you feel bad, N.’
N—for Noah. ‘I’m embarrassed. Of course you knew I was a fan, but I…I enjoyed talking with you.’
‘Don’t you think it’s okay to be friends and a fan?’ Adriano challenged. He sat back a little, and Noah felt just a bit more air fill his lungs. ‘I don’t mind.’
Noah wanted to explain better how all this made him feel, but he supposed Adriano wouldn’t be able to understand what it was like to be a terrified virgin baker trapped in this small town.
‘You didn’t ask me to come,’ Adriano said, interrupting Noah’s thoughts. ‘I showed up. If anyone should feel bad, it’s me.’
Noah’s eyes widened. ‘No…’
Adriano’s hand darted out, touching his wrist, quieting his response. ‘I liked talking to you too. There was so much going on, and you were the first person that made me feel like more than just a public figure. Everyone wanted details. They wanted to make me bleed emotions.’
Noah’s heart twisted for him. ‘I’m sorry.’
Adriano shook his head, his smile soft. ‘You just asked me if I was okay. So simple but just what I needed.’ He reached out again, his big hand cupping Noah’s cheek, thumb tracing his jaw. Noah’s dick throbbed so hard it was a miracle he didn’t spill right then. He was on edge, though—too close—but Adriano pulled away just in time. “Thank you.”
Noah shifted. The weight of his jeans against his dick was too much. ‘I need…toilet,’ he spluttered. He was on his feet and racing for the bathroom before he could see Adriano’s response. The moment the door slammed, he ripped at his zipper. He got his dick out seconds before his balls went tight, and he shot, missing the toilet and hitting the edge of the sink. His moan was loud, ripping from his chest, and he panicked only for the second it took to remember Adriano wouldn’t hear it.
“Hell,” he said, the swearing too common since Adriano had shown up in his doorway. His sweaty hand dragged down the front of his face, and he forced himself to straighten up, to look in the mirror. His cheeks were so splotchy his freckles stood out like tattoos against his skin—dark and far too visible. His nostrils flared as his erratic breathing fought to go back to normal, and he wondered if losing his virginity was even possible at that point.
He’d spent years coming without touching himself, losing all restraint at the thought of Adriano’s hands on him. He laughed, the sound anguished and bitter because it would be absolutely no surprise if Noah had ruined himself for anyone else. After all, ruining everything was what he did—whether he wanted to or not. His limp, come-covered dick hanging out through the slit in his boxers was proof enough why he had no chance with Adriano, why Adriano shouldn’t even be there.
Noah took his time cleaning up the mess and washing his hands, and he was mostly put together by the time he stepped out. The pizza would be there soon, and he found Adriano on the sofa holding Jude on his lap. The cat was nowhere to be found, but that didn’t surprise Noah given the way he’d raced out of the room.
He gave a sheepish smile to the other man, who beckoned him to sit back down, and Noah appreciated being able to lower to the cushions without the weight of his erection between his legs.
‘Sorry,’ he started, but Adriano waved him off.
‘Are you okay? You looked like you were going to be sick.’
Noah shook his head. ‘No, I’m not sick. It’s been a long day. Long week.’Long life, he thought, but he didn’t add that. It felt wrong to drop his angst and frustration on this man who had come seeking some peace from the mess his own life had become. ‘Pizza will be here soon.’
Adriano hummed quietly in the back of his throat, then he pushed Jude off to the side and shifted closer. Noah felt the familiar stirrings of want heating up in his belly but not enough to be a problem, not yet.
‘So your brother used to live here?’
Not the question he’d been expecting, but if anything was a boner killer, it was talking about his relationship with Adam. ‘Yeah, but he moved in with his girlfriend, Talia.’
‘Do you like her?’
Noah worried his bottom lip between his teeth. ‘I guess.’
‘You guess?’
‘I love my brother, and I just want him to be happy, but he’s had a rough life.’ That was the easiest answer. ‘My parents died when we were pretty young. Adam was a baby when our dad died. He was barely four when our mom died.’ Noah was surprised at how steady his hands were, but he supposed all the years between then and now tempered his grief. ‘It was a car accident. We were heading to Atlanta, and she swerved into the wrong lane. I woke up in the hospital.’ Noah rubbed at his sternum where he had a thin scar that had never totally faded. ‘She was brought in with me, but she never woke up.’
‘I’m sorry,’ Adriano signed, the sympathy on his face genuine and without the sort of patronizing air most people used when offering condolences.
Noah waved him off. ‘It was a long time ago. We lived with our grandmother, but she died when Adam was a freshman.’
The truth dawned on Adriano, and it flared in his eyes with empathetic pain. ‘You had to leave school for good. Not just that night.’
